2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Nine

UPDATE: Going to try something different for week ten. One, because I didn't have time to prepare a column this week, and two, because change is good. Here are my picks, and stay tuned throughout the day for MULTIPLE posts regarding your e-mails. DEN, NO, TEN, JAX, HOU, SEA, MIN, NE, STL, CAR, IND, KC, NYG, SF.

Patience is a virtue. At least that is what I have been told since I was a little kid. Sit quietly and wait. Something good will come along.

Tell that to Detroit Lions fans. Oh wait, it just did.

Daunte Culpepper just signed a two-year deal with the Lions. Chances are he will be starting in a week or so. God bless America. “Throw-it” returns.

As for these picks, I have no virtues. I have no patience. Back-to-back sub-par weeks have led me to go elsewhere for my selections. On Wednesday night, members of the BESS group made all of my picks, minus the Mother’s Intuition Pick of course, in an attempt to rebound dramatically from my prior ineptitude. We’ll see how it goes. Smut didn’t make any picks, so my chances of picking winners goes up right off the bat.

Without further ado, here are the 2nd annual Skywalker’s.

MVP - Drew Brees and Justin Whelan. Brees for clearly showing he is the best QB in the league at this point. Whelan for not only winning the last four weeks, but showing everyone how much time and effort he puts in to his picks.

With apologies to … Clinton Portis and Alex Lucius.

Offensive Player Of The Year - Portis. He should get something for how well he is running the ball. Congrats to anyone who has him on their fantasy team.

Defensive Player Of The Year - Albert Haynesworth. He is the best player on the best team on the best unit in the entire league. Enough said.

Game Of The Year - Arizona vs. Dallas. Week Six. Arizona wins in overtime by returning a blocked punt for a TD.

Always Reliable Award - Jake Young. Last year it was Jeff Normand, this year it is Jake Young. Always turns his picks in on time and always provides comments for every single game.

The Three Consistent Amigos Award - Yours truly, Grothaus, and Lucius. All three of us have been in the top eight the entire season. No one else can say that.

The Stuart “Wha-wha’what happened” Scott Award - Matt Barnes. He’s in dead last, four games out of 19th place. He has a long road ahead of him. Did I mention he watches sports for a living? Oh well, at least he has LOST to fall back on.

The Gus Johnson Award (overall best comments) - Kevin Hunt. How could it not be? Have you been reading these things the past two weeks?

Biggest Surprise - Atlanta Falcons and Brian Boesch. The Falcons for winning games and Boesch for finding himself in the top four. What’s the best way to forget about the Indians? Win this pool. So far so good for Boesch.

With apologies to … Miami Dolphins and Josh Florence.

Final Four Prediction - NFL - Titans, Bills, Giants, and Saints. ATS - Justin, Kevin, Lucius, and Devin.

Quote Of The Week

The honor for week eight goes to … Kevin Hunt.

“I think the last time Houston was favored by ten points Earl Campbell was the running back.”

Short, simple and includes a reference to the Houston Oilers. One of the best thus far.

Kevin joins Alex Lucius and Jeff Normand in the two QOTW club.

That wraps up the 2nd annual Skywalker’s. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

Onto the games. Special thanks to the BESS club, specifically Hess, Lumpy and Ott. Something tells me that this will be the week I get back into the mix or move even further down into the inevitable abyss.

New York Jets @ Buffalo (-5.5)

For some games, the BESS club left comments. For others, they didn’t. All they said about this game was that Favre was overrated. Works for me.
My Pick: BUF (-5.5)

Justin: “I really like Buffalo here and think they win this one, as they are unbeaten at home. Bills have always been a run-oriented offense, however the Jets are second in the league against the rush. That being said give me these points and I’ll go with the Jets and hope for a close one. Bills 21-17.” Good to see Justin back with his second consecutive week of comments.

Kevin's Ballbuster Pick Of The Week (3-5) : BUF (-5.5)

"Applebee's 2 for $20 commercial was on TV. I went with game #2, the team that has a #20. If they both do, I'm going with the younger of the #20s.

Both teams have a #20 -- RB Thomas Jones for the Jets and DB Donte Whitner for the Bills.

There are MULTIPLE reasons why the Jets will now at least cover this spread, and they basically all have to do with me ...

- Thomas Jones is almost seven years older than Whitner. His birthday falls one week after mine every year.
- Whitner is from Ohio State (a team that JUST lost), while Jones hails from Virginia (a team that suddenly can't seem to stop losing, no matter what Wade thinks will happen to their season).
- I could never have the name 'Donte' and be taken seriously. But ‘Thomas’ would work just fine.” Buckle in folks, Kevin is at it again.

Devin: “Eric Mangini is the Jets coach. He first got a job in Ohio. The state of Ohio screwed me last week. Go Bills.” Last Saturday, Devin cleaned out his Sportsbook account by losing several college football games. He picked Texas to cover (-12), Ohio State to win straight up, and USC to cover (-13) against Arizona. He lost them all, and made his entire week nine picks looking to strike revenge against the states that cost him dearly.

Jake: “This is tough, but I'll go with Brett Favre. He gets the ‘T.O., Please Someone Pay Attention To Me Award.’ At first I thought Favre just wanted to come back, but now it seems like he's just looking for attention. It hurts me a lot. The Bills are a close second for ‘Most Surprising Team.’” Props to Jake for joining the festive mid-way atmosphere and dishing out some hardware of his own.

NYJ: Justin, Josh, Shane, Sara, Bursa, Grothaus, Braves, Bart

BUF: Lucius, Brian, Devin, Kevin, Luke, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Curtis, Jake, Barnes

Detroit @ Chicago (-13)

Looks like I will be backing the Bears, which is much better than the alternative in this game. I can not wait for Daunte. Christmas come early this year.
My Pick: CHI (-13)

Justin: “I had Detroit to win last week and they almost pulled off the upset as they led for three of the four quarters, but they are going to continue their streak to 0-16 this week. With a defense that ranks last in points allowed and total yards allowed, the Lions go up against the Bears who rank second in points/game. Bears 31-7.” Looks like Justin has Kyle Orton continuing his campaign for MVP.

Devin: “Lovie Smith is the Bears Coach. He is from Texas. The state of Texas killed me last week. Go Lions.” You thought I was kidding?

Kevin: “Just realized that THIS was the 2nd game on the list. So I am more or less on fire right now. At any rate, I'm applying the Ballbuster to this game as well. This also means that, unless I don't get to the site in time again, I'm forced to put money on these together. Suddenly I hate myself.” Yes, these are my friends.

Jake: “Dan Orlovsky gets the 'You've Played Football How Long and Don't Know What An Endline Looks Like Award?’ He will never live that down. Never ever.” Barry Sanders got out just in time. Another great escape for one of the best running-backs in the history of the game.

Chewy: “Well 13 points is a lot, but Detroit sucks. But I am just going on feeling this week so here it is.” ATS can play nasty games with your head.

DET: Lucius, Josh, Brian, Devin, Shane, Chewy, Polito, Sara, Bursa, Jake, Braves, Bart, Barnes

CHI: Justin, Kevin, Luke, Rapking, Jeff, Curtis, Grothaus

Jacksonville (-7.5) @ Cincinnati

I am still reeling off the worst pick I have EVER made in the history of ATS last week, taking Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road. Luckily for me, the BESS club wasn’t in “chipping golf balls” mode yet. They made the smart pick here.
My Pick: JAX (-7.5)

Justin: “The Bengals are awful and sit at 0-6 ATS as underdogs with the line between 3.5-9.5 the last two seasons. They are last in the league in points/game and total yards/game. However, I am going to be on them this week much like I was last week with the Lions. Jacksonville has had every game decided by seven or less this year.” This is a tough game. Jacksonville doesn’t win by much, but Cincinnati doesn’t win.

Bursa: “I've tried and I'm through, I can't pick the Bengals anymore. However, they still have the coolest helmets in the league ... style points. Actually, one of my students in Denver has the same reason for being a Bengals fan as I do. When he was a kid, he thought their uniforms were amazing, so he became a lifelong fan. This, my friends, is an ingenious marketing technique on the part of the worst franchise in football." You know that kid in Bursa’s class just wants bonus points on his next test. There is no way someone who is from Denver loves the Bengals. Not a chance.

