Okay guys, this is it. Just got back from Bursa's wedding, so there will be nothing but picks for this week's column. Best of luck to everyone.
JOSH: STL, CLE, NE, KC, GB, CHI, TEN, NYG, NO, TB, PHI, BAL, NYJ, ARI, WAS, SD
LUKE: ATL, PIT, BUF, KC, GB, HOU, TEN, NYG, NO, TB, PHI, BAL, MIA, ARI, SF, DEN
LUCIUS: STL, CLE, NE, KC, DET, HOU, IND, MIN, NO, OAK, DAL, JAX, NYJ, ARI, WAS, DEN
DEVIN: STL, CLE, NE, CIN, GB, CHI, TEN, MIN, CAR, TB, PHI, JAX, MIA, SEA, WAS, DEN
POLITO: ATL, PIT, NE, KC, DET, HOU, TEN, MIN, NO, OAK, DAL, JAX, MIA, ARI, WAS, DEN
JUSTIN: STL, CLE, BUF, CIN, DET, HOU, TEN, MIN, NO, OAK, DAL, JAX, NYJ, SEA, SF, DEN
BRIAN: STL, PIT, NE, CIN, GB, HOU, IND, MIN, CAR, OAK, DAL, BAL, MIA, SEA, SF, DEN
SHANE: STL, PIT, NE, KC, GB, CHI, IND, MIN, NO, OAK, DAL, JAX, MIA, ARI, WAS, DEN
KEVIN: ATL, CLE, NE, KC, GB, HOU, IND, MIN, CAR, TB, PHI, JAX, NYJ, ARI, SF, DEN
BART: ALL HOME TEAMS
BURSA: STL, PIT, NE, CIN, DET, CHI, IND, NYG, NO, OAK, DAL, JAX, MIA, ARI, WAS, DEN
CHEWY: STL, BAL, NE, KC, CHI, IND, NYG, NO, MIA, DAL, PIT, TB, ARI, DEN, SF, DET
SARA: STL, PIT, NE, KC, GB, HOU, TEN, NYG, NO, TB, PHI, BAL, MIA, ARI, SF, SD
RAPKING: STL, PIT, NE, CIN, DET, HOU, IND, NYG, CAR, OAK, DAL, JAX, NYJ, ARI, WAS, DEN
JAKE: STL, CLE, NE, CIN, GB, HOU, TEN, NYG, CAR, TB, DAL, BAL, MIA, ARI, WAS, SD
JEFF: ATL, PIT, NE, KC, DET, CHI, IND, NYG, NO, OAK, PHI, JAX, NYJ, ARI, WAS, DEN
GROTHAUS: NO PICKS
BARNES: ATL, CLE, BUF, CIN, DET, HOU, IND, MIN, NO, OAK, PHI, JAX, MIA, SEA, SF, DEN
CURTIS: NO PICKS
BRAVES: NO PICKS
Sorry for the rushed post, but wanted to get it out before the games started.
Read it, roll it, hole it.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Sixteen CONTROVERSY
Suddenly the four-month long NFL regular season seems rather short. After sixteen weeks of football, we are down to just sixteen games.
Sixteen games to decide who will be the 2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em champion.
With playoff scenarios being crunched and dissected around the league, it only makes sense to do the same. We also had a semi-conflict that needs to be opened up to a forum as well.
First, the conflict. It's not pretty, but, it is what it is. Without going into detail that is not my business to discuss, Alex Lucius failed to get his picks in on time this past week. He sent me a text @ 1:00 PM EST saying, "Give me the Browns, god damn it."
Twenty minutes later (thanks to the slowness that is Webmail), I got an e-mail from Lucius (postmarked 12:40 PM EST) with his picks for the week. Surprisingly enough, he picked the Bengals. This tells me he intended on picking the Bengals first, but right before kick-off time switched to the Browns.
Now, since Lucius is smack dab in the middle of the money, this is rather important. I'm looking at Devin, Shane, Justin, Brian, Polito, etc. Those who are also right there in the money-running. I want to know what you guys think.
Here is my thought. I say SUNDAY BY NOON on every e-mail SOLELY to avoid a conflict of this nature. That being said, Lucius has had a really tough week, and this pick 'em league was probably the last thing on his mind. He didn't get a Thursday OR a Saturday night pick in as well. However, the flip side to this is that it doesn't take more than 30 seconds to get in your picks. So, I've come up with some options, and really want to have this matter settled by Wednesday.
1) Just like anyone else who doesn't get their picks in, Lucius' record should be one game LESS THAN the person with the worst record for the week.
2) Lucius should be granted a pass, and even though his e-mail was nearly an hour late after the deadline I set, his e-mail picks should be granted.
3) A combination of the two. Take the record Lucius would have received in option #1, take his record from the e-mail picks in option #2, and then average them out.
4) Something crazy. Lucius must choose one person who has been mathematically eliminated from first place (Rapking, Jeff, Jake, Grothaus, Barnes, Curtis, Braves). Whatever record that person has in week seventeen, will be Lucius' record for week sixteen.
5) Some more crazy. Whatever Lucius does in week seventeen, his week sixteen record will be one game less than that. So if he goes 11-5 in week seventeen, his week sixteen record will now be 10-6.
Those are the options as of right now, unless someone comes up with something that completely overwhelms me.
The important thing is that I get imput. If I don't get imput, then I'll have to make the decision all by myself. That would NOT be in the spirit of Christmas. So, call me, text me, e-mail me. ESPECIALLY THE GUYS I SINGLED OUT AT THE BEGINNING. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK (SHANE, JUSTIN, BRIAN, POLITO, DEVIN, ETC). LET ME KNOW ASAP. I have my own personal opinion, but I want to know what you guys think as well.
Again, I want to come to a conclusion on this matter by Wednesday. Please help me out.
Also, while I have you here. We are going to possibly run into some trouble this weekend with the picks, but I'm hoping not. One of our league members, Brad Bursa is getting married this Saturday. It requires some travel on my part, and as a result, I will be out of town Sunday morning. Now, I will have to drive back into town Sunday morning, but I'm not sure what time. This is me just giving everyone a heads up. If something goes down, I will let one of my top advisors know and we will be in scramble mode. Hopefully it doesn't come to this.
Keep your fingers crossed.
In a perfect world, I could post the picks Friday night. But, with this being the very last week, my guess is those guys at the top will want to take their time and probably wait until Saturday night/Sunday morning to send their picks in.
So, here are the standings. NOTE: Lucius' record currently reflects option #1, it is not set in stone.
Sixteen games to decide who will be the 2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em champion.
With playoff scenarios being crunched and dissected around the league, it only makes sense to do the same. We also had a semi-conflict that needs to be opened up to a forum as well.
First, the conflict. It's not pretty, but, it is what it is. Without going into detail that is not my business to discuss, Alex Lucius failed to get his picks in on time this past week. He sent me a text @ 1:00 PM EST saying, "Give me the Browns, god damn it."
Twenty minutes later (thanks to the slowness that is Webmail), I got an e-mail from Lucius (postmarked 12:40 PM EST) with his picks for the week. Surprisingly enough, he picked the Bengals. This tells me he intended on picking the Bengals first, but right before kick-off time switched to the Browns.
Now, since Lucius is smack dab in the middle of the money, this is rather important. I'm looking at Devin, Shane, Justin, Brian, Polito, etc. Those who are also right there in the money-running. I want to know what you guys think.
Here is my thought. I say SUNDAY BY NOON on every e-mail SOLELY to avoid a conflict of this nature. That being said, Lucius has had a really tough week, and this pick 'em league was probably the last thing on his mind. He didn't get a Thursday OR a Saturday night pick in as well. However, the flip side to this is that it doesn't take more than 30 seconds to get in your picks. So, I've come up with some options, and really want to have this matter settled by Wednesday.
(NOT IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER)
1) Just like anyone else who doesn't get their picks in, Lucius' record should be one game LESS THAN the person with the worst record for the week.
2) Lucius should be granted a pass, and even though his e-mail was nearly an hour late after the deadline I set, his e-mail picks should be granted.
3) A combination of the two. Take the record Lucius would have received in option #1, take his record from the e-mail picks in option #2, and then average them out.
4) Something crazy. Lucius must choose one person who has been mathematically eliminated from first place (Rapking, Jeff, Jake, Grothaus, Barnes, Curtis, Braves). Whatever record that person has in week seventeen, will be Lucius' record for week sixteen.
5) Some more crazy. Whatever Lucius does in week seventeen, his week sixteen record will be one game less than that. So if he goes 11-5 in week seventeen, his week sixteen record will now be 10-6.
Those are the options as of right now, unless someone comes up with something that completely overwhelms me.
The important thing is that I get imput. If I don't get imput, then I'll have to make the decision all by myself. That would NOT be in the spirit of Christmas. So, call me, text me, e-mail me. ESPECIALLY THE GUYS I SINGLED OUT AT THE BEGINNING. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK (SHANE, JUSTIN, BRIAN, POLITO, DEVIN, ETC). LET ME KNOW ASAP. I have my own personal opinion, but I want to know what you guys think as well.
Again, I want to come to a conclusion on this matter by Wednesday. Please help me out.
Also, while I have you here. We are going to possibly run into some trouble this weekend with the picks, but I'm hoping not. One of our league members, Brad Bursa is getting married this Saturday. It requires some travel on my part, and as a result, I will be out of town Sunday morning. Now, I will have to drive back into town Sunday morning, but I'm not sure what time. This is me just giving everyone a heads up. If something goes down, I will let one of my top advisors know and we will be in scramble mode. Hopefully it doesn't come to this.
Keep your fingers crossed.
In a perfect world, I could post the picks Friday night. But, with this being the very last week, my guess is those guys at the top will want to take their time and probably wait until Saturday night/Sunday morning to send their picks in.
So, here are the standings. NOTE: Lucius' record currently reflects option #1, it is not set in stone.
1) Joshua Florence 137-103 (8-8)
2) Luke Florence 134-106 (9-7)
3) Alex Lucius 132-108 (5-11)
4) Devin Frank 131-109 (6-10)
5) Ryan Polito 130-110 (10-6)
6) Justin Whelan 128-112 (6-10)
6) Brian Boesch 128-112 (9-7)
8) Shane Kline 127-113 (8-8)
9) Kevin Hunt 126-114 (8-8)
10) Bart Borer 125-115 (7-9)
11) Bradley Bursa 124-116 (7-9)
12) Andrew "Chewy" Reinhart 123-117 (7-9)
13) Sara Normand 121-119 (9-7)
14) Chris Rapking 120-120 (8-8)
15) Jake Young 119-121 (6-10)
16) Jeff Normand 117-123 (7-9)
17) Michael Grothaus 115-125 (5-11)
18) Matthew Barnes 112-128 (7-9)
19) Curtis Kummerer 110-130 (7-9)
20) Andrew Braverman 106-134 (5-11)
2) Luke Florence 134-106 (9-7)
3) Alex Lucius 132-108 (5-11)
4) Devin Frank 131-109 (6-10)
5) Ryan Polito 130-110 (10-6)
6) Justin Whelan 128-112 (6-10)
6) Brian Boesch 128-112 (9-7)
8) Shane Kline 127-113 (8-8)
9) Kevin Hunt 126-114 (8-8)
10) Bart Borer 125-115 (7-9)
11) Bradley Bursa 124-116 (7-9)
12) Andrew "Chewy" Reinhart 123-117 (7-9)
13) Sara Normand 121-119 (9-7)
14) Chris Rapking 120-120 (8-8)
15) Jake Young 119-121 (6-10)
16) Jeff Normand 117-123 (7-9)
17) Michael Grothaus 115-125 (5-11)
18) Matthew Barnes 112-128 (7-9)
19) Curtis Kummerer 110-130 (7-9)
20) Andrew Braverman 106-134 (5-11)
It would take a monumental collapse for Josh not to make any money. It would also take an above average week for me, Lucius, or Devin to overtake him for first. The real race might be for who finishes second. Just seven games stand in the way between myself and Shane Kline. A bad week by those near the top, and great weeks by those currently just outside the money for things to flip. Should be interesting.
