2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Fifteen

Rooting is supposed to be easy. You want one team to win, and the other to lose. It's the basis for athletic competition. However, with three weeks to go in the NFL's regular season, several of us are faced with a conflict of interest. Granted, it's been the same conflict of interest the past fourteen weeks, but now, money is up for grabs.

It's fantasy football playoff time.

Luckily for the KOA, we made the playoffs in all three of our fantasy football leagues. We are also in a solid position to make money in this pick 'em league. It creates a tremendous and constant conflict of interest. All of a sudden, with hundreds of dollars at stake, my mind can't process the information. I might need the Giants to win by seven, but no touchdowns by Brandon Jacobs. I might need Kurt Warner to throw three touchdowns, but not outscore their opponent by more than a field goal.

It's complicated and oftentimes confusing, but it's what we play for when we sign up for all of these leagues. We want this drama. It makes every game, every play important. I wouldn't want it any other way. May the best teams win.

Not too many comments this week, so this column will take the same shape of last week's. Jake Young, Kevin Hunt, and Ryan Polito are the week fifteen contributors. Giddy up.

JAKE YOUNG'S LOTTO-SYSTEM OF PICKING WINNERS

For some strange reason this week, Jake's comments had trouble appearing on the KOA, the formatting wouldn't cooperate with us. So, please check out Jake's blog on our sidebar to see how exactly he came up with his winners this week.

KEVIN HUNT'S START THE BUS COLUMN

"Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (-3) -- ATL
The pirates who stole the ship are giving in. And I just can't see Jeff Garcia leading a team to two straight playoff appearances -- sorry I have to say it Devin.

And for the football knowledge side -- did you see what the Panthers running backs did to the Bucs last week?! Jon Gruden, meet Michael Turner.

San Francisco @ Miami (-6.5) -- MIA
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: Taking the 3rd game (because I just made $300 in school loan payments) -- going with the team whose #24 I hate more.

Here's why: I found out on 12-12 (12+12=24) that the weekend thorn in my side at work is leaving on the 22nd. This is the girl who just doesn't get it and has complained to me since I've been here about how the job isn't what she thought and how much she really doesn't like the management and blah blah blah. She also stands at my desk waiting for scripts. As in, leans on my cubicle wall and just says, "Well, if you don't have the teases written, I guess I'll just bug you until you're done with them." One of the most contradictory thoughts ever.

Woody has grown to feel my pain with her as well. And as he put it, "Good riddance." I won't let it get that strong, but I'll put it in head coach news conference terms... "We're glad that she's moved on. We feel it's best for both parties and that both sides will benefit from the move. Hopefully we can move on from here and make a smooth transition."

I'm taking Miami by default. I don't really hate Renaldo Hill, but I was a fan of San Fran RB Michael Robinson when he was in college at Penn State. For one week though, I'll hate Renaldo Hill. He's a temporary fill-in for Pac Man Jones.

Seattle (-3) @ St. Louis -- SEA
Mike Holmgren has been my go-to joke this year. But the joke in this game is the Rams, as a team.

Washington (-6.5) @ Cincinnati -- WASH
Not a good year to be a large cat (except a Panther) -- Bengals, Lions, Jaguars.

Tennessee (-3) @ Houston -- TENN
They're still battling for home field advantage for the playoffs. Last week at the Packers-Texans game some dude had an old-school Houston Oilers winter coat on. My first thought was Warren Moon. My second was Earl Campbell.

By the way, straight from Warren Moon's wikipedia page: "It was only in 1986 when Oilers head coach Jerry Glanville found ways to best utilize Moon's strong arm that he began having success."

Frickin' chicken wings and developing quarterbacks. What CAN'T Jerry Glanville do?

Detroit @ Indianapolis (-17) -- INDY
The Val-uable Pick of the Week (from my sister, a new addition): I told her the line and said to pick based on Vegas-style betting (making sure she understood why I told her who was favored). Her response:

Indy over Det 34-13. I don't know what vegas style means except "you might lose money but at least the drinks are comped."

Never woulda guessed we were brother and sister haha.

And this text reminded me of my only trip to Vegas when I got tipped $50 at the craps table because I was rolling big for one guy at the other end of the table. I continually referred to him as "brotha" for the entire time I was there. As in, "Whatchu want me to roll for ya this time brotha?" and "I'll roll anything my brotha down there wants me to roll. Bet with my brotha." I was about 4 beers and 3 Jack-and-cokes into the evening. It was terrific.