Kevin: “What if the Jags are down just as much as the Colts this year? Why couldn't the Bengals win this game? If I don't win this ATS pick, I'm having my roommate Jess's dog, Frankie (or Sprinkey, if you're Bart), pick the Bengals games from here on out.” Byron Leftwich is loving this Jags demise.

Jake: “Chad Ocho Cinco gets the 'I Changed My Name For This Award?’ Since changing his name, he has done nothing. I was going to say nothing good, but really, he's just done nothing.” It has been a strangely quiet season for Ocho Cinco. No complaining here.

Brian: “Cincinnati will cost me money in this league. I will finish sixth and finish two games out of fifth. I'm more confident about this than my Cincinnati pick.” He said he was going to keep picking the Bengals until they covered, so you have to credit him with just blind faith. It makes sense however, he is a Browns fan.

JAX: Devin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus, Bart, Barnes

CIN: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Brian, Kevin, Rapking, Polito

Baltimore @ Cleveland (-1.5)

This pick was all on Ott (aka Big John, aka my dad). He took the Ravens because as he put it, “Cleveland just can’t beat Baltimore.” My response, “come on without, come on within, you’ve not seen nothing like the Mighty Quinn.”
My Pick: BAL (+1.5)

The Promise's Promise (1-5): BAL (+1.5)

"The Browns are an enigma. and I don't like enigmas. In fact, I barely know the meaning of the word. but considering that their offense won't score more than 10 on this Ravens defense, I don't see how they won't give up 14 to Joe Flacco and Willis."

Justin: “Baltimore is 0-4 ATS in last four on the road in the great city of Cleveland, Ohio. Go Browns. Browns 21- 14.” It needs to be said, but all of a sudden the Browns are 3-4. When did this happen? They feel like a 1-6 team, but have won nearly half of their games. Shawn Rogers is good. Really good.

Kevin: “OK, since I wasted my Browns stuff for the comment on the Philadelphia game, I might as well use the Philadelphia comment for the Browns game.

Rogers Hornsby finished his baseball career as a player-manager of the St. Louis Browns. Of the five teams he managed for a significant number of games, his stint with the St. Louis Browns was his second worst, fielding a .401 win percentage.

This is relevant because Tom Hanks's character in the movie, ‘Philadelphia’ is named Andrew Beckett. There are only two men in the history of the NFL holding the last name ‘Beckett,’ Jack Beckett, who played three games over the course of two NFL seasons in the 1920s, and Rogers Beckett, who played for the Bengals and Chargers over five years from 2000-2004. And there aren't many people you could say that had the name ‘Rogers,’ especially two professional athletes.

After all of that, 1) my head is exploding out of my ears, 2) Tom Hanks has AIDS and 3) in games when Rogers Beckett played, his teams had a record of 25-46. Thanks for contributing.” Kevin wins the award for the most ridiculous/random comment for one game. Let’s be honest. The award is named The Kevin Hunt Award. It was his to lose.

Devin: “O-H-I-O.” One of the dumbest fan slogans ever. Hey look at us, we can correctly spell our state. D-U-M-B.

Jake: “For Joe Flacco, the ‘In D-1AA Quarterbacks Can Throw and Catch Award’ after bringing in a 43 yarder from Troy Smith last week.” I’ll give you the catch aspect, but the jury is still out on the throwing for Mr. Flacco.

BAL: Devin, Luke, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Bart, Barnes

CLE: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Brian, Kevin, Shane, Chewy, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus, Braves

Tampa Bay (-8.5) @ Kansas City

Jeff Garcia vs. Tyler Thigpen. This game could be scarier than Saw V, which was surprisingly very good.
My Pick: TB (-8.5)

Jake: “Jeff Garcia gets the ‘Coach Only Starts Me Because He Has To Award,’ only because Chucky seems to be looking for any chance to bench the diminutive husband of the smoking stripper.” Yet this team has a better record than San Diego, Jacksonville AND Indianapolis. I just don’t get it.

Devin: “Tampa is in Florida. UCF is in Florida. The state of Florida beat me last week. Go Buccaneers?” That’s right, I forgot the UCF pick, based solely on the fact that George O’Leary is their head coach. Devin did not have a great weekend.

Kevin: “Continue playing without Larry Johnson, I dare you.” Herm Edwards promptly replies, “you double-dog dare me?”

Justin: “Give me the Chiefs here, who even though they lack offense, sit at 6-0 ATS after allowing 25+ points in back-to-back games. Bucs 20-14.” Justin is like a tall glass filled to the brim with NFL knowledge.

TB: Lucius, Josh, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Grothaus, Bart, Barnes

KC: Justin, Brian, Devin, Kevin, Jake, Braves

Houston @ Minnesota (-4.5)

Not sure how this one is going to play out, but the BESS club took the Purple People Eaters. Let’s go Adrian Peterson.
My Pick: MIN (-4.5)

Kevin: “I think the big boys on the Minnesota D-line just used the water pill to lose a little weight. They watched tape of Romeo Crennel trying to have sex with a Donatos pizza and understood that sometimes you just need to re-evaluate your life.” QOTW nominee. Only for creating the image. Thanks a lot Hunt.

Kevin (again): “Last week I said Houston was favored by 10 for the first time since Earl Campbell. Little did I know that it was actually fate that the Texans beat up on the Bengals. When I showed up to work on Tuesday and read my day-by-day sports calendar page from Sunday, here's what it said: ‘10/26/80: Earl Campbell becomes only the second running back to rush for 200 yards in consecutive NFL games, leading the Houston Oilers to a 23-3 rout of the Cincinnati Bengals at the Astrodome. The Tyler Rose gains 202 yards on 27 carries today after amassing 203 yards against Tampa Bay last week. O.J. Simpson had accomplished the feat twice, in 1973 and '76.’

That's right, back-to-back weeks with an O.J. Simpson reference. Oh yeah, and last Sunday was Mike Hargrove's 59th birthday. Hope he's recovered from the celebration.” Some of you may be surprised by this O.J. Simpson/Earl Campbell developing situation, but I’ve come to expect it.

Jake: “Mario Williams with the ‘Reggie Bush Doesn't Get Number One Money But I Do Award’ because although he hasn't clearly proved he was the better pick, he does make the money, and isn't that all that really matters?” Reggie does have Kim Kardashian however. Not a bad consolation prize.

Justin: “Coin flip game. Houston’s rattled off three in a row after starting the year 0-4 and the fact that Minnesota’s defense ranks twentieth against the pass, I will take these points and hope for the best. Ultimate deciding factor: Vikes distracted by league investigations surrounding Pat & Kevin Williams for banned substances. Vikings 31-28.” But they are both going to play. Also, they could be distracted from the Coming Out Of Retirement Party they had Saturday night for Culpepper on the team yacht. Cris Carter had a great time.

HOU: Lucius, Justin, Kevin, Shane, Rapking, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Jake, Braves, Bart

MIN: Josh, Brian, Devin, Luke, Chewy, Polito, Grothaus, Barnes

Arizona (-3) @ St. Louis

Kevin: “Here's my rationale behind this game ... hahahaha, had you going there for a second.” Sounds like this is a job for Maxine Florence.

Mother’s Intuition Pick Of The Week (1-1): ARI (-3)

There you have it. No specific reason, just her intuition.

Jake: “Jim Haslett gets the ‘I Only Coach Well Under Adversity Award’ for bringing this team back from the dead and having his other great season be with the Saints in the wake of Katrina.” True story.

Justin: “Love the home underdog here. This line is being pounded by the public and has not moved. Arizona is clearly the better team here and it is going to take a lot for the Rams to hang with the Cardinals offense. Cardinals sit comfortably at the top of the NFC West and the Rams will continue to play hard for Haslett. Rams 28-21.” Kurt Warner versus his former Super-Bowl-winning team. Could someone please get Dick Vermeil a tissue?

ARI: Lucius, Josh, Brian, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Sara, Curtis, Grothaus, Braves, Bart

STL: Justin, Devin, Kevin, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Bursa, Jake, Barnes

Green Bay @ Tennessee (-5.5)

Here we have our first disagreement. I love the Titans at this low point spread, but the BESS club felt differently. Apparently Hess was thinking like me, but was talked out of it by Lumpy, who said “Green Bay is coming off a bye week and Tennessee is coming off a short week.” Only time will tell who was right.
My Pick: GB (+5.5)

Devin: “Jeff Fisher born where ... California. This pick sucks, this game sucks.” I was waiting for the Michael Grothaus collapse, but right now it looks like Devin is taking his place.