Remember, no ties, for any position. So, if the season ended today, Brian and Justin would go head-to-head, sudden death style for bragging rights on who finishes sixth. Playoff games will be used.
Okay, enough from me. Enjoy the holidays and Go Irish.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
Remember, no ties, for any position. So, if the season ended today, Brian and Justin would go head-to-head, sudden death style for bragging rights on who finishes sixth. Playoff games will be used.
Okay, enough from me. Enjoy the holidays and Go Irish.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
Sunday, December 21, 2008
2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Sixteen
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Unless of course you are Matt Barnes who is still enjoying 70+ degree weather. Hope the mosquitoes bite his ass.
We are down to a mere 30 games remaining in the regular season, and every game will be vital. We have $400 up for grabs, and are paying the top four. Also, there will be NO TIES for ANY POSITION. Yours truly is openly rooting for that to happen somewhere along the lines, which would put the playoffs in play. Sudden-death style.
Okay, we have no special columns this week, and just two contributors.
First is Jake Young, who went completely random last week, but had a process behind his madness. It gave him his best result of the season, 13-3, and also gave him hope. Two more crazy weeks like that, and Jake very well could be making some holiday money.
JAKE YOUNG'S ALMA MATER MATTERS CHALLENGE
"Here's the deal. I did this entire thing, it took me three hours, and I lost it all because webmail went down, and I didn't have it saved. After being depressed for awhile, though, I've decided to redo the whole thing. Here's this week's way of mindlessly picking the games. I'm going to compare this year's records of the competing coaches' alma maters. Best record wins. Also, to make up for quality of competition, one win will turn into a loss for FCS teams, and for D-2 and below, it will be two wins. If the straight up winner and ATS winner can be different teams, I'll take the longest tenured player on each team, and look at their alma maters. Whoever's alma mater has existed the longest will win the game. So, even if you think I'm nuts, you'll at least learn something, whether it be where certain coaches are from, who the oldest guys on teams are, or how long certain universities have been around. Giddy up!!
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18TH
Indianapolis (-6) @ Jacksonville
The Pick: Indianapolis
Starting off, I didn't decide to do this until after this pick was due, so I just went with Indy. Let's see how it would have worked out. Tony Dungy was a star at Minnesota which was a much-improved 7-5 this year, but the Jags' Jack Del Rio went to USC, which is 11-1. Under that, I should have picked the Jags. Great start to the week.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20TH
Baltimore @ Dallas (-4.5)
The Pick: Dallas
Baltimore's John Harbaugh starred at Miami of Ohio, where the woeful Redhawks went 2-10. Wade "Don't care what goes on, as long as I get paid" Phillips, meanwhile, played at Houston, which is 7-5 at the time. The Cowboys take the hard fought match-up of playoff hopefuls.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21ST
Cincinnati @ Cleveland (-3)
The Pick: Cleveland
Most people probably don't know that "Soon to be Starvin" Marvin Lewis was a Bengal long before taking residence in Cincinnati. Marvin was an Idaho State Bengal in college. Another fact some may not know. The last job of the "Voice of the Bobcats", Russ Eisenstein, was with ISU. Crazy. Anyway, the Bengals were 1-11 this year in FCS action, translating to 0-12 with quality of
competition. Can Romeo Crennel find a way to blow it against a defeated team?? I could see it. Alas, he didn't this time. Romeo went to Western Kentucky, where the independent Hilltoppers finished a terrible 2-10. Two pitiful college records to go with two pitiful NFL records, but Cleveland wins. Makes sense Romeo went to an Independent school. Not enough room for him in a conference.
New Orleans (-6.5) @ Detroit
The Pick: Detroit (ATS) New Orleans (Straight Up)
New Orleans' Sean Payton was a 10,000 yard passer at Eastern Illinois (Maybe this should be the "Cradle of Coaches" [more on that later]) who went an adjusted 4-8 this season. Detroit's Rod Marinelli seems to me like an Army man, and it turns out, he did do a tour in Vietnam. He didn't play at West Point, though. He played 2 years at Utah and 2 at California Lutheran, so
we'll take the Utes' first six games (6-0) and the Lutes' (actually they're the Kingsmen) second six (1-5) for a total of 7-5. That means Detroit covers. So we go to the other tie breaker. New Orleans' longest tenured player is 16 year man Mark Brunell out of Washington. And this is even better than I thought!! We have an Apple Cup showdown! Detroit has 17 year man, Jason Hanson out of Wazzu, Washington State. These guys played college ball against each other, and now the age of their schools will decide the game. Washington is 147 years old, while State is only 116 years old. Detroit covers, but the Saints win to keep the Lionesses defeated on the year.
Miami (-4) @ Kansas City
The Pick: Kansas City (ATS) Miami (Straight Up)
Herm Edwards played 2 years at Cal, one at Monterey Peninsula JC, and one at San Diego State. Cal's first six games give you 4-2, but the Lobos didn't list their results, so they get an 0-3, and the Spartans finished 1 for their last 3, for a total of 5-7. How about Tony Sparano?? He attended the University of New Haven, and it turns out, the Chargers played club ball this year, and didn't list their results. That gives Sparano an 0-12, meaning KC covers. Who will win, though?? Nose Tackle Jason Ferguson of Miami is in his 12th year out of Georgia, which is a whopping 223 years old. KC has UCLA's Donnie Edwards. The Bruins have only been around for 91 years. Miami, in its usual way, will squeak out another one.
Pittsburgh (-1) @ Tennessee
The Pick: Tennessee
The Steelers' Mike Tomlin is a grad of William and Mary, who went an adjusted 6-5. Jeff Fisher, though, is a USC boy, so his 11-1 lifts the Titans to victory, securing the number one seed in the AFC.
Arizona @ New England (-8)
The Pick: Arizona (ATS) New England (Straight Up)
Ken Whisenhunt played ball at Georgia Tech, and the Ramblin' Wreck and triple option led the Jackets to a 9-3 record. Bill Belichick, meanwhile, played at Wesleyan. The Cards went an adjusted 0-9, so the Arizona Cards are looking good against the Pats. Arizona?s longest tenured player is Bryan Robinson, a nose tackle from Fresno State. New England?s oldest is USC?s own Junior Seau. The Pats, like the Fins, will win close because USC has been around 128 years to Fresno's 97.
San Diego @ Tampa Bay (-3)
The Pick: San Diego
Norv "Not the Burner" Turner went to Oregon, home of the 9-3 Ducks. As for Chucky Gruden?? He was a quarterback for the Dayton Flyers, who, with an adjusted 8-4, falling just short of Norv's boys in San Diego. Can the Bucs pull out a 1 or 2 point win, though?? Turns out, no, and by the slimmest of margins. Tampa has 3-14 year guys, but Joey Galloway of Ohio State is the
oldest. For San Diego, long snapper David Binn went to California. Turns out, the Golden Bears beat out the Bucks 139-138, and the Bucks and Bucs lose out in the end. Good to see Joey Galloway is still alive. I drafted him way too early in one of my fantasy leagues, and thought he got shot by Plaxico Burress during week four.
San Francisco (-5.5) @ St. Louis
The Pick: St. Louis
Mike Singletary went to Baylor, who had a less-than-banner 3-9 season. Jim Haslett, meanwhile, went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania. The Crimson Hawks were an adjusted 7-4, a winner in this game. As for the actual game?? St. Louis? Trent Green went to Indiana University of Indiana, and Isaac Bruce of the Niners (sounds wrong doesn't it?) went to Memphis. Well, St. Louis is going to take the win because Indiana beats Memphis 188-96.
Atlanta @ Minnesota (-3)
The Pick: Minnesota
Mike Smith attended East Tennessee State University, the same as my aunt and cousin. Unfortunately, the Bucs no longer have football, so he gets an 0-12. Brad Childress, on the other hand, Brad Childress is our second Eastern Illinois head coach, but unlike Sean Payton, the 4-8 pulls out a win for his team.
Philadelphia (-4.5) @ Washington
The Pick: Philadelphia
Andy Reid is from BYU, who is 10-2, and Jim Zorn went to Cal Poly Pomona. Unfortunately for Zorn, the Broncos don't field a football team anymore, so Philly takes the win, keeping themselves alive with the Atlanta loss.
Buffalo @ Denver (-7)
The Pick: Buffalo (ATS) Denver (Straight Up)
Dick Jauron is an Ivy League man, attending Yale in his college days. The Bulldogs finished an even 5-5 with adjustment. Mike Shanahan is our third head man from Eastern Illinois, and the 4-8 isn't enough to win this time. Buffalo makes it close, but can they win?? The Bills' longest tenured man is Jason Whittle from Missouri State. For the Broncs, it's not surprise that it's
center Tom Nalen, out of Boston College. BC is 145 years old, and the Bears have been around for only 103. Denver wins a squeaker.
Houston (-7) @ Oakland
The Pick: Houston
Houston native Gary Kubiak won me a big one last week. Let's see what his 4-8 Aggies of Texas A&M can do for me this week. Answer?? Just enough. Tom Cable went to Idaho, and the Vandals finished a woeful 2-10 in the competitive WAC. Houston takes it comfortably.
New York Jets (-5) @ Seattle
The Pick Seattle
Eric Mangini, like his former mentor Bill Belichick, gets an 0-9 from his alma mater, Wesleyan. Mike Holmgren, meanwhile, was a quarterback at USC, so he gets 11-1 and a comfortable cover. Can the Hawks knock Favre and the Jets out of the AFC East race, though?? Well, Favre has a little to say about it. He's the longest tenured Jet, and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles have been around for 98 years. For the Hawks, the oldest guy is Chris Gray from Auburn. The Tigers take the win and so does Seattle, 152-98.
Carolina @ New York Giants (-3)
The Pick: Carolina
John Fox was once a teammate of Herm Edwards at San Diego State. He gets the whole season's worth of games from the Spartans instead of just the last 3, so his record is 2-10. Tom Coughlin, meanwhile, played in the backfield with Larry Csonka at Syracuse. The Orangemen pull out a close Giants' win with a 3-9 record.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 22ND
Green Bay @ Chicago (-4)
The Pick: Chicago
Mike McCarthy went to tiny Baker University in Kansas, where the Wildcats finished an adjusted 6-6. Lovie Smith went to Tulsa, though, who was ranked for the first time in about 60 years and finished 9-3. Bears win, guaranteeing the Pack, not only their second losing record since '92, but also their second double-digit loss season in the same period."
Big thanks to Jake for doing the massive amount of research it takes to put something like this together. Hopefully Santa rewards him with another great record.
And now we move on to Kevin Hunt. Again, Kevin has outdone himself. Enjoy.