For the rest of the year, I hope to call Daunte Culpepper "brotha." -- "Throw it brotha!" has a great ring to it.

Green Bay (-2) @ Jacksonville -- GB
Back the Pack Cause the Pack is Back!

They lost at Lambeau when I was there, so it should only be appropriate that they win out the rest of the year. Plus, that's what they have to do to stay in the division race. I also heard Fred Taylor bet on the Packers. He has nothing better to do now that he's on the IR and possibly done as a Jaguar.

San Diego (-5) @ Kansas City -- SD
High scoring affair. My guess is 41-31. Romeo Crennel will be taking notes on what an offense is. Derek Anderson will be trying to figure out what game the teams are playing. And Norv Turner will be pre-ordering the 17,000 large pizzas needed for the postseason "I swear I got fired because of the nation's financial crisis" party with Romeo.

Buffalo @ New York Jets (-7) -- NYJ
Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week: Taking the 10th game because it's been a long week of 10-hour days.

She says: "Since it s home for bret i ll have to go with jets"

I'm pretty sure she's correctly picked every time she's had the Jets game. I love how she's throwing NFL knowledge around now. This is the point when we made a run last year. Together, we start the bus.

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore (-2) -- PITT
This comes down to who has the better offense as both teams have really tough defenses. Joe Flacco has a lot on his shoulders. He also has a great name that Scott van Pelt says in a hilarious way.

Denver @ Carolina (-7.5) -- CAR
The fact that the Panthers have two running backs tearing it up lately is just a laugh in the face to the Denver Broncos, who are supposed to be the ones known for having an "anyone can run for 100 yards in this offense" reputation. How truly lame does that last-play win against the Chargers in week one look now? And just to make this pick clear, I'm going with DeAngelo Williams, NOT with Jake "of the man."

Minnesota @ Arizona (-3) -- ARI
The Vikings won't win on the road away from the Triple H Dome. Speaking of Triple H, what the hell happened to Sting, Luke? Well, I tried to find out by looking on his wikipedia page...

I apologize if you contributed any information to the site, but reading that page is almost more ridiculous than anything ever. It's like talking to the people who believe that the WWE is real and stuff. Anyways, Steve Borden (aka Sting) is a born again Christian who has two sons and a daughter. His signature/finishing moves included the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) and the Scorpion Death Lock. His entrance music was "Slay Me" by Dale Oliver (how less appropriate could that name be to the name of the song?).

New England (-7) @ Oakland -- NE
Al Davis is just going to ask Bill Belichick how to cheat his way to success. Belichick, the sneaky man he is, will tell Davis that if he loses his walker, he can actually fly. Davis will attempt to fly to Hawaii, but will only fall off the side of a building. But he won't die -- Al Davis cannot be killed.

New York Giants @ Dallas (-3) -- DAL
The Giants are banged up. And the Cowboys realize they're on the brink of not making the playoffs. They'll be more motivated than Paul Nyhart freshman year at WOUB.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 15TH

Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-14) -- CLE

I don't know what is even going on with this team. But after the Indians signed Kerry Wood to be the closer, I realized I'm not really ready to move on to the next team yet. And Notre Dame lost to Ohio State in basketball already. I'm going to try having people over to the apartment for food and drinks during this game, just so I'm not drinking alone on my couch. How many primetime games do the Browns get next year? My guess is one.

Side note to this game: Has there ever been a better example of why NBC should do "The Biggest Loser: NFL Coaches Edition" ? I'm legitimately scared that Monday will actually have fewer daylight hours because the weight concentrated in Philadelphia will cause the earth to stop come game time. President Bush will demand that Romeo be fired during the game so that he can be sent out of Philly and restore the hours back to normal.

And if you thought you were getting out of a "Philadelphia" movie reference this week, you were wrong. Check out the page for the man listed as "hospital patient," Freddie Foxxx. It's not a typo, his name has 3 x's. He's also known as "Bumpy Knuckles" and is a rapper/music producer. 13 years after his appearace in Philadelphia, Foxxx was a part of WWE SmackDown! vs. Raw with his smash hit "Bang Bang." It's actually awful, listen for yourself."