Kevin: “Back the Pack cause the Pack is Back! (at least to cover).” Sing it if you know it. “Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation, with a black-haired flamenco dancer.”

Jake: “The Packers secondary gets the ‘We're Almost As Injured As The Ohio Bobcats Award’ for having basically everyone suffer some sort of injury.” The difference is the Packers still win games. The Bobcats? Not so much.

Justin: “Obviously Tennessee is for real and I know I should take them until they prove me wrong, but I like Green Bay to at least cover this one. Packers sit at 8-0 ATS off non-conference games and will be gunning to knock off the unbeaten Titans. Titans 20-17.” Maybe Lumpy is on to something. All of a sudden, I feel a lot better about this pick now.

GB: Justin, Josh, Brian, Devin, Kevin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Jake, Bart

TEN: Lucius, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Grothaus, Braves, Barnes

Miami @ Denver (-3)

All BESS members were in agreement. Denver is the pick here because, “they are at home off of a bye week.”
My Pick: DEN (-3)

Kevin: “My pick was based solely off results from this pee-wee football game ... http://www.losbanosenterprise.com/120/story/31539.html.” I don’t know how you found that Hunt, but job well done.

Jake: “Ronnie Brown gets the ‘I'm Not A Tiger Anymore. Just Call Me Wildcat Award’ for leading the biggest gimmick offense of the 2008 first half.” Kevin would be so proud.

Chewy: “Well I asked my magic eight ball if our defense would show up this week and the little triangle said ‘no’.” That magic eight ball must have watched the last couple of Broncos games. The Broncos might have the worst defense in the entire league, which has the legions of Lions fan breathing a sign of relief.

Justin: “Denver is too inconsistent, dropping two straight to put them at 1-5-1 ATS this season. I’ll take the surprising Dolphins who are 5-0 ATS in their last five against the Broncos and 4-1 ATS in their last five overall. Sure this streak will have to come to an end, but not this week as I see Miami continuing to surprise us all. Broncos 0-12 ATS if total is between 42.5-50. Dolphins 24-20.” I’m not sure how to comprehend all those statistics, but based solely on the political campaigns, where facts are usually misconstrued, I think Justin is a socialist.

MIA: Justin, Kevin, Jeff, Bart

DEN: Lucius, Josh, Brian, Devin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus, Braves, Barnes

Dallas @ New York Giants (-8.5)

There is no question the Browns got the short-end of the Cowboys stick this season. Cleveland had to face a fully healthy and un-suspended Dallas squad. Needless to say, Dallas is not nearly the same team. Which is why looking at schedules BEFORE the season is a tad pointless.
My Pick: DAL (+8.5)

Kevin: “The Cowboys defense finally at least made somewhat of a presence. I see this as a low-scoring game. In other news, Brooks Bollinger might see time as Dallas QB (see note for Philly-Seattle game).” I’m not quite sure when, but somewhere along the lines Hunt’s comments turned into a “turn-to-page” book.

Jake: “The Giants D-Line gets the ‘Michael and Osi Who Award?’ for playing unbelievably even after losing arguably its two best players.” Eli Manning Face.

Justin: “No mercy game for the Giants. I see this one being a blowout against a beat up Cowboy squad. Giants 31-17.” What about payback for Dallas? This game means more to the ‘Boys than it does the G-Men. The G-Men have nothing to prove. Should be a good one.

DAL: Lucius, Brian, Kevin, Luke, Shane, Rapking, Bart

NYG: Justin, Josh, Devin, Chewy, Polito, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus, Braves, Barnes

Atlanta (-3) @ Oakland

I like Oakland here. The BESS club likes Atlanta. Looks like I’m taking Atlanta.
My Pick: ATL (-3)

Justin's Triple H Candlestick Lock (0-1): OAK (+3)

“Two weeks ago I had the Raaadiers knocking off the Jets out west and it hit. I’m going to be on them again as this line is favorable. This is a great spot for the Raiders taking on a young Falcon team making their first trip out to the west coast. (Two seasons ago Oakland offensive coordinator Greg Knapp was coaching in Atlanta) Raiders 27-24.” Have to agree with Justin here. Don’t think the Falcons should be giving points on the road.

Kevin: “Falcons on the road AND traveling to the West Coast. Taking the points.” In the same week Kevin picks games because of Roger Hornsby, Tom Hanks, and then actual NFL knowledge. Sounds about right.

Jake: “The Falcons get ‘Feel Good Story Of The Year’ for turning into a legitimate team just a year after the Vick and Petrino fiascos.” League conspiracy. It’s the same reason the Saints made it to the NFC Championship game two years ago. Us Browns fans are still waiting for our conspiracy season.

ATL: Brian, Devin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus, Braves, Bart, Barnes

OAK: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Kevin, Sara, Bursa

Philadelphia (-7) @ Seattle

Since the Seahawks are all but done, at least the fans in Seattle have the Supersonics to fall back on. Oh that’s right. My bad.
My Pick: PHI (-7)

Kevin: “I might change this pick if Charlie Frye becomes the starter. On a related note, where the hell did Kelly Holcomb go? I want to see a 'cross generational' quarterback controversy. First it was Couch-Holcomb, then there was Frye-Anderson and this would bring Frye-Holcomb. Along those same lines, do you think Couch would have even been worth a six-round pick had he been traded after one game in his final season with Cleveland? Well, he didn't start out the year and the Browns lost to the Colts (9-6) and the Pats (9-3) by six combined points. How the times have changed.

Did I really just go on a Browns tangent with the Eagles-Seahawks game? Wow.” I have no words.

Jake: “Mike Holmgren with the ‘I Came Back For This Award?’ for possibly retiring a year too late.” You know he wants that San Francisco job.

Justin: “With the public pounding Philly at 95% of 23,000 bets, I’ll go with Seattle here. Eagles 21-17.” Going against the public. What a great move. Justin is going to be hard to track down folks.

PHI: Lucius, Josh, Devin, Kevin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Jake, Grothaus, Braves, Bart, Barnes

SEA: Justin, Brian

New England @ Indianapolis (-5.5)

“Indianapolis NEEDS this one.” I concur.
My Pick: IND (-5.5)

Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week (1-7): IND (-5.5)

“She took game #13 because she was at the bank cashing a check for $13. And she took the Colts because of Phyllis Hays (I believe they have family there?).

I'm not arguing, but who writes a check for $13? Maybe if this game wins, I'll start doing something on the 13th of every month. Suggestions are welcome and encouraged.” Two part response. First, as a bank teller for a solid three summers and winter breaks, I feel I am qualified to say that there are a TON of people who cash checks for odd amounts. On top of that, sometimes, when I cashed them they wanted really specific bill and coin denominations. For example, a $13 check would be cashed with a five-dollar bill, two one-dollar bills, three-dollars worth of quarters, two-dollars worth of dimes, and one-dollar worth of pennies. You think I’m kidding? Then you have no idea. Second part, my immediate response to what you should do on the 13th was to order a Donatos pizza and give it your best Romeo Crennel impression. As our favorite Sociology professor would say, ‘do with this as you will.’

Jake: “Bill Belichick gets the ‘Damn, Brady Made Me Look Great Award’ for maybe not being quite as good as he made us believe.” I respectfully disagree Jake. Belichick was the last Cleveland Browns Head Coach to win a playoff game. That takes a special something in my book.

Justin: “Tough game to pick here, but I’ll continue to believe in the Colts for some reason. While it seems like this is the end of Peyton’s decade of dominance, the Colts are 8-0 ATS off back-to-back ATS losses. Colts 27-17.” Has it really been a decade? Getting old sucks.

NE: Josh, Brian, Devin, Rapking, Curtis, Jake, Bart

IND: Lucius, Justin, Kevin, Luke, Shane, Chewy, Polito, Jeff, Sara, Bursa, Grothaus, Braves, Barnes

Pittsburgh @ Washington (-2)

I absolutely loathe Dave Wannstedt.
My Pick: WAS (-2)

Devin: “I am sure George W. Bush had something to do with my demise last week. At least Dick Cheney that evil bastard. Go Pittsburgh.

Side note: Dear W and President Cheney, what I said before was a joke. Please forgive me in case you are reading this.” If we never hear from Devin again, we all will know why.

Chewy: “Mike Tomlin hasn't lost on Monday night yet. Let's keep the streak alive.” He hasn’t had a team this banged up yet though either. We shall see.