Indianapolis (-6) @ Jacksonville -- INDY
Thanks to David Garrard for making many people angry. Mark Brunell is steaming.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20TH
Baltimore @ Dallas (-4.5) -- DAL
This game is just a shade below the hatred line of the Ravens-Steelers game last week. I was searching for a metaphor for being a Browns fan watching that game and all I could come up with was that it was like watching two of your fat, ugly sisters making out. A little twist on the usual metaphor for tying in a game. How about your two sisters getting unbelievable Christmas presents, but you get nothing but underwear. Come to think of it, with that metaphor, the Browns are Cinderella. God help us.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21ST
Cincinnati @ Cleveland (-3) -- CLE
After watching Ken Dorsey throw the ball, I really hope the Browns realize that Jamal Lewis should get the ball even if there are nine in the box. And honestly, there really could be nine in the box (cue John Madden marking off each and every defender, one-by-one, putting an X over each one). I mean, who are the Bengals going to be worried about covering... Darnell Dinkins? Steptoe? I'd even put 10 in the box and assume Dorsey wouldn't see the wide open guy. Dorsey can't throw, Jamal can't run, Braylon can't catch. Cribbs can do all three, but hardly plays. Makes sense.
New Orleans (-6.5) @ Detroit -- DET
No one wants to be the team that allows the only win for a team in a season. The Lions may not win, but something tells me they'll want to at least play hard for the fans one last time.
Wouldn't it be wise of the Detroit organization to set up some ridiculous promotion for the fans... something like making the lower level all general admissions seating and, if you can prove that you made it to all eight home games this season, you get to sit down there. If you are a season ticket holder who didn't want to be there and sold your tickets off, you don't get your seats this week. It'd be smart, considering they'll have to put a curtain on the upper level to make it seem like the place is full, similar to how they do for women's college basketball games. It has been awesome to live in the Toledo FOX area the past few weeks. Thanks to Detroit not being able to sell-out their games, FOX has blacked out their games. Which means yours truly gets to watch a decent game on FOX. It just doesn't feel right.
Miami (-4) @ Kansas City -- MIA
Thank you so much for the "Who are the Chefs?" Snickers Super Bowl commercial find. I immediately put it in my youtube favorites, hoping to never lose sight of it again. I remember when it came on, ol' Randy couldn't stop talking about it. And now I'M the one who can't. This is just how it was meant to be. If I see that Applebee's commercial one more time ...
Pittsburgh (-1) @ Tennessee -- PITT
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: the favorite
I'm not sure the Titans want to win this game. Remember how the Jaguars beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh? A sloppy, sloppy field. Plus it would allow Tennessee to use the whole, "We're not the favorites in these playoffs. Believe in yourselves" thought line going in. That notion sounds dumb, but it's true. Recent history has shown us that teams who don't have home-field advantage tend to do better in the playoffs. Go figure.
Arizona @ New England (-8) -- NE
Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week: She doesn't hear enough of the Cardinals, she thinks they flew south. What do Cardinals sound like? What about horse socks? Is anyone listening to me?
San Diego @ Tampa Bay (-3) -- TB
Val-uable Pick of the Week: Tampa Bay will win by 8 because Proposition 8 is terrible and all of California should be punished. Well, they do have to watch Norv Turner and the Chargers week in and week out, that's pretty bad.
San Francisco (-5.5) @ St. Louis -- SF or STL
If Frank Gore plays, I'm taking the 49ers. If he doesn't, I'm taking the Rams. You got the Rams, no Gore. Kind of like the 2000 Presidential Election, no Gore.
Atlanta @ Minnesota (-3) -- ATL
Nothing would make me happier more than seeing TJack fall on his face and send the Vikings into disarray as they have the possibility of going to the playoffs. They lose this one, then have to wait and see if they back into the postseason, depending on the Monday Night game. The saving grace would be allowing Adrian Peterson just run -- taking the Browns-Jamal Lewis angle. Adrian Peterson NOW > Jamal Lewis EVER.
Philadelphia (-4.5) @ Washington -- WAS
As much as I'm not sold on the Redskins, I'm not sold on the Eagles either. Plus I'm watching the Eagle Bank Bowl that's being played at RFK Stadium in D.C. Towards the beginning, they showed the last Redskins game played at RFK and how there were a bunch of alumni there. I was legitimately excited in hopes of seeing Ernest Byner, but I didn't see him for even a second. What a crock. But what should I expect, he was basically invisible for the Old Browns beer pong team as well. One of the best ideas we've ever come up with. The rule is simple: you must shout-out a name of an Old Cleveland Browns player before every single beer-pong toss. It's fan-tastic.
Buffalo @ Denver (-7) -- BUF
I'm just so hopeful that there will be a Week 17 game that means something (Denver-San Diego). And I mean a REAL something, not a "I sure hope the Colts are dumb enough to play Peyton Manning instead of Jim Sorgi so the Browns can get into the playoffs" something. He may be a Badger, but if Sorgi ever makes it to a Madison bar in the offseason, he's getting a haymaker from yours truly. And I can only hope to be wearing my Brady Quinn t-shirt. Something tells me I will be involved as well.
Houston (-7) @ Oakland -- HOU
Thanks for showing up to the party late this year. Also thanks for beating the Browns (my team) and the Packers (my first game at Lambeau), both on the road. So the Texans are doing their best to catch up to Ohio State in the "hated" poll.
New York Jets (-5) @ Seattle -- SEA
Brett is old and not looking like his usual "I can dick around this entire game and still win it" self. Not to mention this is the reuniting of Favre and Mike Holmgren, who has to be just miserable at this point in his career at Seattle. They have preppy coffee and rain.... that's all.
Holmgren doesn't seem like he should be the coach, but should instead be the really large guy who sits in the middle-to-upper decks of the stadium, watching his team get pummelled in the pouring rain, but refusing to put a poncho on or use an umbrella. Is he cold? More or less. But he's miserable and he's using his oversized body as a billboard to show it.
In other words, Holmgren is Lucius. Quote of the week. No question. Speaking of Lucius, he hasn't gotten his picks in yet. He has about two minutes left.
Carolina @ New York Giants (-3) -- CAR
I like this line as long as Jake "of the man" doesn't have to pass. If the Giants stack the box AND can stop both backs for the Panthers, they stand a much better chance, but I just don't see it happening. The "Of the Man" references is why I love this format. Look at the artist formally known as JTO Sullivan.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 22ND
Green Bay @ Chicago (-4) -- CHI
I know I said I wouldn't go against Ken Jones. But with all due respect, I think the Bears will take this game AND will force that final week decision for the North Division title. Mr. Jones has helped me a lot this year and he may very well get my award as "Ass. Picker of the Year" (spelled incorrectly on purpose) for being the reason that I won some games. By next year, I will have someone different picking every one of my games. Mark it down. Somewhere Lucius is pissed. He wanted to be the full-time ass picker of the century.
NOW ON TO THE PICKS.
JOSH: CLE, DET, MIA, TEN, NE, TB, SF, MIN, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, NYG, CHI
LUCIUS: CLE (ONLY PICK HE GOT IN). IF HE WINS, HE WILL TIE FOR THE WORST RECORD OF THE WEEK. IF HE LOSES, HE WILL GET ONE GAME LESS THAN THE WORST RECORD OF THE WEEK.
DEVIN: CLE, NO, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
LUKE: CIN, DET, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, NYG, GB
JUSTIN: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, NYG, CHI
POLITO: CIN, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, TB, STL, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
BRIAN: CIN, NO, MIA, PIT, ARI, TB, STL, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, CAR, GB
SHANE: CIN, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, SD, SF, MIN, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, CAR, CHI
KEVIN: CLE, DET, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, STL, ATL, WAS, BUF, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
BART: ALL HOME TEAMS
BURSA: CIN, NO, KC, TEN, NE, TB, STL, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, NYJ, CAR, CHI
CHEWY: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, NYG, GB
JAKE: SEE HIS COLUMN THIS WEEK
RAPKING: CIN, NO, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
SARA: CLE, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, SD, SF, MIN, PHI, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, GB
GROTHAUS: NO PICKS THIS WEEK
JEFF: CIN, NO, KC, PIT, ARI, SD, STL, ATL, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
BARNES: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, SD, SF, ATL, PHI, DEN, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
CURTIS: CLE, NO, MIA, TEN, ARI, SD, SF, ATL, WAS, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
BRAVES: YOU GUESSED IT, NO PICKS
There ya go. Sorry for being just a tad late. Have a Merry Christmas. And Bursa, well buddy, you are going to be married in less than a week!!! Unreal.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
We are down to a mere 30 games remaining in the regular season, and every game will be vital. We have $400 up for grabs, and are paying the top four. Also, there will be NO TIES for ANY POSITION. Yours truly is openly rooting for that to happen somewhere along the lines, which would put the playoffs in play. Sudden-death style.
Okay, we have no special columns this week, and just two contributors.
First is Jake Young, who went completely random last week, but had a process behind his madness. It gave him his best result of the season, 13-3, and also gave him hope. Two more crazy weeks like that, and Jake very well could be making some holiday money.
JAKE YOUNG'S ALMA MATER MATTERS CHALLENGE
"Here's the deal. I did this entire thing, it took me three hours, and I lost it all because webmail went down, and I didn't have it saved. After being depressed for awhile, though, I've decided to redo the whole thing. Here's this week's way of mindlessly picking the games. I'm going to compare this year's records of the competing coaches' alma maters. Best record wins. Also, to make up for quality of competition, one win will turn into a loss for FCS teams, and for D-2 and below, it will be two wins. If the straight up winner and ATS winner can be different teams, I'll take the longest tenured player on each team, and look at their alma maters. Whoever's alma mater has existed the longest will win the game. So, even if you think I'm nuts, you'll at least learn something, whether it be where certain coaches are from, who the oldest guys on teams are, or how long certain universities have been around. Giddy up!!
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18TH
Indianapolis (-6) @ Jacksonville
The Pick: Indianapolis
Starting off, I didn't decide to do this until after this pick was due, so I just went with Indy. Let's see how it would have worked out. Tony Dungy was a star at Minnesota which was a much-improved 7-5 this year, but the Jags' Jack Del Rio went to USC, which is 11-1. Under that, I should have picked the Jags. Great start to the week.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20TH
Baltimore @ Dallas (-4.5)
The Pick: Dallas
Baltimore's John Harbaugh starred at Miami of Ohio, where the woeful Redhawks went 2-10. Wade "Don't care what goes on, as long as I get paid" Phillips, meanwhile, played at Houston, which is 7-5 at the time. The Cowboys take the hard fought match-up of playoff hopefuls.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21ST
Cincinnati @ Cleveland (-3)
The Pick: Cleveland
Most people probably don't know that "Soon to be Starvin" Marvin Lewis was a Bengal long before taking residence in Cincinnati. Marvin was an Idaho State Bengal in college. Another fact some may not know. The last job of the "Voice of the Bobcats", Russ Eisenstein, was with ISU. Crazy. Anyway, the Bengals were 1-11 this year in FCS action, translating to 0-12 with quality of
competition. Can Romeo Crennel find a way to blow it against a defeated team?? I could see it. Alas, he didn't this time. Romeo went to Western Kentucky, where the independent Hilltoppers finished a terrible 2-10. Two pitiful college records to go with two pitiful NFL records, but Cleveland wins. Makes sense Romeo went to an Independent school. Not enough room for him in a conference.
New Orleans (-6.5) @ Detroit
The Pick: Detroit (ATS) New Orleans (Straight Up)
New Orleans' Sean Payton was a 10,000 yard passer at Eastern Illinois (Maybe this should be the "Cradle of Coaches" [more on that later]) who went an adjusted 4-8 this season. Detroit's Rod Marinelli seems to me like an Army man, and it turns out, he did do a tour in Vietnam. He didn't play at West Point, though. He played 2 years at Utah and 2 at California Lutheran, so
we'll take the Utes' first six games (6-0) and the Lutes' (actually they're the Kingsmen) second six (1-5) for a total of 7-5. That means Detroit covers. So we go to the other tie breaker. New Orleans' longest tenured player is 16 year man Mark Brunell out of Washington. And this is even better than I thought!! We have an Apple Cup showdown! Detroit has 17 year man, Jason Hanson out of Wazzu, Washington State. These guys played college ball against each other, and now the age of their schools will decide the game. Washington is 147 years old, while State is only 116 years old. Detroit covers, but the Saints win to keep the Lionesses defeated on the year.
