Wake Me Up When December Ends

“Here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

As my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends.” - Green Day

The Cleveland Indians ran a video montage at Jacobs Field playing this Green Day tune for their soon-to-be postseason run. It certainly was a joyous piece. One that gave fans hope that the season would end with a World Series title. It showed amazing catches, triple plays, and walk (or - in one memorable instance - run) off home runs. It was almost as if the song put us in a dream in which - when we woke up after September ended - the Indians would be ready for October (there are only one of these ‘Octobers’ by the way, just ask Dane Cook). The point is that as far as the Indians were concerned, “Wake Me Up When September Ends” symbolized a song that captured all of the great things that had happened in 2007.

After reading these lyrics I found myself thinking about the Browns - NOT the Indians. All you would have to do is change ’September’ to ’December’ and off you go. Unfortunately for the Browns, this song does not leave fans with that same warm giddy feeling the Indians montage brought us. Rather, it symbolizes us just wanting to get December over with, because it has given us nothing but heartbreak.

The Brownies entered December with a 7-4 record and hopes of claiming one of the two AFC Wild Card spots. Things were just going Cleveland’s way up to that point. No major injuries to speak of, a better than average offensive line, and amazingly - the ball just seemed to be bouncing in Cleveland’s favor - literally.

Jacksonville laid their claim to the first of those two positions by reeling off three consecutive wins when they mattered the most (that‘s what good teams do), including an impressive 29-22 road victory in Pittsburgh. That left one spot open. It was supposed to be our spot.

Supposed to be. As Forrest Gump so eloquently put it, “It (shit) happens.”

Indeed it did. It usually does with the Browns. This time however - unlike with some other previous years - we have no one to point the finger at except ourselves. All I heard was that the Browns had an easy schedule. 12-4 should not be that far out of the picture. The #6 seed was a practical lock. Cleveland can score on anyone. That’s all I heard. Fast forward four weeks and all of a sudden the Browns last regular season game does not mean anything. Not because the Browns have already clinched a birth in the postseason, but because our January fate rests solely on another team’s shoulders. With one week remaining in December, Cleveland had gone from a certain lock to “boy I hope Tony Dungy plays Peyton a lot” status. Destiny is no longer in the Browns’ own hands.

So why “Wake Me Up When December Ends?” Good question. I first thought of it following the Browns most recent loss to the hands of the lowly Bengals. Knowing that I would have to watch someone else control our playoff fate made me about as miserable as I was sitting at Cleveland Browns Stadium in the pouring rain for the season opener with Lucius. It’s not just being miserable and pissed off. It’s more than that.

Andy Dufresne once said, “Hope is a great thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.” Well, the feeling I’m talking about Andy would believe to be the worst of things.

Hopeless.

The crazy thing is the Browns still do have a chance. It’s simple in nature. The Colts just have to beat the Titans. That’s it. The big question is how long Dungy will play his starters. The word on the street is that he will play Peyton and Co. the first half and no more. Now, that’s not exactly hopeless. But it’s close enough for me.

I don’t want to watch the Colts-Titans game. I don’t want it to be on primetime Sunday night. I would rather just wake up the next morning and read about it in the newspaper. That’s when I started thinking about that Green Day song. It all began to make sense.

Let’s break it down.

“Here comes the rain again
falling from the stars”

This has a couple of different meanings. First off, as previously stated, Lucius and I sat in the rain watching Cleveland get absolutely killed by the Steelers in Week One. We had four frickin penalties on one play. You can’t make this stuff up.

For all of you English majors out there, eat your hearts out with this upcoming metaphor. “Here comes the rain again” symbolizes the eventual downfall the Browns were headed towards. We all felt it. We sat there each and every week wondering if this was the week where Winslow would be seriously injured, or if the referees were going to screw us, or god forbid, the Browns just absolutely stunk up the joint. It’s been this way the entire month, if not longer.

Enter the Bengals game last Sunday. Four INT’s by Derek Anderson. Playoffs taken out of our hands. Any true Browns fan was not surprised by any of this.

“Drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are”

The sad reality is that Cleveland is not a playoff team. I’m sorry. They just aren’t. Playoff teams win when they have a chance to clinch. Especially against a beat up team that is starting two rookies at safety. Yes, every team (including the Patriots) plays a bad game from time to time. Nobody is perfect (except possibly the Patriots). However, timing does play a role as to when teams can play bad. In big games, bad performances cannot be accepted. It’s called choking. And the Browns coughed up their chances in Cincinnati.

We’re “drenched” because of the rain from week one. Stay with me people.

“As my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost”

These Browns have exceeded expectations set at the beginning of the season. The thing is, expectations change. Sometimes they can change very quickly. Somewhere between the Browns 51-45 win over the Bengals in week two to their 8-0 victory in the snow against Buffalo two weeks ago, expectations shifted. We were supposed to go to the playoffs. Maybe even win a game. We still have a slight chance, but we will never forget what could have been.

“Like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast”

Twenty years ago the Browns were wrapping up an AFC Central crown and getting ready for a home playoff game against the Indianapolis Colts. The Browns won that game 38-21. The next week they played in Denver for the AFC Championship. We all know what happened there. Back when a fumble was a fumble, Earnest Byner coughed it up at Denver’s one-yard line with a chance to tie the game in the closing seconds.

1987. Twenty years ago.

2007. Here we are now. It’s been a fun season. Better than most people thought. In the big scheme of things the Browns could very easily go 10-6 and NOT get into the playoffs. Had they been in the NFC they could be a #3 seed. That’s the reality.

“Thanks for the Memories” by Fall Out Boy will have to wait however until the season is completely over. For now, will someone please wake me up when December ends?

That’s all I ask.

Go Colts.

Until next time, “read it, roll it, hole it.”