Justin: “As much as I hate this team, I have to take the Steelers. Washington will be over pumped for their first home Monday-nighter in a while and Pittsburgh has the defense to stop Portis. Best possible outcome: Washington wins by one. Steelers 21-13.” On the flip side, no one has stopped Portis all year.

Jake: “Big Ben gets the ‘At Least I Wear A Helmet On The Field Award’ because, after all the hits he's taken, he'd probably look like he did after the big motorcycle crash if he didn't have that Black and Gold helmet.” The Steelers have a horrible offensive line. No running backs, and a QB who has already suffered three concussions this season alone. Yet, the AFC North is so bad they will have that division wrapped up by December.

Kevin: “After the debacle at the top, I decided to head to the bottom and work my way up (that's what she said... or he said?). I don't think the Steelers have enough to keep on keeping on. Good enough to win the AFC North? Probably. But not to win this game.” Best e-mail of the half-year award winner? You guessed it, Mr. Kevin T. Hunt.

Barnes: "Only because a Pittsburgh win means Barack Obama will win the Presidency, according to the way things have gone of late with the Washington Redksins before an election." Thought we would hear more Obama-McCain talk in this league.

PIT: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Brian, Devin, Shane, Chewy, Rapking, Polito, Sara, Bursa, Braves, Bart, Barnes

WAS: Kevin, Luke, Curtis, Jake, Grothaus

We have no Chew On This, Po’s Knowledge Dropping or a Thought Of The Week. Therefore, we here at K.O.A. are going to take this time to remind everyone to go out and vote on Tuesday. Pundits are saying this is the most important election in recent history (even though we believe the one in 2000 was more important). Go out and vote. If you already have, congrats. No matter what side of the fence you are on, everyone needs to vote. Do it to it.

Until next time, “read it, roll it, hole it.”

2008 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Eight

***NORM DUKE WON THE PBA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TODAY, WINNING HIS SIXTH MAJOR AND BECOMING THE FIRST BOWLER EVER TO WIN THREE CONSECUTIVE MAJORS!!

Go ahead. Curse me to the high heavens. I deserve it.

The blame should be placed squarely on my shoulders. The intro to week seven dealt with my hesitations about the pace our league was setting. I questioned whether the wins would continue to come as easily. I had severe doubts. Unfortunately for myself and the rest of the league, I was right.

Week seven was by far the most damaging to date. The best record was 8-6, tied by four members, two of which just took all the home teams. The more common sight was 6-8 or 5-9. The good news is the league experienced this together as a whole. No one jumped up from far back, although some ground was made. No one pushed ahead. Standings remained unaltered, except that the league got a nice taste of reality when it comes to ATS.

But that was in the past. We should be looking ahead. We are approaching the half-way point, which usually serves as a filter for the good and mediocre teams. Not so much in 2008. Right now there is one dominant team, the Tennessee Titans. Two playoff locks, the Pittsburgh Steelers and New York Giants. Three train-wrecks, the Detroit Lions, Cincinnati Bengals and Kansas City Chiefs. And everyone else. There is no separation. Can you say with certainty, besides Tennessee and Pittsburgh, who is going to win their division? You can’t.

Maybe Tom Brady is to blame. Perhaps the rash of injuries and suspensions in Dallas. Whatever or whomever the culprit, it has given us a wide-open league with endless Super Bowl possibilities and combinations. The NFL standings have carried over to our pick ‘em league as well. It is tighter than ever.

Lucius, once again, manages to lead the way, but this time he only has a one game lead over second (Justin) and two games over third (Josh). The greatest separation between spots is just a measly two games, meaning we are on the verge of a league shake-up. Time will tell who walks away victorious, but just like with the NFL this year, it should come down to the very last week.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Quote of the week winner returns, and the honor for week seven goes to … Alex Lucius.

“The only way St. Louis wins this game is if they pickup Ice Box from the Little Giants. Seeing as Ice Box is only 12 years old, I like Dallas.”

He beautifully wove humor with a great 90s movie reference along with his distaste for the Rams, who ended up winning straight-up. Congrats to Lucius, who now has two horses running in the Quote Of The Year derby.

The four members who went 8-6 and earned the best record for week seven were Bart Borer, Devin Frank, Justin Whelan, and Josh Florence. The former two just picked home teams, but it worked out well. Justin has now had at least a share of the league’s best record for three consecutive weeks. Josh meanwhile hasn’t earned this distinction since his remarkable 13-2 week-two run.

Onto the games. There are a tremendous amount of comments, which made this arguably the best post yet to date. Also, Polito flipped a coin for every game, because he says he has no luck in life. I disagree. He was lucky enough NOT to be born a Browns fan. Giddy up.

Oakland @ Baltimore (-7)

Two teams coming off surprising wins. Which one makes it two in a row? I’ll take the home team with the better defense.
My Pick: BAL (-7)

Devin: “Defense and run game are back in Baltimore.” If Trent Dilfer was still with us, he would be a proud man.

Kevin: “The NFL did this all wrong. This game should have been moved to next weekend for Halloween. Raiders fans act like it's Halloween every week. ‘The Raven’ is considered one of Edgar Allan Poe's darker poems, often read ON Halloween and was a part of one of the annual ‘Tree-house of Horrors’ episodes of ‘The Simpsons.’ And you can't tell me Al Davis wouldn't serve as a perfect Frankenstein-type monster. Joe Flacco's pale skin means he gets to be a ghost. And Ray Lewis could go as himself; he would just need a knife as a prop.” I figured Kevin would be back sometime soon with a strong e-mail, and he did not disappoint. With the second annual Skywalker’s coming up next week, Kevin is the front runner for the best e-mail of the year. He provided so much material, that he gets two quotes for several games.

Kevin (again): “Side note: Ray Lewis needs to get hurt to retire. Why you ask? He pleaded out of a murder case. One of the last times a high-profile NFL player didn't get convicted for murder charges brought against him was with O.J. Simpson, and look where he is now. If Ray Lewis retires, he should NOT own guns and should NOT go to Vegas. Ever. Period. For his sake. BUT, innocent until proven guilty. You feel that warmth in your heart? Yeah, that's patriotism.” Great minds think alike. On OCR with Devin last year, we talked about our most hated athletes in sports. Ray Lewis was in my top five.

Justin: “Baltimore sits at 13-4 ATS in home games when matching up against bad defenses that allow 5.5+ yds/play since 1992. 28-14 Ravens.” It appears as if Justin is fully entrenched with ATS fever. For some strange and bizarre reason, this excites me. Something tells me this is why I don’t have a girlfriend.

Jake: “Remember the movie the Cable Guy when Jim Carrey gracefully plummets from the satellite and almost kills himself by hitting the receiver, thereby blowing out everyone's signal and not letting anyone see the verdict of the big court case?? I hope someone does that this week so no one has to be forced into watching the Fighting Flaccos play this Cable Guy's team.” This may come as a surprise, but I have never seen that movie. Something tells me I am not missing much.

OAK: Josh, Polito, Bart, Jake

BAL: Lucius, Justin, Brian, Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Kevin, Chewy, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Sara, Bursa, Barnes

Arizona @ Carolina (-4.5)

All the trends point to the Panthers. My biggest mistake last week was not taking Carolina at home. If they lose, so be it, but I’m done going with my gut.
My Pick: CAR (-4.5)

Kevin: “Panthers eat Cardinals. Plus the cardinal is the state bird of Ohio, the site of the OSU-Penn State game this weekend. Panthers are similar to Nittany Lions, so hopefully the group of cats can take down things that stand for the state of Ohio.” Ohio is smack dab in the middle of Big Ten country, but the biggest game of the week is NOT the Ohio State vs. Penn State game. Sorry folks, it is between two undefeated top ten teams. Oklahoma State, ranked sixth, travels to take on the undefeated and undisputed top ranked Texas Longhorns. THIS is the game of the week. Don’t buy into the Ohio State propaganda, some of us are too far into the forest to see the trees.

Kevin (again): “Side note: The colors for the Wisconsin Badgers are cardinal and white. I don't think I've seen a cardinal here yet. I guess all the badgers ate them.” Yes, these are my friends.

Justin: “Carolina is a good team at home and I like them a lot here, but Arizona coming off a bye and not getting any love from the public (10%) is good enough for me to take these points. 28-24 Panthers.” Not me, I will never pick against the Panthers at home for the remainder of the season. I was in love with Carolina at the beginning of the season and I jumped off the bandwagon voluntarily. As President Bush famously stated ...