Miami (-4) @ Kansas City
The Pick: Kansas City (ATS) Miami (Straight Up)
Herm Edwards played 2 years at Cal, one at Monterey Peninsula JC, and one at San Diego State. Cal's first six games give you 4-2, but the Lobos didn't list their results, so they get an 0-3, and the Spartans finished 1 for their last 3, for a total of 5-7. How about Tony Sparano?? He attended the University of New Haven, and it turns out, the Chargers played club ball this year, and didn't list their results. That gives Sparano an 0-12, meaning KC covers. Who will win, though?? Nose Tackle Jason Ferguson of Miami is in his 12th year out of Georgia, which is a whopping 223 years old. KC has UCLA's Donnie Edwards. The Bruins have only been around for 91 years. Miami, in its usual way, will squeak out another one.
Pittsburgh (-1) @ Tennessee
The Pick: Tennessee
The Steelers' Mike Tomlin is a grad of William and Mary, who went an adjusted 6-5. Jeff Fisher, though, is a USC boy, so his 11-1 lifts the Titans to victory, securing the number one seed in the AFC.
Arizona @ New England (-8)
The Pick: Arizona (ATS) New England (Straight Up)
Ken Whisenhunt played ball at Georgia Tech, and the Ramblin' Wreck and triple option led the Jackets to a 9-3 record. Bill Belichick, meanwhile, played at Wesleyan. The Cards went an adjusted 0-9, so the Arizona Cards are looking good against the Pats. Arizona?s longest tenured player is Bryan Robinson, a nose tackle from Fresno State. New England?s oldest is USC?s own Junior Seau. The Pats, like the Fins, will win close because USC has been around 128 years to Fresno's 97.
San Diego @ Tampa Bay (-3)
The Pick: San Diego
Norv "Not the Burner" Turner went to Oregon, home of the 9-3 Ducks. As for Chucky Gruden?? He was a quarterback for the Dayton Flyers, who, with an adjusted 8-4, falling just short of Norv's boys in San Diego. Can the Bucs pull out a 1 or 2 point win, though?? Turns out, no, and by the slimmest of margins. Tampa has 3-14 year guys, but Joey Galloway of Ohio State is the
oldest. For San Diego, long snapper David Binn went to California. Turns out, the Golden Bears beat out the Bucks 139-138, and the Bucks and Bucs lose out in the end. Good to see Joey Galloway is still alive. I drafted him way too early in one of my fantasy leagues, and thought he got shot by Plaxico Burress during week four.
San Francisco (-5.5) @ St. Louis
The Pick: St. Louis
Mike Singletary went to Baylor, who had a less-than-banner 3-9 season. Jim Haslett, meanwhile, went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania. The Crimson Hawks were an adjusted 7-4, a winner in this game. As for the actual game?? St. Louis? Trent Green went to Indiana University of Indiana, and Isaac Bruce of the Niners (sounds wrong doesn't it?) went to Memphis. Well, St. Louis is going to take the win because Indiana beats Memphis 188-96.
Atlanta @ Minnesota (-3)
The Pick: Minnesota
Mike Smith attended East Tennessee State University, the same as my aunt and cousin. Unfortunately, the Bucs no longer have football, so he gets an 0-12. Brad Childress, on the other hand, Brad Childress is our second Eastern Illinois head coach, but unlike Sean Payton, the 4-8 pulls out a win for his team.
Philadelphia (-4.5) @ Washington
The Pick: Philadelphia
Andy Reid is from BYU, who is 10-2, and Jim Zorn went to Cal Poly Pomona. Unfortunately for Zorn, the Broncos don't field a football team anymore, so Philly takes the win, keeping themselves alive with the Atlanta loss.
Buffalo @ Denver (-7)
The Pick: Buffalo (ATS) Denver (Straight Up)
Dick Jauron is an Ivy League man, attending Yale in his college days. The Bulldogs finished an even 5-5 with adjustment. Mike Shanahan is our third head man from Eastern Illinois, and the 4-8 isn't enough to win this time. Buffalo makes it close, but can they win?? The Bills' longest tenured man is Jason Whittle from Missouri State. For the Broncs, it's not surprise that it's
center Tom Nalen, out of Boston College. BC is 145 years old, and the Bears have been around for only 103. Denver wins a squeaker.
Houston (-7) @ Oakland
The Pick: Houston
Houston native Gary Kubiak won me a big one last week. Let's see what his 4-8 Aggies of Texas A&M can do for me this week. Answer?? Just enough. Tom Cable went to Idaho, and the Vandals finished a woeful 2-10 in the competitive WAC. Houston takes it comfortably.
New York Jets (-5) @ Seattle
The Pick Seattle
Eric Mangini, like his former mentor Bill Belichick, gets an 0-9 from his alma mater, Wesleyan. Mike Holmgren, meanwhile, was a quarterback at USC, so he gets 11-1 and a comfortable cover. Can the Hawks knock Favre and the Jets out of the AFC East race, though?? Well, Favre has a little to say about it. He's the longest tenured Jet, and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles have been around for 98 years. For the Hawks, the oldest guy is Chris Gray from Auburn. The Tigers take the win and so does Seattle, 152-98.
Carolina @ New York Giants (-3)
The Pick: Carolina
John Fox was once a teammate of Herm Edwards at San Diego State. He gets the whole season's worth of games from the Spartans instead of just the last 3, so his record is 2-10. Tom Coughlin, meanwhile, played in the backfield with Larry Csonka at Syracuse. The Orangemen pull out a close Giants' win with a 3-9 record.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 22ND
Green Bay @ Chicago (-4)
The Pick: Chicago
Mike McCarthy went to tiny Baker University in Kansas, where the Wildcats finished an adjusted 6-6. Lovie Smith went to Tulsa, though, who was ranked for the first time in about 60 years and finished 9-3. Bears win, guaranteeing the Pack, not only their second losing record since '92, but also their second double-digit loss season in the same period."
Big thanks to Jake for doing the massive amount of research it takes to put something like this together. Hopefully Santa rewards him with another great record.
And now we move on to Kevin Hunt. Again, Kevin has outdone himself. Enjoy.
Indianapolis (-6) @ Jacksonville -- INDY
Thanks to David Garrard for making many people angry. Mark Brunell is steaming.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20TH
Baltimore @ Dallas (-4.5) -- DAL
This game is just a shade below the hatred line of the Ravens-Steelers game last week. I was searching for a metaphor for being a Browns fan watching that game and all I could come up with was that it was like watching two of your fat, ugly sisters making out. A little twist on the usual metaphor for tying in a game. How about your two sisters getting unbelievable Christmas presents, but you get nothing but underwear. Come to think of it, with that metaphor, the Browns are Cinderella. God help us.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21ST
Cincinnati @ Cleveland (-3) -- CLE
After watching Ken Dorsey throw the ball, I really hope the Browns realize that Jamal Lewis should get the ball even if there are nine in the box. And honestly, there really could be nine in the box (cue John Madden marking off each and every defender, one-by-one, putting an X over each one). I mean, who are the Bengals going to be worried about covering... Darnell Dinkins? Steptoe? I'd even put 10 in the box and assume Dorsey wouldn't see the wide open guy. Dorsey can't throw, Jamal can't run, Braylon can't catch. Cribbs can do all three, but hardly plays. Makes sense.
New Orleans (-6.5) @ Detroit -- DET
No one wants to be the team that allows the only win for a team in a season. The Lions may not win, but something tells me they'll want to at least play hard for the fans one last time.
Wouldn't it be wise of the Detroit organization to set up some ridiculous promotion for the fans... something like making the lower level all general admissions seating and, if you can prove that you made it to all eight home games this season, you get to sit down there. If you are a season ticket holder who didn't want to be there and sold your tickets off, you don't get your seats this week. It'd be smart, considering they'll have to put a curtain on the upper level to make it seem like the place is full, similar to how they do for women's college basketball games. It has been awesome to live in the Toledo FOX area the past few weeks. Thanks to Detroit not being able to sell-out their games, FOX has blacked out their games. Which means yours truly gets to watch a decent game on FOX. It just doesn't feel right.
Miami (-4) @ Kansas City -- MIA
Thank you so much for the "Who are the Chefs?" Snickers Super Bowl commercial find. I immediately put it in my youtube favorites, hoping to never lose sight of it again. I remember when it came on, ol' Randy couldn't stop talking about it. And now I'M the one who can't. This is just how it was meant to be. If I see that Applebee's commercial one more time ...
Pittsburgh (-1) @ Tennessee -- PITT
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: the favorite
I'm not sure the Titans want to win this game. Remember how the Jaguars beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh? A sloppy, sloppy field. Plus it would allow Tennessee to use the whole, "We're not the favorites in these playoffs. Believe in yourselves" thought line going in. That notion sounds dumb, but it's true. Recent history has shown us that teams who don't have home-field advantage tend to do better in the playoffs. Go figure.
Arizona @ New England (-8) -- NE
Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week: She doesn't hear enough of the Cardinals, she thinks they flew south. What do Cardinals sound like? What about horse socks? Is anyone listening to me?
San Diego @ Tampa Bay (-3) -- TB
Val-uable Pick of the Week: Tampa Bay will win by 8 because Proposition 8 is terrible and all of California should be punished. Well, they do have to watch Norv Turner and the Chargers week in and week out, that's pretty bad.
San Francisco (-5.5) @ St. Louis -- SF or STL
If Frank Gore plays, I'm taking the 49ers. If he doesn't, I'm taking the Rams. You got the Rams, no Gore. Kind of like the 2000 Presidential Election, no Gore.
Atlanta @ Minnesota (-3) -- ATL
Nothing would make me happier more than seeing TJack fall on his face and send the Vikings into disarray as they have the possibility of going to the playoffs. They lose this one, then have to wait and see if they back into the postseason, depending on the Monday Night game. The saving grace would be allowing Adrian Peterson just run -- taking the Browns-Jamal Lewis angle. Adrian Peterson NOW > Jamal Lewis EVER.
Philadelphia (-4.5) @ Washington -- WAS
As much as I'm not sold on the Redskins, I'm not sold on the Eagles either. Plus I'm watching the Eagle Bank Bowl that's being played at RFK Stadium in D.C. Towards the beginning, they showed the last Redskins game played at RFK and how there were a bunch of alumni there. I was legitimately excited in hopes of seeing Ernest Byner, but I didn't see him for even a second. What a crock. But what should I expect, he was basically invisible for the Old Browns beer pong team as well. One of the best ideas we've ever come up with. The rule is simple: you must shout-out a name of an Old Cleveland Browns player before every single beer-pong toss. It's fan-tastic.
Buffalo @ Denver (-7) -- BUF
I'm just so hopeful that there will be a Week 17 game that means something (Denver-San Diego). And I mean a REAL something, not a "I sure hope the Colts are dumb enough to play Peyton Manning instead of Jim Sorgi so the Browns can get into the playoffs" something. He may be a Badger, but if Sorgi ever makes it to a Madison bar in the offseason, he's getting a haymaker from yours truly. And I can only hope to be wearing my Brady Quinn t-shirt. Something tells me I will be involved as well.