RYAN POLITO'S "PO KNOWLEDGE DROPPING"

Po's Knowledge Dropping- Week 14 in Review

"MOST DOMINANT: Ben Woodside

Walt Harris hit a running five-foot jumper with 4.4 seconds left in the third overtime to give Stephen F. Austin a 112-111 victory over North Dakota State last night (Friday) in college basketball. Everyone is probably asking themselves...why the hell do I care about that? Well what ND State guard Ben Woodside accomplished is the reason this game is on most dominant.

Woodside set NDSU and Summit League records with 60 points, 30 free throws made, and 35 free-throw attempts.His 30 free throws tied the NCAA single-game record set by LSU's Pete Maravich in December 1969 against Oregon State. He also surpassed Davidson guard Stephen Curry for most points in a game this season, as Curry held the previous high scoring 44 pts in two different games this year. Yes, amazingly Woodside's team still lost the game.

Other recieving votes for most dominant: Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy creator)

Not only does he have one of the funniest shows on TV with Family Guy, but now he has made a skit of Super Mario Bros. which has recieved over 8 million views on youtube and is one of the most talked about videos today. See for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnRfCR0y38Y


LEAST DOMINANT: Tomy Romo

Since the Steelers seem to play the national broadcast (4:15pm kickoff) game every single week due to having the NFL's toughest schedule since 1976, I'm sure many people saw the collapse of the Dallas Cowboys this past Sunday. There was no happier guy in the world than the guy currently writing this sentence. The Steelers are my most loved team in the world, while the Cowboys are my most hated. Down 13-3 and having just watched the Cowboys make a goal-line stand with just 8 minutes to go I figured the game was over. But knowing Tony Romo's history of choking I never gave up on it. Sure enough the Steelers defense barely allowed the Cowboys to gain even 1 yd in the 4th quarter. The great defense combined with Romo's 3rd INT of the game left Dallas with an epic 4th quarter collapse. The Steelers outscored the Cowboys 17-0 in the 4th quarter and left Romo thinking back to his days in Seattle when he couldnt even hold on to a FG attempt.

When the Cowboys were up 13-3 I recieved numerous calls and text messages saying "HERE WE GO COWBOYS HERE WE GO." Its amazing how many dumb people there are out there who have no idea the power of a jinx. So for everyone who was dumb enough to start running their mouth with 8 minutes to go in an NFL game..."HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!"

I found a youtube video from some of my fellow Steelers fans and found it hilarious. Mainly because it is the exact atmosphere I sat through for the game. Hope you enjoy. Peace. Go Steelers. Go Cavs... hopefully ill be able to squeeze the Cavs in here on most dominant in the next 2 weeks or so because right now at a record of (20-3) they look very dominant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqRs6yBZtBE"

AND NOW ON TO OUR PICKS

JOSH: ATL, MIA, STL, CIN, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE

LUCIUS: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE (he wanted all favorites who were favored by nine points or less, and all underdogs who were getting more than nine points)

DEVIN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI

LUKE: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, DAL, PHI

JUSTIN: ATL, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, KC, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, OAK, DAL, CLE

BRIAN: TB, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, KC, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE

SHANE: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE

KEVIN: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, DAL, CLE

POLITO: ALL THE HOME TEAMS

CHEWY: TB, SF, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE

BART: ALL THE HOME TEAMS

BURSA: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, HOU, DET, GB, SD, NYJ, PIT, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI

GROTHAUS: WELCOME BACK!! - ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, DAL, CLE

RAPKING: TB, MIA, STL, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, PIT, CAR, ARI, NE, NYG, CLE

SARA: ATL, MIA, SEA, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, PIT, CAR, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI

JEFF: ATL, SF, STL, WAS, TEN, DET, JAX, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, PHI

JAKE: ATL, SF, SEA, CIN, HOU, DET, GB, SD, BUF, BAL, CAR, MIN, NE, DAL, PHI

CURTIS: TB, MIA, STL, WAS, TEN, IND, GB, SD, NYJ, BAL, DEN, MIN, NE, NYG, CLE

BRAVES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK OR PROBABLY FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON

BARNES: NO PICKS THIS WEEK - BUSY PUTTING HIS X-MAS TREE TOGETHER

There ya go, best of luck to everyone this week. A special good luck to all of those who are in the fantasy football playoffs. I hope you win until you face me. Go Browns.

Read it, roll it, hole it.