Jake: “The Panthers are dynamite at home, and going from the west to the east to play this year has been tough on all of the traveling teams.” I seem to recall the Cardinals giving up 56 to the New York Jets a couple weeks back.

ARI: Justin, Brian, Braves, Polito, Jeff

CAR: Lucius, Josh Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Rapking, Kevin, Chewy, Shane, Bart, Jake, Curtis, Sara, Bursa, Barnes

Tampa Bay @ Dallas (-3.5)

All of a sudden the Bucs became the more talented team here. The Cowboys are two losses away from firing Wade Phillips and signing Keyshawn Johnson and Daunte Culpepper to multi-year contracts.
My Pick: TB (+3.5)

Devin: “Back to my old ways, no confidence going with the win-win.” The line as of Thursday evening is down to -2, which tells me TB is getting the action. Brad Johnson looked miserable against the Rams last week, but who knows if the Bucs are really this good?

Jake: “It's too bad Gruden doesn't get the wild hair to bring back Rob Johnson for a game just to face off against Brad Johnson for Johnson superiority. Johnson superiority ... a game I'm sure Jeff Garcia must beat them all in. I mean, there must be some reason Carmella was willing to marry him...right?” It certainly was not for his looks.

Justin: “With the current line sitting at 1.5 I will take the points and the better team here in Tampa Bay. If Dallas pulls off the win, it’s by a late field goal. 20-17 Bucs.” Everything points to Tampa Bay, which makes me not like my pick so much. People tend to lose when they gamble.

Chewy: “Dallas just makes me angry.” Agreed. Dallas was going to be one of those safe teams. They were going to be one of the elite teams. Now, they might not make the playoffs. Who could have thunk that a month ago.

Kevin: “Wow Dallas, really? I heard a report today (I think it was on 'The Jim Rome Show') that Jerry Jones was at practice ‘working with’ Tony Romo to determine whether the QB would be second or third on the depth chart this week. Someone immediately called in to say that it wouldn't be far fetched to see Jerry Jones running routes since he's now working out with the team.

Not only would Jerry Jones's old ass in a football uniform be hilarious as hell, but it would also make for another great "football memory turned Disney movie like ‘Invincible’ and ‘Remember the Titans.’ I mean seriously, think of the movie trailer:

‘This Friday…’

Jones (playing himself) to Romo (played by Lance Bass): If you won't throw me the damn ball, I'll sign someone who WILL!

‘Owning the team …’

Jones to T.O. (played by Webster Slaughter): A bigger contract? Show me something on the field that I can't do myself!

‘Means owning the field.’

Jones (to a defender he burned after catching a touchdown pass during a game at home): Who put the ‘D’ in Dallas? ... Obviously not you!

‘From the producers of the Financial Crisis …’

John McCain (playing himself): The fundamentals of our economy are strong!

‘Jerry Jones ... Lance Bass ... Webster Slaughter ... and Chuck Norris …’

Chuck Norris, as Special Teams Coordinator (in the team huddle before the game): You know who invented the kickoff return for touchdown? I did. And if you let them think for a second that they did, I'll kill you... Cowboys on 3. 1! 2! 3! COWBOYS!!!

‘Mavericks: The Dallas Cowboys Story’

John Madden (playing himself): Now that there, he's a football owner!

‘Rated PG. In theaters Friday.’

- Fade to Black - ”

Hunt, after I finish up these quick three weeks of school, let’s write a movie/book/TV show/etc. I’m dead serious. Think about it, we have a history of writing grade A material. We created Allan Houston before he actually existed. No lie. I’m willing to go all in. It would be the final puzzle piece of our inevitable journey of becoming George and Jerry from Seinfeld.

TB: Justin, Brian, Grothaus, Luke, Braves, Rapking, Kevin, Chewy, Polito, Shane, Jeff, Bart, Jake, Bursa, Barnes

DAL: Lucius, Josh, Devin, Curtis, Sara

Washington (-8.5) @ Detroit

The Redskins don’t blow teams out. They also haven’t faced Detroit yet.
My Pick: WAS (-8.5)

KEVIN’S BALLBUSTER PICK OF THE WEEK (3-4): WAS (-8.5)

“It was the top of the fourth in Game One of the World Series. I took the team that was on top (usually the road team) in the fourth game listed. C'mon Clinton Portis.”

Devin: “Does Marinelli have a job after this week?” The scary part with this developing story is that the Lions still do not have a GM, yet they already traded Roy Williams, which is without a doubt trumps anything Matt Millen did for Detroit. They can’t fire their coach with no GM. Well, you wouldn’t think so.

Jake: “A lot of people are going with the Lionesses this week, but not me. Why?? Because I don't pick up on trends. And I refuse to believe the Redskins will play a third straight dud.” It seems you pick up on trends Jake; you just don’t seem to follow them.

Justin: “The Redskins have been solid this year, but haven’t destroyed anybody yet. There is no reason Detroit should be in this game, but I see them keeping this one close. This is another game where I will stay away from the public and go with the win-less Lions as things line up well for them. 31-28 Lions.” Justin, I can understand picking the Lions ATS, but to be the straight-up winner? Have you gotten the pleasure to watch any of their games yet this year? The Lions pride themselves on how terrible they are.

WAS: Josh, Brian, Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Kevin, Chewy, Jeff, Curtis, Jake, Sara, Barnes

DET: Lucius, Justin, Polito, Shane, Bart, Bursa

Buffalo (-1.5) @ Miami

There is a reason Buffalo, despite a 5-1 record is only favored by fewer than two points. It is because these teams always play close games. Always.
My Pick: MIA (+1.5)

MAXINE HUNT PICK OF THE WEEK (0-7): MIA (+1.5)

“She needs some redemption and now has to run with the other Maxine Pick. Maxine Hunt is on the bus. Some Maxines are on the front of the bus. Some Maxines are on the back of the bus. Maxine Hunt is on the bus.

After randomly selecting a ‘straight up pick’ game last week and straight up picking the loser, using her ‘football pick’ method, Maxine is back to random reasons.

She chose the 5th game listed because they were watching ‘V for Vendetta’ at the time (and I'm going to see Saw V tomorrow, coincidence? We'll know Sunday). Then she took the Dolphins because she was by the fish tank (which is by the computer in our basement). ‘To hell with the football guesses.’ she says. Unfortunately Maxine didn't get the memo that they're now the Miami Wildcats.

She's taking MIA this week, and if she starts this year 0-8, the Maxine Hunt Pick of the Week might be M.I.A. for the rest of the year. Is this a threat? Yes it is.”

A few weeks back I made the Cleveland Browns comparison with Maxine Hunt, but now, she has out-paced herself from that reference. The ONLY thing that can even come close to what she is doing would be when the Dallas Mavericks started the 2006-07 season 0-4, which everyone thought was impossible. It should be remembered that the Mavs went on to win the next 12 in a row, and finished the year with a 67-15 record. Just five games behind the all-time record, 72-10 of the1995-96 Bulls (a record that may NEVER be broken).

Justin: “Look for the ‘phins to grab the W in the rain this week. These two clubs have always seemed to play close games in Miami, with the margin of victory being 6.8 in the last 5 contests. (Weather will even these teams out) 17 -14 Dolphins.” Justin is giving everyone a good glimpse at all he looks into before making his picks. 1) Teams ATS records. 2) Where the current line is placed. 3) The weather conditions. 4) Margin of victories and defeats. He deserves to do well. He reminds me of myself from last year. This year I am spending too much time writing this and not doing that.

Jake: “I think Buffalo's defense is better than Baltimore's and Baltimore put a spanking on the Dolphins.” Aw yes, the classic case of Team A beating Team B, but Team C being better than Team A, so Team C will easily beat Team B. My head hurts.

Chewy: “I just like the fact that Ricky Williams is playing football again.” I’m fairly certain Chewy has used this quote before, but regardless, it never gets old.

BUF: Brian, Grothaus, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Polito, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Jake

MIA: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Luke, Kevin, Chewy, Bart, Sara, Bursa, Barnes

St. Louis @ New England (-7)

Last year this spread would have looked like this: St. Louis @ New England (-33). Just eight weeks in to the 2008 season and we can already begin to appreciate how special that 2007 Pats team was.
My Pick: NE (-7)

Devin: “Which NE team shows up?” How about, which St. Louis team shows up?