Houston (-7) @ Oakland -- HOU
Thanks for showing up to the party late this year. Also thanks for beating the Browns (my team) and the Packers (my first game at Lambeau), both on the road. So the Texans are doing their best to catch up to Ohio State in the "hated" poll.
New York Jets (-5) @ Seattle -- SEA
Brett is old and not looking like his usual "I can dick around this entire game and still win it" self. Not to mention this is the reuniting of Favre and Mike Holmgren, who has to be just miserable at this point in his career at Seattle. They have preppy coffee and rain.... that's all.
Holmgren doesn't seem like he should be the coach, but should instead be the really large guy who sits in the middle-to-upper decks of the stadium, watching his team get pummelled in the pouring rain, but refusing to put a poncho on or use an umbrella. Is he cold? More or less. But he's miserable and he's using his oversized body as a billboard to show it.
In other words, Holmgren is Lucius. Quote of the week. No question. Speaking of Lucius, he hasn't gotten his picks in yet. He has about two minutes left.
Carolina @ New York Giants (-3) -- CAR
I like this line as long as Jake "of the man" doesn't have to pass. If the Giants stack the box AND can stop both backs for the Panthers, they stand a much better chance, but I just don't see it happening. The "Of the Man" references is why I love this format. Look at the artist formally known as JTO Sullivan.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 22ND
Green Bay @ Chicago (-4) -- CHI
I know I said I wouldn't go against Ken Jones. But with all due respect, I think the Bears will take this game AND will force that final week decision for the North Division title. Mr. Jones has helped me a lot this year and he may very well get my award as "Ass. Picker of the Year" (spelled incorrectly on purpose) for being the reason that I won some games. By next year, I will have someone different picking every one of my games. Mark it down. Somewhere Lucius is pissed. He wanted to be the full-time ass picker of the century.
NOW ON TO THE PICKS.
JOSH: CLE, DET, MIA, TEN, NE, TB, SF, MIN, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, NYG, CHI
LUCIUS: CLE (ONLY PICK HE GOT IN). IF HE WINS, HE WILL TIE FOR THE WORST RECORD OF THE WEEK. IF HE LOSES, HE WILL GET ONE GAME LESS THAN THE WORST RECORD OF THE WEEK.
DEVIN: CLE, NO, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
LUKE: CIN, DET, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, NYG, GB
JUSTIN: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, NYG, CHI
POLITO: CIN, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, TB, STL, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
BRIAN: CIN, NO, MIA, PIT, ARI, TB, STL, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, SEA, CAR, GB
SHANE: CIN, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, SD, SF, MIN, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, CAR, CHI
KEVIN: CLE, DET, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, STL, ATL, WAS, BUF, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
BART: ALL HOME TEAMS
BURSA: CIN, NO, KC, TEN, NE, TB, STL, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, NYJ, CAR, CHI
CHEWY: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, TB, SF, MIN, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, NYG, GB
JAKE: SEE HIS COLUMN THIS WEEK
RAPKING: CIN, NO, MIA, PIT, NE, TB, SF, ATL, PHI, BUF, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
SARA: CLE, NO, MIA, TEN, NE, SD, SF, MIN, PHI, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, GB
GROTHAUS: NO PICKS THIS WEEK
JEFF: CIN, NO, KC, PIT, ARI, SD, STL, ATL, WAS, DEN, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
BARNES: CLE, NO, KC, PIT, NE, SD, SF, ATL, PHI, DEN, HOU, SEA, CAR, CHI
CURTIS: CLE, NO, MIA, TEN, ARI, SD, SF, ATL, WAS, DEN, HOU, NYJ, NYG, CHI
BRAVES: YOU GUESSED IT, NO PICKS
There ya go. Sorry for being just a tad late. Have a Merry Christmas. And Bursa, well buddy, you are going to be married in less than a week!!! Unreal.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
Sunday, December 14, 2008
2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Fifteen
Rooting is supposed to be easy. You want one team to win, and the other to lose. It's the basis for athletic competition. However, with three weeks to go in the NFL's regular season, several of us are faced with a conflict of interest. Granted, it's been the same conflict of interest the past fourteen weeks, but now, money is up for grabs.
It's fantasy football playoff time.
Luckily for the KOA, we made the playoffs in all three of our fantasy football leagues. We are also in a solid position to make money in this pick 'em league. It creates a tremendous and constant conflict of interest. All of a sudden, with hundreds of dollars at stake, my mind can't process the information. I might need the Giants to win by seven, but no touchdowns by Brandon Jacobs. I might need Kurt Warner to throw three touchdowns, but not outscore their opponent by more than a field goal.
It's complicated and oftentimes confusing, but it's what we play for when we sign up for all of these leagues. We want this drama. It makes every game, every play important. I wouldn't want it any other way. May the best teams win.
Not too many comments this week, so this column will take the same shape of last week's. Jake Young, Kevin Hunt, and Ryan Polito are the week fifteen contributors. Giddy up.
For some strange reason this week, Jake's comments had trouble appearing on the KOA, the formatting wouldn't cooperate with us. So, please check out Jake's blog on our sidebar to see how exactly he came up with his winners this week.
"Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (-3) -- ATL
The pirates who stole the ship are giving in. And I just can't see Jeff Garcia leading a team to two straight playoff appearances -- sorry I have to say it Devin.
And for the football knowledge side -- did you see what the Panthers running backs did to the Bucs last week?! Jon Gruden, meet Michael Turner.
San Francisco @ Miami (-6.5) -- MIA
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: Taking the 3rd game (because I just made $300 in school loan payments) -- going with the team whose #24 I hate more.
Here's why: I found out on 12-12 (12+12=24) that the weekend thorn in my side at work is leaving on the 22nd. This is the girl who just doesn't get it and has complained to me since I've been here about how the job isn't what she thought and how much she really doesn't like the management and blah blah blah. She also stands at my desk waiting for scripts. As in, leans on my cubicle wall and just says, "Well, if you don't have the teases written, I guess I'll just bug you until you're done with them." One of the most contradictory thoughts ever.
Woody has grown to feel my pain with her as well. And as he put it, "Good riddance." I won't let it get that strong, but I'll put it in head coach news conference terms... "We're glad that she's moved on. We feel it's best for both parties and that both sides will benefit from the move. Hopefully we can move on from here and make a smooth transition."
I'm taking Miami by default. I don't really hate Renaldo Hill, but I was a fan of San Fran RB Michael Robinson when he was in college at Penn State. For one week though, I'll hate Renaldo Hill. He's a temporary fill-in for Pac Man Jones.
Seattle (-3) @ St. Louis -- SEA
Mike Holmgren has been my go-to joke this year. But the joke in this game is the Rams, as a team.
Washington (-6.5) @ Cincinnati -- WASH
Not a good year to be a large cat (except a Panther) -- Bengals, Lions, Jaguars.
Tennessee (-3) @ Houston -- TENN
They're still battling for home field advantage for the playoffs. Last week at the Packers-Texans game some dude had an old-school Houston Oilers winter coat on. My first thought was Warren Moon. My second was Earl Campbell.
By the way, straight from Warren Moon's wikipedia page: "It was only in 1986 when Oilers head coach Jerry Glanville found ways to best utilize Moon's strong arm that he began having success."
Frickin' chicken wings and developing quarterbacks. What CAN'T Jerry Glanville do?
Detroit @ Indianapolis (-17) -- INDY
The Val-uable Pick of the Week (from my sister, a new addition): I told her the line and said to pick based on Vegas-style betting (making sure she understood why I told her who was favored). Her response:
Indy over Det 34-13. I don't know what vegas style means except "you might lose money but at least the drinks are comped."
Never woulda guessed we were brother and sister haha.
And this text reminded me of my only trip to Vegas when I got tipped $50 at the craps table because I was rolling big for one guy at the other end of the table. I continually referred to him as "brotha" for the entire time I was there. As in, "Whatchu want me to roll for ya this time brotha?" and "I'll roll anything my brotha down there wants me to roll. Bet with my brotha." I was about 4 beers and 3 Jack-and-cokes into the evening. It was terrific.
For the rest of the year, I hope to call Daunte Culpepper "brotha." -- "Throw it brotha!" has a great ring to it.
Green Bay (-2) @ Jacksonville -- GB
Back the Pack Cause the Pack is Back!
They lost at Lambeau when I was there, so it should only be appropriate that they win out the rest of the year. Plus, that's what they have to do to stay in the division race. I also heard Fred Taylor bet on the Packers. He has nothing better to do now that he's on the IR and possibly done as a Jaguar.
San Diego (-5) @ Kansas City -- SD
High scoring affair. My guess is 41-31. Romeo Crennel will be taking notes on what an offense is. Derek Anderson will be trying to figure out what game the teams are playing. And Norv Turner will be pre-ordering the 17,000 large pizzas needed for the postseason "I swear I got fired because of the nation's financial crisis" party with Romeo.
Buffalo @ New York Jets (-7) -- NYJ
Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week: Taking the 10th game because it's been a long week of 10-hour days.
She says: "Since it s home for bret i ll have to go with jets"
I'm pretty sure she's correctly picked every time she's had the Jets game. I love how she's throwing NFL knowledge around now. This is the point when we made a run last year. Together, we start the bus.
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore (-2) -- PITT
This comes down to who has the better offense as both teams have really tough defenses. Joe Flacco has a lot on his shoulders. He also has a great name that Scott van Pelt says in a hilarious way.
Denver @ Carolina (-7.5) -- CAR
The fact that the Panthers have two running backs tearing it up lately is just a laugh in the face to the Denver Broncos, who are supposed to be the ones known for having an "anyone can run for 100 yards in this offense" reputation. How truly lame does that last-play win against the Chargers in week one look now? And just to make this pick clear, I'm going with DeAngelo Williams, NOT with Jake "of the man."
Minnesota @ Arizona (-3) -- ARI
The Vikings won't win on the road away from the Triple H Dome. Speaking of Triple H, what the hell happened to Sting, Luke? Well, I tried to find out by looking on his wikipedia page...
I apologize if you contributed any information to the site, but reading that page is almost more ridiculous than anything ever. It's like talking to the people who believe that the WWE is real and stuff. Anyways, Steve Borden (aka Sting) is a born again Christian who has two sons and a daughter. His signature/finishing moves included the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) and the Scorpion Death Lock. His entrance music was "Slay Me" by Dale Oliver (how less appropriate could that name be to the name of the song?).
New England (-7) @ Oakland -- NE
Al Davis is just going to ask Bill Belichick how to cheat his way to success. Belichick, the sneaky man he is, will tell Davis that if he loses his walker, he can actually fly. Davis will attempt to fly to Hawaii, but will only fall off the side of a building. But he won't die -- Al Davis cannot be killed.
New York Giants @ Dallas (-3) -- DAL
The Giants are banged up. And the Cowboys realize they're on the brink of not making the playoffs. They'll be more motivated than Paul Nyhart freshman year at WOUB.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 15TH
Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-14) -- CLE
I don't know what is even going on with this team. But after the Indians signed Kerry Wood to be the closer, I realized I'm not really ready to move on to the next team yet. And Notre Dame lost to Ohio State in basketball already. I'm going to try having people over to the apartment for food and drinks during this game, just so I'm not drinking alone on my couch. How many primetime games do the Browns get next year? My guess is one.
Side note to this game: Has there ever been a better example of why NBC should do "The Biggest Loser: NFL Coaches Edition" ? I'm legitimately scared that Monday will actually have fewer daylight hours because the weight concentrated in Philadelphia will cause the earth to stop come game time. President Bush will demand that Romeo be fired during the game so that he can be sent out of Philly and restore the hours back to normal.