Chewy: “If they keep running the ball like they did next week look out. They don't even need Tom Brady.” That's what one game against the Denver Broncos will do for a team.

Kevin: “Those were the Pats we all remembered. But don't get me wrong, this is still a tough pick considering what the Rams did to the Cowboys last week. No Rodney Harrison could hurt New England, but I'm just going with the road-home swing for this game (both teams won big at home last week, but the Rams now go on the road).” If the Rams win this game, then in back-to-back weeks they will have defeated the two teams I picked to go to the Super Bowl two months ago. I would have given 1,000-1 odds of this taking place back in August.

Jake: “I heard Tom Brady's not playing this week. Sucks for the Pats. Oh well ... I think they'll bring down the resurgent Big-Horned sheep this week.” Congratulations Jake, you have a QOTW contender.

Justin: “Line opened at 4.5 and now is up to 9 at some places. Give me the Pats and the points here as St. Louis has a beat up Steven Jackson and Matt Cassel has finally found a connection with Moss after three weeks. 31-14 Pats.” Anyone else see where the Rams were denied hiring Jim Haslett if he won six games? The NFL loves to control everything.

STL: Rapking, Polito, Bart, Sara

NE: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Brian, Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Braves, Kevin, Chewy, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Jake, Bursa, Barnes

San Diego (-3) @ New Orleans @ London @ Wembley Stadium

We are changing up the Mother’s Intuition Pick of the Week. Instead of picking Browns games, Maxine Florence (my mum) is going to pick a game that is particularly troubling me. This week it was the Chargers and Saints playing overseas in London. Both teams have been accurately labeled as “underachievers,” and both need to win this game.

Mother’s Intuition Pick Of The Week (0-1): NO (+3)

Maxine went with the Saints because she said the Chargers were not very good this year and felt the Saints should be favored.

Just let it be better than last time.

Bart: “English National Football Team. The Three Lions will win a thriller at Wembley.” This was his ACTUAL pick. He did not pick either the Chargers or the Saints. Bart usually picks the home teams, but since this particular game does not feature one, we will give him the team who gets the ball FIRST in the SECOND HALF. What would Bart’s response to this probably be? Fair enough.

Devin: “That is one nasty flight from SD to London.” It was an ugly game last year between the Giants and the Dolphins. Something tells me the same could happen again this time around.

Chewy: “Well I know like half of the Saints are doping, but half the Chargers probably are too. They just haven't been caught yet.” That’s right Chewy, I almost forgot. Several New Orleans Saints players, including Will Smith and Deuce McCallister failed a drug test recently. That is what one night with Ricky Williams will do to a man.

Jake: “Because, little do people know, Drew Brees actually grew up delivering papers on the streets of this grand old English city (that's how he got his arm), and because the Chargers infuriate me week in and week out.

Side note: Everyone else should pick San Diego because I almost guarantee I'm wrong on this pick.” I love the confidence.

Sara: "Yeah Europe! Bring all the games here! I was 96% going to this game, but then everything fell through and I wound up going to Amsterdam instead! My English friend Dan is going to the game though, boo! According to him the NFL is very big with the Brits! He's a Giants fan, but he said he'd absolutely love to go to a Browns game someday ... woo!" Could this be just the spark Sara needs to get back to the top? Time will tell.

Kevin: “Tampa Bay Rays' Jason Bartlett stole second base while I was typing up these picks. That meant everyone in America gets a free taco from Taco Bell on October 28th between 2 and 6 p.m. local time where you live. No one place was angrier at Bartlett than those at Taco Bell headquarters in Irvine, Calif.

I decided to take the team that played closest to that location, which would be San Diego. It also turns out that the Chargers will be one of two teams playing in the stadium farthest away from Irvine with the showdown in London against the Saints. I hope I'm not getting greedy wanting a free taco AND an ATS win.

I figure as long as I don't tell Taco Bell that my birthday is on November 31, I'll be OK.

This game will also take the cake for number of times I think to myself, ‘You sound like you're from London’ from ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall.’ But I'm perfectly OK with that.” One of my favorite movie experiences was when Kevin and I saw this movie at the Athens theatre, while sneaking in several cans of beer. The best part was deciding when to crack them open. Sometimes it would be when there was loud music or a sufficient amount of laughter, other times when it was completely silent.

Justin: “San Diego sucks on the road and New Orleans can’t play any defense. I will take the points and question just how SD is going to play this week on the road in another country? 31-28 Saints.” There is very little doubt that the Saints need this game more than the Chargers. 8-8 could very well win the AFC West.

SD: Josh, Brian, Braves, Kevin, Chewy, Polito, Curtis, Sara, Barnes

NO: Lucius, Justin, Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Rapking, Shane, Jeff, Jake, Bursa

Kansas City @ New York Jets (-13)

Two touchdowns might be too much to ask from the Jets, but the Chiefs have no offense whatsoever. Two touchdowns might be ALL it takes for the New York to cover.
My Pick: NYJ (-13)

Devin: “Honest Question: What part of the bus is KC on now?” That makes two Herm Edwards “bus” references this week. I hope he lives forever.

Whenever I start to think about Herm Edwards, Jim Mora immediately comes to mind. The “diddily-poo” line always has me cracking up.

Kevin: “No Larry Johnson + this is the broadcast game that means I have to go to a bar to watch the Browns = 13-0 Jets.” It’s tough enough to watch the Browns these days, let alone having to go out to a bar in Madison. Hunt deserves some credit.

Jake: “Favre follows up ‘the most disappointing game of his career’ with another clunker. Meanwhile, his golden image continues to look more and more copperish. I'm starting to think he wants to just send me into a spiral of tears and despair.” Jake, welcome to the life of a regular Cleveland Browns fan. Tears and despair summed it up perfectly.

Justin: “I will continue to take KC and a lot of points because no matter how bad they are, this is the NFL and teams won’t continue to get blown out every week. At least I don’t think. Also, I could see KC back up running backs taking advantage of the opportunity to see the field. 17-7 Jets.” When did Larry Johnson become a handful? Did I miss something?

Chewy: “I am a man of my word.” No one is going to dispute that statement. Chewy “vowed” (pun) never to pick against a team getting double-digit points, unless the Rams or Bengals were involved.

KC: Justin, Josh, Brian, Chewy, Shane, Jake, Bursa, Barnes

NYJ: Lucius, Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Kevin, Polito, Jeff, Curtis, Bart, Sara

Atlanta @ Philadelphia (-9)

I am still not sold on Atlanta and Matt Ryan. Last year it was this line of thinking with the Packers that hurt me, which means the Falcons will probably go all the way to the NFC Championship with me saying, “I’m still not sold on them.”
My Pick: PHI (-9)

Devin: “Philly is overrated and that is way too many points.” When did nine become too many points? Remember last year when the Pats were faced with covering 20+ points on the road? We all still picked New England. How times have changed.

Kevin: “Say it with me now ... ‘Bri-an West-brook! Clap, clap, clap clap clap'.” 5-1 odds say Westbrook is out by half-time.

Jake: “The Golden Boy looks awfully good with a rejuvenated line and a Burner in the backfield. Although, I'm pretty sure in real life, an Eagle would tear a Falcon to little bits, and then do it again just because he's bored.” Or because he is trying to cover the spread. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be here all night.

Justin: “While I like the Falcons and my gut tells me to take these points, I can’t help but take Philly here knowing that coming off a bye week they are 9-0 SU and 7-2 ATS, allowing on average just over 8 points/game. 28-13 Eagles.” Look at those statistics! With this single week alone, Justin has proven to me that he is in it to win it. Also, when I get my podcast up and running, I will be calling him to talk ATS as well. Count it.

ATL: Josh, Brian, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Bart, Jake, Barnes

PHI: Lucius, Justin, Grothaus, Luke, Kevin, Chewy, Polito, Sara, Bursa

Cleveland @ Jacksonville (-6.5)

Come on without. Come on within. You have not seen nothing like the Mighty Quinn.
My Pick: JAX (-6.5)

Chewy: “Give the ball to Jamal!” Fire Romeo! Fire Phil Savage! Start Brady Quinn! Hire Bill Cowher! I could go on for a while.

Devin: “I heart Romeo. He makes at least one call a game that brings me a bit closer to the end and I'm not even a browns fan.” If anyone has ever heard Derek Anderson talk then you will know that this following formula makes sense. DA + Romeo + Two-minute drill = plane crash waiting to happen. My brother Josh makes quicker decisions on his final exams. Goodness.

Jake: “Can the Brownies stop the run?? Clinton Portis says no, although they still kept the game close. I don't care. I'm betting that two good backs in Jacksonville will give me 6.5, whereas one in Washington could only get me a measly 3.” Clinton Portis is good. So is Maurice Jones-Drew. The Browns have trouble stopping the run. I don’t like where this is going.

Kevin: “Will the Browns win? Maybe not. But they kept it close on the road at Washington and Jacksonville hasn't played in a game this season decided by more than seven points.

Better yet, do you remember the last time the Browns played at Jacksonville? I'll give you a hint, that game came in the same year that Cleveland started 2-4 AND made the playoffs in the same season. 2002. And the Brownies beat the Jags on the road 21-20 that year. Just saying …” The Jags and Browns have always played some interesting ball games. Joe Barrett and myself attended the game in Cleveland the last time these two squads met up. It was Charlie Frye’s first start. Or as I refer to it, the beginning of the end.

And of course there was the beer bottle game.


Justin: “While the Browns have been disappointing to say the least this year, they are still 14-4 ATS in their last 18 and 8-2 ATS following a loss. Plus, I plan on winning this poll without ever picking against my brown and orange. With Dick Enberg calling the game, look for Lawrence Vickers to convert six third downs and for Donte’ Stallworth to score two touchdowns. Go Browns. 24-21 Browns.” I loathe Dick Enberg. However, with the ever-looming possibility of the Brady Quinn Era getting under way, the question becomes, “Who will call his first TD throw?” My guess is, unfortunately, Dick Enberg. Week 13 at home versus the Colts. Jared and I will be present and my life will be complete.

CLE: Lucius, Justin, Josh, Brian, Rapking, Kevin, Chewy, Polito, Shane, Curtis, Sara

JAX: Grothaus, Luke, Devin, Braves, Jeff, Bart, Jake, Bursa, Barnes

New York Giants @ Pittsburgh (-3)

Super Bowl preview? Naw. Just a couple of teams who will be in the playoffs, nothing more, nothing less.
My Pick: PIT (-3)

Kevin: “A wise person once said, ‘When you start betting on your hopes, that's when you're gonna lose.’ Well screw that wise guy.” The betting on your hopes aspect is never more relevant than it is with ATS. Believe it.

Jake: “Because Eli is the new Peyton. Wow ... that's funny to write and to look at. Not quite as funny as watching Josh Febus get a concussion for the Bobcats on a botched field goal though. But anyway ... Eli's not Peyton, but his O-Line will allow him to make plays, whereas Big Ben will probably be sacked seven or eight times.” Those Bobcats are miserable. You can just tell they want this season to be over.

Justin: “In a match-up of 5-1’s I will take the Giants getting 3. Maybe someone will finally rip Hines Ward’s head off? 24-20 Giants.” Spoken like a true Browns fan. Although I must admit, I have always enjoyed Hines Ward. He plays hard, obviously enjoys it, and talks a little smack. Nothing wrong with that.

NYG: Justin, Josh, Brian, Devin, Braves, Kevin, Chewy, Shane, Curtis, Bart, Jake, Sara, Bursa

PIT: Lucius, Grothaus, Luke, Rapking, Polito, Jeff, Barnes

Seattle @ San Francisco (-4.5)

Should I take the points or go with the home team? After considerable thought, I’m going with the 49ers because Lucius has mentioned Alcatraz several times this season. And well, he is in first.
My Pick: SF (-4.5)

Justin’s Week Eight Triple-H Candlestick Lock (0-0): San Francisco (-4.5)

“The Niners have been disappointing this year, but the Seahawks have been even worse. 31-14 49’ers.”

San Francisco has been disappointing the last several years and the Seahawks are having open tryouts for wide-receivers and quarter-backs. No prior experience necessary.

Kevin: “Still hate J.T. O'Sullivan. But considering I've never really had a reason, I decided I'd go and search for it. I knew it was subconsciously and mysteriously there, but I couldn't figure it out.

I was really close to clearing him to be honest. According to the always reliable Wikipedia, then Head Coach Mike Nolan even appeared on KNBR's 'Murph and Mac Show' on my 23rd birthday to announce that JTO moved into the lead for the 49ers starting quarterback job.

But then I found my reason. It was instinctive. J.T. stands for John Tremain, similar to the main character of a book with the same title, 'Johnny Tremain' by Esther Forbes that we had to read in grade school. I didn't choose it then and there's no way I'm choosing John Tremain now. Glad that's settled.” Lord did I hate reading that book. Also, from now on, there are two ways a member of this league can reference J.T. O'Sullivan. One, you can call him "the artist formally known as JTO" or you can go with "Johnny Tremain O'Sullivan." Your choice.

Jake: “Because J.T. O'Sullivan is greater than Seneca Wallace. Now ... if William Wallace plays ... it's Seahawks in a rout. And we'll be treated to public indecency for flashing before and after the win.” Wikipedia tells me that there are several William Wallaces and I don’t know which one Jake is talking about. Someone care to fill me in?

SEA: Josh, Brian, Grothaus, Devin, Kevin, Bart, Bursa

SF: Lucius, Justin, Luke, Braves, Rapking, Chewy, Polito, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Jake, Sara, Barnes

Cincinnati @ Houston (-10)

Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road? Am I really doing this? Who would steal 30 packed lunches?
My Pick: CIN (+10)

Devin: “Another team with a lame duck coach but ten points is too much to give to the Texans.” It’s all a matter of how comfortable you are with the favorite.

Kevin: “I think the last time Houston was favored by ten points Earl Campbell was the running back.” Hunt puts up a QOTW nominee. Great stuff, although Warren Moon called me and said he would like a word with you.

Kevin (again): “Also, my apologies about denying the fact that the Texans won a game BEFORE last week. It was a mistake that made myself and KOA look bad. I pledge from here on out to make sure my statements are at least partially accurate before posting them. In fact, there should be a Kevin Hunt level of accuracy. It's not completely accurate, just accurate enough to be funny or made fun of.” Would you believe he is a news producer ladies and gentlemen?

Justin: “A lot of people are on the Bengals and I think I am with them. Give me the points and I’ll hope for the best. This one could go either way. 21-17 Texans.” I wonder what Kevin would think of Justin “hoping” for the best?

Chewy: “It has to happen eventually and why not against a mediocre team like Houston.” That seems to be the common thought process with this game.

CIN: Justin, Josh, Brian, Luke, Devin, Braves, Rapking, Chewy, Bart, Jake, Bursa, Barnes

HOU: Lucius, Grothaus, Kevin, Polito, Shane, Jeff, Curtis, Sara

Indianapolis @ Tennessee (-4)

Biggest game of the week. Enough of the “is Tennessee for real?” talk. They are the best team in football right now. They are healthy, they can run the ball better than anyone, and they have the best defense in the league. Four points at home? You have to pick Tennessee here.
My Pick: TEN (-4)

Devin: “I hate Peyton Manning. It’s official.” One of the many memories I have from our initial trip to Las Vegas was Peyton Manning single-handedly ruining Devin’s four team teaser. Devin obviously, does not forget.

Kevin: “This line makes you wonder if the Colts are supposed to break out this week or something. I'm considering pulling the ‘you can't stay undefeated for this long in the NFL’ card (throw out the 2007 Patriots), but the Titans look very good while the Colts struggle with the likes of the Packers.” I tried using that card last week Hunt, didn’t work. I’ve learned my lesson.

Kevin (again): “I should take this time to note that last week, even with the Ballbuster Pick of the Week, I went against the Ken Jones Theory that is simply, 'Back the Pack cause the Pack is Back!' Why did I let myself do this? I'm considering a similar ban as I have with the Browns. From now on I choose my Ballbuster Picks/Maxine Hunt picks randomly from a list of games that doesn't include the Browns or the Packers. Will it help? I sure hope so.” Didn’t he just get done saying screw the ‘betting on your hopes’ guy?

Jake: “Did you see what the Green Bay defense did to Indy last week? Tennessee's defense is much, much better and less injured.” A word of caution. Division games, especially one of this magnitude, tend to be closer than people predict.

Chewy: “I just don't know about the Colts this year, but I don't think the Titans can keep all this winning up.” Proof positive that the Titans might be the most over-looked 6-0 teams in the history of the NFL.