And if you thought you were getting out of a "Philadelphia" movie reference this week, you were wrong. Check out the page for the man listed as "hospital patient," Freddie Foxxx. It's not a typo, his name has 3 x's. He's also known as "Bumpy Knuckles" and is a rapper/music producer. 13 years after his appearace in Philadelphia, Foxxx was a part of WWE SmackDown! vs. Raw with his smash hit "Bang Bang." It's actually awful, listen for yourself."
Po's Knowledge Dropping- Week 14 in Review
"MOST DOMINANT: Ben Woodside
Walt Harris hit a running five-foot jumper with 4.4 seconds left in the third overtime to give Stephen F. Austin a 112-111 victory over North Dakota State last night (Friday) in college basketball. Everyone is probably asking themselves...why the hell do I care about that? Well what ND State guard Ben Woodside accomplished is the reason this game is on most dominant.
Woodside set NDSU and Summit League records with 60 points, 30 free throws made, and 35 free-throw attempts.His 30 free throws tied the NCAA single-game record set by LSU's Pete Maravich in December 1969 against Oregon State. He also surpassed Davidson guard Stephen Curry for most points in a game this season, as Curry held the previous high scoring 44 pts in two different games this year. Yes, amazingly Woodside's team still lost the game.
Other recieving votes for most dominant: Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy creator)
Not only does he have one of the funniest shows on TV with Family Guy, but now he has made a skit of Super Mario Bros. which has recieved over 8 million views on youtube and is one of the most talked about videos today. See for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnRfCR0y38Y
LEAST DOMINANT: Tomy Romo
Since the Steelers seem to play the national broadcast (4:15pm kickoff) game every single week due to having the NFL's toughest schedule since 1976, I'm sure many people saw the collapse of the Dallas Cowboys this past Sunday. There was no happier guy in the world than the guy currently writing this sentence. The Steelers are my most loved team in the world, while the Cowboys are my most hated. Down 13-3 and having just watched the Cowboys make a goal-line stand with just 8 minutes to go I figured the game was over. But knowing Tony Romo's history of choking I never gave up on it. Sure enough the Steelers defense barely allowed the Cowboys to gain even 1 yd in the 4th quarter. The great defense combined with Romo's 3rd INT of the game left Dallas with an epic 4th quarter collapse. The Steelers outscored the Cowboys 17-0 in the 4th quarter and left Romo thinking back to his days in Seattle when he couldnt even hold on to a FG attempt.
When the Cowboys were up 13-3 I recieved numerous calls and text messages saying "HERE WE GO COWBOYS HERE WE GO." Its amazing how many dumb people there are out there who have no idea the power of a jinx. So for everyone who was dumb enough to start running their mouth with 8 minutes to go in an NFL game..."HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!"
I found a youtube video from some of my fellow Steelers fans and found it hilarious. Mainly because it is the exact atmosphere I sat through for the game. Hope you enjoy. Peace. Go Steelers. Go Cavs... hopefully ill be able to squeeze the Cavs in here on most dominant in the next 2 weeks or so because right now at a record of (20-3) they look very dominant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqRs6yBZtBE"
JOSH: ATL, MIA, STL, CIN, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
LUCIUS: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE (he wanted all favorites who were favored by nine points or less, and all underdogs who were getting more than nine points)
DEVIN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
LUKE: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, DAL, PHI
JUSTIN: ATL, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, OAK, DAL, CLE
BRIAN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, KC, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
SHANE: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE
KEVIN: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE
POLITO: ALL THE HOME TEAMS
CHEWY: TB, SF, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
BART: ALL THE HOME TEAMS
BURSA: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI
GROTHAUS: WELCOME BACK!! - ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, CLE
RAPKING: TB, MIA, STL, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
SARA: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
JEFF: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
JAKE: ATL, SF, SEA, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, CAR, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI
CURTIS: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE
BRAVES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK OR PROBABLY FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON
BARNES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK - BUSY PUTTING HIS X-MAS TREE TOGETHER
There ya go, best of luck to everyone this week. A special good luck to all of those who are in the fantasy football playoffs. I hope you win until you face me. Go Browns.
Read it, roll it, hole it.
It's fantasy football playoff time.
Luckily for the KOA, we made the playoffs in all three of our fantasy football leagues. We are also in a solid position to make money in this pick 'em league. It creates a tremendous and constant conflict of interest. All of a sudden, with hundreds of dollars at stake, my mind can't process the information. I might need the Giants to win by seven, but no touchdowns by Brandon Jacobs. I might need Kurt Warner to throw three touchdowns, but not outscore their opponent by more than a field goal.
It's complicated and oftentimes confusing, but it's what we play for when we sign up for all of these leagues. We want this drama. It makes every game, every play important. I wouldn't want it any other way. May the best teams win.
Not too many comments this week, so this column will take the same shape of last week's. Jake Young, Kevin Hunt, and Ryan Polito are the week fifteen contributors. Giddy up.
JAKE YOUNG'S LOTTO-SYSTEM OF PICKING WINNERS
For some strange reason this week, Jake's comments had trouble appearing on the KOA, the formatting wouldn't cooperate with us. So, please check out Jake's blog on our sidebar to see how exactly he came up with his winners this week.
KEVIN HUNT'S START THE BUS COLUMN
"Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (-3) -- ATL
The pirates who stole the ship are giving in. And I just can't see Jeff Garcia leading a team to two straight playoff appearances -- sorry I have to say it Devin.
And for the football knowledge side -- did you see what the Panthers running backs did to the Bucs last week?! Jon Gruden, meet Michael Turner.
San Francisco @ Miami (-6.5) -- MIA
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: Taking the 3rd game (because I just made $300 in school loan payments) -- going with the team whose #24 I hate more.
Here's why: I found out on 12-12 (12+12=24) that the weekend thorn in my side at work is leaving on the 22nd. This is the girl who just doesn't get it and has complained to me since I've been here about how the job isn't what she thought and how much she really doesn't like the management and blah blah blah. She also stands at my desk waiting for scripts. As in, leans on my cubicle wall and just says, "Well, if you don't have the teases written, I guess I'll just bug you until you're done with them." One of the most contradictory thoughts ever.
Woody has grown to feel my pain with her as well. And as he put it, "Good riddance." I won't let it get that strong, but I'll put it in head coach news conference terms... "We're glad that she's moved on. We feel it's best for both parties and that both sides will benefit from the move. Hopefully we can move on from here and make a smooth transition."
I'm taking Miami by default. I don't really hate Renaldo Hill, but I was a fan of San Fran RB Michael Robinson when he was in college at Penn State. For one week though, I'll hate Renaldo Hill. He's a temporary fill-in for Pac Man Jones.
Seattle (-3) @ St. Louis -- SEA
Mike Holmgren has been my go-to joke this year. But the joke in this game is the Rams, as a team.
Washington (-6.5) @ Cincinnati -- WASH
Not a good year to be a large cat (except a Panther) -- Bengals, Lions, Jaguars.
Tennessee (-3) @ Houston -- TENN
They're still battling for home field advantage for the playoffs. Last week at the Packers-Texans game some dude had an old-school Houston Oilers winter coat on. My first thought was Warren Moon. My second was Earl Campbell.
By the way, straight from Warren Moon's wikipedia page: "It was only in 1986 when Oilers head coach Jerry Glanville found ways to best utilize Moon's strong arm that he began having success."
Frickin' chicken wings and developing quarterbacks. What CAN'T Jerry Glanville do?
Detroit @ Indianapolis (-17) -- INDY
The Val-uable Pick of the Week (from my sister, a new addition): I told her the line and said to pick based on Vegas-style betting (making sure she understood why I told her who was favored). Her response:
Indy over Det 34-13. I don't know what vegas style means except "you might lose money but at least the drinks are comped."
Never woulda guessed we were brother and sister haha.
And this text reminded me of my only trip to Vegas when I got tipped $50 at the craps table because I was rolling big for one guy at the other end of the table. I continually referred to him as "brotha" for the entire time I was there. As in, "Whatchu want me to roll for ya this time brotha?" and "I'll roll anything my brotha down there wants me to roll. Bet with my brotha." I was about 4 beers and 3 Jack-and-cokes into the evening. It was terrific.
For the rest of the year, I hope to call Daunte Culpepper "brotha." -- "Throw it brotha!" has a great ring to it.
Green Bay (-2) @ Jacksonville -- GB
Back the Pack Cause the Pack is Back!
They lost at Lambeau when I was there, so it should only be appropriate that they win out the rest of the year. Plus, that's what they have to do to stay in the division race. I also heard Fred Taylor bet on the Packers. He has nothing better to do now that he's on the IR and possibly done as a Jaguar.
San Diego (-5) @ Kansas City -- SD
High scoring affair. My guess is 41-31. Romeo Crennel will be taking notes on what an offense is. Derek Anderson will be trying to figure out what game the teams are playing. And Norv Turner will be pre-ordering the 17,000 large pizzas needed for the postseason "I swear I got fired because of the nation's financial crisis" party with Romeo.
Buffalo @ New York Jets (-7) -- NYJ
Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week: Taking the 10th game because it's been a long week of 10-hour days.
She says: "Since it s home for bret i ll have to go with jets"
I'm pretty sure she's correctly picked every time she's had the Jets game. I love how she's throwing NFL knowledge around now. This is the point when we made a run last year. Together, we start the bus.
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore (-2) -- PITT
This comes down to who has the better offense as both teams have really tough defenses. Joe Flacco has a lot on his shoulders. He also has a great name that Scott van Pelt says in a hilarious way.
Denver @ Carolina (-7.5) -- CAR
The fact that the Panthers have two running backs tearing it up lately is just a laugh in the face to the Denver Broncos, who are supposed to be the ones known for having an "anyone can run for 100 yards in this offense" reputation. How truly lame does that last-play win against the Chargers in week one look now? And just to make this pick clear, I'm going with DeAngelo Williams, NOT with Jake "of the man."
Minnesota @ Arizona (-3) -- ARI
The Vikings won't win on the road away from the Triple H Dome. Speaking of Triple H, what the hell happened to Sting, Luke? Well, I tried to find out by looking on his wikipedia page...
I apologize if you contributed any information to the site, but reading that page is almost more ridiculous than anything ever. It's like talking to the people who believe that the WWE is real and stuff. Anyways, Steve Borden (aka Sting) is a born again Christian who has two sons and a daughter. His signature/finishing moves included the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) and the Scorpion Death Lock. His entrance music was "Slay Me" by Dale Oliver (how less appropriate could that name be to the name of the song?).
New England (-7) @ Oakland -- NE
Al Davis is just going to ask Bill Belichick how to cheat his way to success. Belichick, the sneaky man he is, will tell Davis that if he loses his walker, he can actually fly. Davis will attempt to fly to Hawaii, but will only fall off the side of a building. But he won't die -- Al Davis cannot be killed.
New York Giants @ Dallas (-3) -- DAL
The Giants are banged up. And the Cowboys realize they're on the brink of not making the playoffs. They'll be more motivated than Paul Nyhart freshman year at WOUB.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 15TH
Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-14) -- CLE
I don't know what is even going on with this team. But after the Indians signed Kerry Wood to be the closer, I realized I'm not really ready to move on to the next team yet. And Notre Dame lost to Ohio State in basketball already. I'm going to try having people over to the apartment for food and drinks during this game, just so I'm not drinking alone on my couch. How many primetime games do the Browns get next year? My guess is one.
Side note to this game: Has there ever been a better example of why NBC should do "The Biggest Loser: NFL Coaches Edition" ? I'm legitimately scared that Monday will actually have fewer daylight hours because the weight concentrated in Philadelphia will cause the earth to stop come game time. President Bush will demand that Romeo be fired during the game so that he can be sent out of Philly and restore the hours back to normal.
And if you thought you were getting out of a "Philadelphia" movie reference this week, you were wrong. Check out the page for the man listed as "hospital patient," Freddie Foxxx. It's not a typo, his name has 3 x's. He's also known as "Bumpy Knuckles" and is a rapper/music producer. 13 years after his appearace in Philadelphia, Foxxx was a part of WWE SmackDown! vs. Raw with his smash hit "Bang Bang." It's actually awful, listen for yourself."
RYAN POLITO'S "PO KNOWLEDGE DROPPING"
Po's Knowledge Dropping- Week 14 in Review
"MOST DOMINANT: Ben Woodside
Walt Harris hit a running five-foot jumper with 4.4 seconds left in the third overtime to give Stephen F. Austin a 112-111 victory over North Dakota State last night (Friday) in college basketball. Everyone is probably asking themselves...why the hell do I care about that? Well what ND State guard Ben Woodside accomplished is the reason this game is on most dominant.
Woodside set NDSU and Summit League records with 60 points, 30 free throws made, and 35 free-throw attempts.His 30 free throws tied the NCAA single-game record set by LSU's Pete Maravich in December 1969 against Oregon State. He also surpassed Davidson guard Stephen Curry for most points in a game this season, as Curry held the previous high scoring 44 pts in two different games this year. Yes, amazingly Woodside's team still lost the game.
Other recieving votes for most dominant: Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy creator)
Not only does he have one of the funniest shows on TV with Family Guy, but now he has made a skit of Super Mario Bros. which has recieved over 8 million views on youtube and is one of the most talked about videos today. See for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnRfCR0y38Y
LEAST DOMINANT: Tomy Romo
Since the Steelers seem to play the national broadcast (4:15pm kickoff) game every single week due to having the NFL's toughest schedule since 1976, I'm sure many people saw the collapse of the Dallas Cowboys this past Sunday. There was no happier guy in the world than the guy currently writing this sentence. The Steelers are my most loved team in the world, while the Cowboys are my most hated. Down 13-3 and having just watched the Cowboys make a goal-line stand with just 8 minutes to go I figured the game was over. But knowing Tony Romo's history of choking I never gave up on it. Sure enough the Steelers defense barely allowed the Cowboys to gain even 1 yd in the 4th quarter. The great defense combined with Romo's 3rd INT of the game left Dallas with an epic 4th quarter collapse. The Steelers outscored the Cowboys 17-0 in the 4th quarter and left Romo thinking back to his days in Seattle when he couldnt even hold on to a FG attempt.
When the Cowboys were up 13-3 I recieved numerous calls and text messages saying "HERE WE GO COWBOYS HERE WE GO." Its amazing how many dumb people there are out there who have no idea the power of a jinx. So for everyone who was dumb enough to start running their mouth with 8 minutes to go in an NFL game..."HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!"
I found a youtube video from some of my fellow Steelers fans and found it hilarious. Mainly because it is the exact atmosphere I sat through for the game. Hope you enjoy. Peace. Go Steelers. Go Cavs... hopefully ill be able to squeeze the Cavs in here on most dominant in the next 2 weeks or so because right now at a record of (20-3) they look very dominant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqRs6yBZtBE"
AND NOW ON TO OUR PICKS
JOSH: ATL, MIA, STL, CIN, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
LUCIUS: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE (he wanted all favorites who were favored by nine points or less, and all underdogs who were getting more than nine points)
DEVIN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
LUKE: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, DAL, PHI
JUSTIN: ATL, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, OAK, DAL, CLE
BRIAN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, KC, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
SHANE: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE
KEVIN: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE
POLITO: ALL THE HOME TEAMS
CHEWY: TB, SF, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
BART: ALL THE HOME TEAMS
BURSA: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI
GROTHAUS: WELCOME BACK!! - ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, CLE
RAPKING: TB, MIA, STL, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE
SARA: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
JEFF: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI
JAKE: ATL, SF, SEA, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, CAR, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI
CURTIS: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE
BRAVES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK OR PROBABLY FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON
BARNES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK - BUSY PUTTING HIS X-MAS TREE TOGETHER
There ya go, best of luck to everyone this week. A special good luck to all of those who are in the fantasy football playoffs. I hope you win until you face me. Go Browns.
Read it, roll it, hole it.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
KOA Reviews LOST: Season One, Episode Four - WALKABOUT
The Losties are beginning to settle in on the island and attempting to forge relationships with one another. The U.S. Marshall is now dead, after Sawyer shot him to relieve him from his pain. However, something is going on with this Locke character? Something is going on with him.Season One - Episode Four- WALKABOUT
SYNOPSIS
Flashback to Locke's life before Flight 815: his job, time in Australia, the crash...and a major secret is revealed. The camp is invaded and Sawyer's scavenging falls under scrutiny. Food runs out and Locke comes up with a solution. Jack organizes the handling of the dead and a memorial service is arranged. Rose has everyone concerned. When Boone and Shannon end up at odds, Shannon enlists Charlie's help just to spite Boone. Sun strikes up a friendship with Walt. Michael and Kate escape something in the jungle.
MY TAKE (88/100)
This just might be one of my favorite episodes. It has everything you could possibly ask for in a LOST episode. It has mystery, a great flashback, drama, and a handful of humor thrown in as well. When I was watching LOST for the first time, this episode stood out, and had me more than intrigued as what was going on. In season one, it is obvious, stuff goes down when John Locke is involved.
FLASHBACK STORY LINE (15/15)Good flashbacks have a connection to what is going on with the island. Great flashbacks do more. They tell a separate story, but then transition it to the island, typically seamlessly. This is what happens in Walkabout with Locke. We see him working at a dead-end job (it appears) and taking crap from his boss. Locke continually mentions this walkabout deal, and it all leads up to the end when he is finally told he cannot go by the head walkabout guy. The big surprise will be discussed later, but the transition occurs with Locke's line, "Don't tell me what I can't do."
ACTING (15/15)
It's all about John Locke (Terry O'Quinn), and even though he did not win any awards for this performance, he most certainly should have. O'Quinn does not give away his secret throughout the episode, and the passionate way he talks about the walkabout, you begin to emphasize with him. You feel bad that he believes some girl on the phone he pays to talk to, doesn't like him the way he likes her. He is mysterious yet strangely reliable. Top notch performance.
ADVANCE OF STORY (13/15)Had lots of stuff going down in this episode. There is the fuselage being burnt. Sayid trying to triangulate the signal he heard from the transceiver. We have Kate, Locke and Michael going out on a boar hunt, and Locke coming back with the goods. We see that Jack has some issues with leadership as well. The LOST story is officially in motion.
KEY MOMENT (10/10)
There is no question as to what the key moment here was. It was the big surprise that was revealed at the end. More to come.
SHOCK VALUE (10/10)
Plenty to talk about here as well. There are the boar's at the very beginning that come out of the fuselage. We hear the monster again, and this time it is coming right at Locke and appears to get right in his face, but does not hurt him at all. And then there is the ending to consider. Bonus points would have been allotted, if allowed here.
ISLAND MYSTERY (7/10)Any time the monster comes out, this category gets some points. The rest come from Jack seeing a strange figure out in the distance. It appears to be someone he is familiar with as he goes chasing after it the second time he sees it. And another mysterious element to the island is added.
LOSTIES UNITED (7/10)Everyone gathers to hear the noise from the fuselage at the beginning, but it doesn't have much to do with unity of the Losties. However, the scene that sticks out is when Locke throws the knife right next to Sawyer. Jack turns and says, "You either have great aim, or lousy aim." On the flip side, Hurley and Charlie get together for the first time, as they begin a long series of comical moments. This one involved them trying to catch some fish.
THE END (5/5)
THE END (5/5)Okay, the ending. The big shocker. Here we go. Locke was in a wheel-chair before the crash. Before the crash he was paralyzed. He couldn't walk. But, after the plane crashes he can now miraculously walk. Incredible. You get the sense that this is truly a special place. Walkabout ends with Locke smiling while looking at the wheel-chair off in the distance. Did I say incredible already?
HUMOR (3/5)Sawyer comes up with a great line at the beginning. When Jack assumes that Sawyer is the one in the fuselage causing the disturbance, Sawyer comes behind Jack and says, "Right behind ya Doc ... jack-ass." The entire Charlie-Hurley sequence of catching fish was great as well.
OTHER INTANGIBLES (3/5)The entire Locke-wheel-chair-can walk revelation had outstanding music behind it. Besides that, there was Charlie getting used by Shannon to catch fish, which really didn't serve a purpose. Rose believes her husband is still alive, but it seems like a pipe-dream at this point in time.
- BEST QUOTE - Locke (telling the others how they will solve the food problem, right after throwing a knife towards Sawyer), "We hunt."
We have White Rabbit coming up next.
"See ya in another life brotha."
KOA Reviews LOST: Season One, Episode Three -TABULA RASA
We last left with Charlie wondering out loud where exactly they were and the U.S. Marshall in serious pain. Some of the Losties now know that their transceiver is being blocked by a French lady who has been sending a repeating message, on a loop, for about 16 years.Season One - Episode Three - TABULA RASA
SYNOPSIS
The U.S. marshal's assignment is revealed. Later, there is a difference of opinion between Jack and Sawyer as to how to help the critically injured marshal. Flashback to what Kate was doing in Australia. Scenes of the crash from Kate's POV. The people on the trek return to the survivor's base and decide to hide the information to preserve the hope of the group. Locke later extends an act of kindness toward Michael that may help the father-son relationship. Sayid makes a bid to organize some island committees.
MY TAKE (62/100)
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed parts of this episode, but it seemed to lack substance. My favorite parts were a couple quotes that I didn't catch the first or even second time around. The decision to not tell everyone the message on the transceiver makes sense, especially because they really don't understand it. Michael continues to make me scratch my head, as he forbids Walt to stop talking with Locke for some unknown reason. Looking back, this entire episode acts as a set-up to the next one, with several sly references. The biggest thing that hurt Tabula Rasa is that there was no island mystery, absolutely none. However, the ending is one of my all-time favorites, and for the first time in this process, deserves bonus points.
FLASHBACK STORY LINE (12/15)On the surface Kate's flashback of her time working on a farm in Australia seems worthless, but we actually learn a tremendous amount about her character. She is on the run for some reason and obviously wanted by the cops. However, even after she learns that she was turned into the police by the person who actually took her in off the streets, she still manages to save him from a car wreck. This move ultimately costs Kate her freedom as the U.S. Marshall tracks her down and takes her from Australia, back to the U.S. Or so we thought until the plane crashed.
ACTING (9/15)Kate was the main character, and her performance was okay, nothing special. Jack and Sawyer played off each other well, and Walt did a good job in his limited role. This Jack/Sawyer relationship gets plenty of play throughout the series, but kicks off in fine fashion in Tabula Rasa.
ADVANCE OF STORY (9/15)
We begin to see that there will be two distinct story lines being brought to our attention. The first has to deal with the mystery of the island, and the second deals with the interaction of the Losties themselves. In Tabula Rasa we see the latter beginning to develop. Michael accidentally runs into Sun while she is naked. Locke finds Vincent (Walt's dog) by making his own dog whistle. Jack and Kate have another talk, this time Jack telling her that he doesn't care what she did to deserve handcuffs. Not a tremendous amount of advancement to the island mystery (actually there is zero), but the set-up of a completely different line of stories deserves some points.