Justin: “Yes, the Titans are unbeaten SU and ATS this year. They also have covered all four games against the Colts dating back to 2004. However, the Colts sit at 6-0 ATS against stellar defensive teams who give up 14 or less points/game the past 3 seasons. Something has to give. I’m going to continue to go against Tennessee, as this is a much bigger game for the Colts and their chances of winning another AFC South crown. Give me Peyton and the points. (Colts 5-0 ATS in last 5 Monday night contests) 20-13 Colts.” Justin, I apologize for not giving you a QOTW nominee, but just wait until next week when I hand out some half-way hardware. Well done.

IND: Justin, Josh, Brian, Grothaus, Braves, Rapking, Chewy, Polito, Curtis, Bart, Sara, Barnes

TEN: Lucius, Luke, Devin, Kevin, Shane, Jeff, Jake, Bursa

CHEW ON THIS - VOL. VII. - By: Andrew Reinhart

“Just a little not on my Broncos this week. I predict that we will have our best defensive performance of the season this week.”

Well it certainly can’t be any worse than it was last week. That was a bit ridiculous. They made Sammy Morris look like Jim Brown.

PO‘S KNOWLEDGE DROPPING - Week Seven in Review - By: Ryan Polito

"Most Dominant:

Tampa Bay Rays - One of the best stories in MLB history. Turning a last place 2007 season into a 2008 AL championship season. They are the lowest payroll team to ever make the World Series, being 29th in baseball in the payroll category. Joe Maddon is easily the manager of the year this year, and anyone who doesn’t vote for him lives in Boston or New York. As I’m writing this they are tied 1-1 in the World Series with Philly. I’m rooting hard for Tampa Bay to represent baseball as the World Champs.

Least Dominant:

A balloon - This wasn’t just any normal balloon, this was a balloon that pissed off a lot of people last Sunday. During the Bills-Chargers game last week the national anthem was played followed by some idiot on the field releasing hundreds of red, white, and blue balloons into the air. Well all but one of those balloons made it to the heavens above. One red balloon decided to be a hard ass and get stuck in a power unit at the top of the stadium cause a power outage and a massive delay. The game was delayed twice for several minutes and the CBS video power was shot. People in Buffalo and San Diego had no access to their teams game and were instead shown another CBS game that day. All thanks to a red balloon. Hilarious.

Others receiving votes for least dominant:

Fat NFL players - For taking the ‘water pill’ and more than likely being suspended for four games because of it. I’ll probably have more on this story next week because only four players have been named so far. The drug is apparently used to help players lose weight.

Mike Nolan - If you get fired ... you are going on least dominant ... end of story.

Fun Fact of the Week:

I want to regain some credibility here and explain last weeks fun fact about Kellen Winslow. He had staph infection and apparently one of the side effects was the thing I discussed last week. So he did indeed have both sicknesses to deal with in the hospital. Just had to clear that up in case anyone thought I made up what I said last week. Now on to this week’s fun fact ...

- It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thank you. And see you next week. Go Steelers.”

EDITOR'S NOTE:

We all know that Sunday's in the fall are all about NFL football, but let me divert your attention elsewhere at 1 pm EST Sunday on ESPN.

Yeah it's bowling, but hear me out.

Norm Duke is attempting to make history. He is my favorite bowler, and he should be yours as well.

The 2008 PBA season gets underway this week, and similar to tennis, they start with a major. The first tournament is the Denny's World Championship, the first of four majors on the PBA tour. The televised final will consist of four bowlers. The two semi-final matches will determine who battles for the World Championship.

Norm Duke will be one of those four bowlers.
Norm struggled the first half of the 2007 season, and it got so bad he was on the verge of not automatically qualifying for the 2008 tour. However, he turned it around by winning the final two majors, completing the "Career Grand Slam." He is just one of six bowlers to accomplish that feat. If he wins Sunday, he will stand alone in history.

No professional bowler has EVER won three majors in a row, period. If Norm Duke can win two matches Sunday, he can be the first and the ONLY bowler to pull off that tremendous feat.

So, Sunday afternoon when you have the TV on and are checking the scores of the games, flip it over to ESPN and see how Duke is doing. For Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Cincinnati fans, our games don't start until 4 pm EST, so pre-game by watching Duke.

Know this, I will be watching, probably on pins and needles with every throw. Norm Duke is one of my top five favorite sporting figures of all-time. History could be made tomorrow. Don't miss it.

That's all she wrote this week. Thanks to those who got their picks in on time. Justin, Jake, Kevin, Polito, Devin, and Chewy, thanks for another solid week of comments. The more of those, the better the blog. The work is appreciated.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it." Go Norm Duke!

Skywalker's Favorite October Videos

Did not have the time or a great idea for a mid-week column, so instead I decided to post some of my favorite videos from the greatest month of 'em all, October.

Let's get right into it.

LOST doesn't make it's highly anticipated return until late January, but filming has been going on since August. Here is the very first official trailer for season five including some actual clips.

When I first saw this I became, for the lack of a better term, really excited. Probably as excited as I was on the day when Brady Quinn got drafted. Which leads flawlessly into the next video. Got to love transitions.

I am not a big FOX News fan. In fact, most of the stuff they report on is utter garbage, especially with their motto being "fair and balanced." The crazy stuff is that there are people out there who rely on FOX News for all of their information, and take it on face value. It's not as much crazy as just downright scary.

Nonetheless, one of the best things that network has ever done involved Brady Quinn. This interview takes place just before draft day back in April of 2007. Make sure you check out his pass at the end.

What a perfect pass! The guy didn't even move an inch and the ball hit him straight in the chest. I was so fired up the first time I saw this clip. Even though the present looks ugly for the Cleveland Browns, the future, looks unquestionably bright.

Some of my readers have been a bit confused by my "where we chop all of our action, and mostly power" currently on top of the page. Well, it comes from my favorite show on television right now. Yes, I said favorite RIGHT NOW, which will put it above The Office. Sorry, but this show is almost perfect. Yes, these clips are going to be out of context, but worth checking out. It's the funniest show I've ever watched.

That was Charlie Pace, and he is my favorite character by far. The next clip is a continuation of the first. Mac and Charlie battle each other over the Bible's message.

Here is the infamous "chopping action" clip. The first clip sets the table, and then the second delivers the golden line. The gang is involved in a dance marathon, with the winner getting ownership of their bar.

Now Charlie sings his "Night Man" song.

Which led him to write his even better "Day Man" song.

One of my favorite episodes is where The Gang as they are called, have to do community service and coach two youth basketball teams. Here they pick teams.

This show was created with me in mind, I must admit. It's damn near perfect. If LOST has a bad season, It's Always Sunny could pass it. Now I doubt that will happen, but I'm just throwing it out there.

Okay, moving on. There's no question about my loyalty to Bill Simmons. He is one of the people who inspired me to pursue a career in writing. He has a podcast, which one can listen to over on my sidebar, and here is its' introduction song, which was created by Ronald Jenkees, who is nothing short of amazing.

He is certainly one of a kind, and here is his latest remix.

Switching gears completely, some of you may remember my Skywalker's Top 40 list from two years ago. Number two was Andre Agassi, and my favorite Agassi moment took place when he won the Cincinnati Masters which was the first professional tennis event I attended. Here are some highlights from the semi-final night match between Andre and Andy Roddick.

It was high quality tennis from the onset (the very first highlight is the very first point) and it was a moment I will never forget. Also, Kwame and I developed a quasi-relationship with MaliVai Washington (who was the color commentator) during the tourney and I asked him who he thought was going to win this match. He replied, "Roddick in three." I told him to prepare for the upset. Luke 1, MaliVai 0.

Yes the Browns are going nowhere this season, and won't be heading in a positive direction until some serious changes are made. In spite of these dark times, let me take everyone back to the days of William Green.

After that game the Browns were 9-7 and lucked into the playoffs when Chad Pennington and the New York Jets torched the Green Bay Packers. I was a huge Green fan, and his jersey was the very first one I ever bought. God help me.

And finally, I leave you with the greatest baseball managerial rant ever recorded. His name is Earl Weaver. WARNING, the language is uncensored.

The "your crew is here for one reason" line is awesome. Also, Eddie Murray looks good in the supporting role as well.

Okay, that's enough from me, hope you enjoy these clips. King of Arguments will be back on Sunday afternoon with our week eight picks. Stay safe everyone.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."