KEY MOMENT (3/10)
Tough to find in this episode. One thought process could be that the ending told the entire story, but they would be wrong. After taking some time to consider, the key moment here has to be when Sawyer shoots the U.S. Marshall in an attempt to alleviate him from his pain. We now see the distinct difference between Sawyer and Jack for the first time. It's lacking, but it still is the defining moment of this episode.
SHOCK VALUE (5/10)The only real shocker in this episode was when the U.S. Marshall woke up with Kate still in the tent. Of course the Marshall attempts to strangle Kate, but she is saved by Jack. The other eye-popping event was when the Marshall was still alive after Sawyer shot him in the chest.
ISLAND MYSTERY (2/10)Because I hate giving nothing during this Christmas season.
LOSTIES UNITED (8/10)
You can get a sense at the beginning of the episode that this group is still at odds with one another. However, as the episode moves along (especially at the end), you get a sense of togetherness. We see the start of the Charlie-Claire relationship. We also see Sayid starting to take charge and try to organize everyone. He's so smart. Most of the points come from the incredible ending.
THE END (8/5)If Tabula Rasa is to be remembered for anything, it should be it's ending. Hurley puts on his headphones and Ted Purdy's "Wash Away," begins to play. Then, in a series of slow moving events, you start to see the connection these Losties are making with each other and themselves as well. Sayid tosses Sawyer an apple, which was terrific. Walt gets Vincent back after Locke showed Michael where he was. Boone gives Shannon some trendy sunglasses. It may seem mundane, but the way the music and the shots are filmed, it's aboslutely perfect.
HUMOR (1/5)Only part that made me laught was seeing Hurley run away from Kate. Hurley doesn't run through the jungle too often, but he likes to run on the beach more so than any other character. It's always comical.
OTHER INTANGIBLES (5/5)For the first time we get the announcer saying before the start of the show, "Previously on LOST," which becomes one of its' staples. We hear Ted Purdy's "Wash Away" and we have Jack telling Kate, "I'm not a murderer," which is interesting for those of you who have watched season four.
- BEST QUOTE - Sayid (tellling the others on the trek not to share this information with those still on the beach), "Hope is a very dangerous thing to lose."
We have Walkabout coming up next.
"See ya in another life brotha."
Monday, December 08, 2008
KOA Reviews LOST: Season One, Episode Two - PILOT PART TWO
We left with the Losties still trying to figure bedroom arrangements back at the beach, with Charlie, Kate and Jack finding the pilot dead up a tree. Before the pilot left for good, he was able to give a transceiver (glorified radio) to the trio.Season One - Episode Two - PILOT (PART TWO)
SYNOPSIS
Jack, Kate and Charlie return to the group, but the transceiver is broken. Sayid Jarrah fixes the apparatus and organizes an expedition with Kate, Charlie, Shannon Rutherford and her brother Boone Carlyle and the dangerous James "Sawyer" Ford to hike and climb a mountain to transmit a SOS. The group receives a sixteen years old distress call from a French woman in the island instead and kills a polar bear.
MY TAKE (84/100)Enjoyed the second half of the pilot a tad more than its predecessor. It had more unity between the Losties. One could sense the beginning of the story developing after watching this episode. We start to learn more about the characters persona, and lastly, this episode made me laugh a bit more as well.
FLASHBACK STORY LINE (13/15)
This episode had two separate flashbacks, as it showed the plane crash from Charlie and Kate's perspective. We see that Charlie has developed a tad of a drug habit, and we find out that Kate was the criminal in handcuffs. The best thing I liked about these flashbacks is when Charlie runs by Jack on the plane. We saw it from Jack's perspective in the first episode, and I loved how they came back to this brief moment and saw it from Charlie's. This is a terrific element of LOST that is used throughout the series.
ACTING (13/15)More people were involved, and one person, Sayid (Naveen Andrews) thrived. Even though he wasn't the main character, he stole the show. He gives a comical look during the Shannon-Boone fight and shows true leadership throughout. Loses a couple points for Michael screaming about Walt. It's only been two episodes, but Michael is already starting to bug me ... again.
ADVANCE OF STORY (10/15)
The story really doesn't advance too much in this episode. Rather, it is created. There is the radio signal trek involving Shannon, Sayid, Boone, Kate, Sawyer, and Charlie. There is the guy with a piece of shrapnel stuck in his side. There is Locke telling Walt he has a secret. You get a sense of what direction this story is going to go, but to say it advances, well that would be incorrect.
KEY MOMENT FACTOR (7/10)
This episode lacks one true defining moment, and when push comes to shove, it has to be the ending, which we will get to in a bit.
SHOCK VALUE (9/10)
So as the Losties are treking through the jungle they hear another noise, but this time it is in the form of a polar bear. That's right ... a polar bear in the jungle. Luckily, Sawyer pulled a gun from the U.S. Marshall after the crash and shoots the bear. Who saw that coming? Also, we learn that Kate is the criminal in discuss, which is surprising considering all the better candidates that were out there.
ISLAND MYSTERY (9/10)The first mystery comes from Walt finding a pair of handcuffs, but we later learn that they belong to the U.S. Marshall and used to be around the wrists of Kate. The shooting of a Polar Bear in the jungle brings to question where exactly this island is. Also, the ending of this episode is surrounded in island mystery. Add those up, and you have a fairly mysterious episode.
LOSTIES UNITED (10/10)
Loved this episode for all of the uniting the Losties did. Sayid and Sawyer get into a fight, but later, when Sayid is fixing the transceiver, Hurley enters. Sayid and Hurley share a moment getting to know each other, which is one of my favorite scenes. Jin goes around and hands out some fish, and when Claire eats some she feels the baby kick for the first time since the crash. Also, Walt and Locke talk about backgammon, which is the first time we hear Locke talk the entire series. Lots of stuff fell under this category. Would have given bonus points, if allowed.
THE ENDING (5/5)So, the Losties who are in the jungle finally get to a point where they can try the transceiver. It works, and for a moment it appears someone is talking to them. But they are mistaken. Sayid informs the group that something is blocking the transceiver from sending out a message because another message is currently being sent from the island. They listen to a French lady (Shannon translates) call for help. The French lady says everyone is dead, and she is all alone. The message is being played on a loop, which Sayid quickly calculates has been playing for more than fifteen years. The last line comes from Charlie who asks what everyone is thinking, "Where Are We?"
HUMOR (5/5)Sawyer also gets his first speaking lines in this episode and does not disappoint. He begins dishing out his nicknames, calling Hurley "lardo" and Jack "Doc." Hurley provides a comical relief moment when he passess out from all the blood during the removal of the sharpnel procedure. The scene that had me laughing the most was when Sawyer was gave the line regarding the "bear village." It was perfect. Lots of laughs to be had on this episode.
OTHER INTANGIBLES (5/5)
- MUSIC - We hear the "Trek" music, which plays from time to time throughout the series when the Losties are running through the jungle, for the first time. It's a cornerstone of LOST.
- BEST QUOTE - Charlie (at the very end, after they realize some French lady has been on the island for 16 years and everyone she knew was dead), "Where are we?"
- REASONS - We get to see how much of a hottie Shannon and Kate are, which is a plus. It shows that LOST definitely has a sexy side to it as well. Meanwhile Charlie continually busts out one-liners. His "I'm definitely going," remark when learning that Shannon was going on the trek was well-placed.
We will be back tomorrow with reviews for Tabula Rosa and Walkabout. Don't miss it."See ya in another life brotha."
KOA Reviews LOST: Season One, Episode One - PILOT PART ONE
This is the beginning of an incredibly long, but rewarding experience.
Reviewing the LOST episodes from the first four seasons.
For those of you new to LOST, let me warn you, there WILL BE SPOILERS. But, if you don't feel like watching all the episodes, maybe this can act as a the cliff notes version for you. For the rest of us, who have watched every single episode of LOST, and are anxiously counting down the days for its return, this should act merely as a refresher.
Please send feedback on whether or not you enjoyed that particular episode and if the KOA was too harsh or too loose with the points distribution. Those comments will be featured in the upcoming reviews.
Here we go, a review of LOST. One episode at a time.
Season One - Episode One - PILOT (PART ONE)
SYNOPSIS
Forty-eight survivors of an airline flight originating from Australia, bound for the U.S., which crash-lands onto an unknown island 1000 miles off course, struggle to figure out a way to survive, why trying to find a way to be rescued.
MY TAKE (80/100)
The very first episode of LOST. As with the entire first season, I watched this episode in the Franks' basement. It certainly had its' moments, and needless to say, it had me intrigued right off the bat. The very first scene is a zoom out from Jack's eye, and to this day, after four seasons, is still surrounded in mystery. How did Jack get all the way out to the jungle? Are we missing something?
FLASHBACK STORY LINE (8/15)This episode does not have much of a story line, but still deserves some points for showing the plane crash from Jack's perspective. However, besides showing us that Jack likes his drinks strong, it really doesn't provide much insight into Jack's character or persona.
ACTING (10/15)
Thought Hurley (Jorge Garcia) and Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) were outstanding in their limited roles. Loses some valuable points during the Jack/Kate "fear" talk. Didn't seem believable, and appeared to be forced.
ADVANCE OF OVERALL STORY (13/15)Since this episode is the one that kicked it all off, it almost gets maximum points. It introduces us to several plot lines. The asian couple (Sun/Jin) seem to have problems. Michael is already screaming for "WAAAAAALT." There is a pregnant lady (Claire). Lots of stuff going on, and this episode just begins to scratch at the surface of it all. Oh yeah, and there's that incredibly loud noise from the jungle we hear for the first time as well. More to come later.
KEY MOMENT FACTOR (10/10)
It was one of two moments that I starred for this episode. Getting a star means it is one of my favorite memories from LOST. The one that gets mention here is when there is a loud noise coming from the jungle. It is knocking over massive trees and appears to be headed toward the Losties. We don't see it, but what we do see is all the Losties gathering together in fear. Terrific moment.
SHOCK VALUE (10/10)
There is no question that the introduction of the "monster" in the jungle gets all 10 points. Not only do we hear it once when everyone is at the beach, but we hear it a second time when Jack, Kate and Charlie go running through the jungle looking for the cockpit. This time however the monster reaches in to the plane and kills the pilot, leaving him dead and bloodied, 40 feet up a tree. This is the definition of shocking.
ISLAND MYSTERY (10/10)It's all about the monster in this episode, but as we will learn as we go on, it's one of the island's biggest mysteries. Ten points for not only introducing us to it, but showing what it is capable of as well.
LOSTIES UNITED (8/10)
In this episode the Losties are seen as more seperate individuals at the beginning, who are slowly starting to come together. Hurley hands Claire an extra meal from the plane because she is nursing. Charlie, Jack and Kate go running through the jungle, but it seemed force, especially with it happening the day after hearing that terrifying monster the night before.
THE END (4/5)The last shot is of the dead pilot sprawled out on some branches way up a tree. And while it is a gut-wrenching shot, it doesn't get the maximum points. Now, had they stopped the episode after the pilot was yanked out of the plane, now that would have had me wanting more. After the pilot never came back, it was easily assumed he was a dead man.
HUMOR (2/5)Not a lot of humor in this episode. Charlie tells Kate that he is fine when Kate is showering Jack with affection. Hurley's line of "you've got to be kidding me," was great, but not outstanding. This episode was about introductions and survivial. Not too much time for laughs.
OTHER INTANGIBLES (5/5)
- MUSIC - It was great, as it typically is with LOST. It fit perfectly and added drama to an already dramatic episode.
- BEST QUOTE - Charlie (after hearing the monster in the jungle for the first time) "Terrific."
- REASONS - Come on, it's the very first episode. It deserves to get all five points.
As we will end every single LOST review, "See ya in another life brotha."
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