The Beatles wrote, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” No, we are not using a Beatles song this week, but we are taking that lyric to heart in week seven.
One year ago the KOA needed a spark picking games, so we turned to members of the BESS Club (aka. The Gay Lanes regulars) to make our selections. They didn’t do anything spectacular, but they did provide something extremely valuable.
Perspective.
Taking the week completely off and putting the responsibility in someone else’s hands allowed the KOA to gain some perspective on the NFL. Believe me, you look at things differently when you aren’t frantically rooting for certain teams to score a meaningless touchdown just to obtain a cover.
One year ago, the KOA took that week off and parlayed it into a second place finish. Here’s to hoping it works again this year. But alas, no BESS Club in 2009. Nope, this year, we turn it to the Queen Of Arguments … starting with the theme song from her favorite movie.
Giddy up. Week seven is here.
INDIANAPOLIS (-12.5) @ ST. LOUIS
Jess loves Peyton Manning. He is her favorite football player. She would pick Peyton Manning over any other professional athlete. It’s almost to the point where I hope she never meets Peyton, because if she did, I may be S.O.L.
My Pick: IND (-12.5)
Devin: “Disappointed that the prayers are now going to Rose now Florence. Jimmy still needs are prayers!” D-Frank is referring to the end of my weekly spreads e-mail where I petition the league to send prayers to someone. At first it was Brady Quinn, then Jimmy Clausen … now it’s Derrick Rose.
Lay: “LeBron James: Like LeBron, Peyton hosted SNL. Unlike LeBron, Peyton was AWESOME. He did an awesome DA/Browns impression in the United Way skit by throwing balls as fast as he could towards "receivers" who were roughly nine inches away, the kids picked it up on their end by dropping each and every pass. I do wish I could watch Bron Bron dance in a golden unitard on a more regular basis, however, as long as it's not as one of Jay-Z's backup dancers.” Nick Lay using the start of the NBA season as a catapult for another theme week. All Cleveland Cavaliers for Lay.
Brian: “It's sad when this could be an Appalachian State-Michigan-esque upset or a 16 over a 1 in the NCAA tournament. Too bad there won't be a crowd going crazy. Too bad there won't be a crowd. Too bad there won't be an upset.” Got to give Boesch credit. He’s not doing as well as he would like in the standings, but his comments are getting better and better each week. It’s his inner-Herm Edwards being released.
Hug: “The Truman Show. St. Louis is stuck in a bubble and they can't get out. Maybe they will finish strong, but for now their world is full of confusion. Indy plays as the almighty and controls this game.” Hug used movies to describe every week seven match-up. However, I think he is describing Bruce Almighty instead of The Truman Show with this one.
MINNESOTA @ PITTSBURGH (-4.5)
“Brett Favre doesn’t want to lose.” And yes, I will be quoting Jess from here on out. “He just doesn’t.”
My Pick: MIN (+4.5)
Devin: “All-Time favorite ND game was the season opener against Pitt five years ago which was the Wann-stache return to Pitt glory game and Corso predicted ND might go 6-6. We rolled Pitt. Yep all-time favorite moment is against the mighty Pitt Panthers and the Wann-stache.” My all-time favorite moment was flipping of Bobby Bowden in 1993 during the #1-#2 Florida State-Notre Dame game.
Lay: “Shaquille O'Neal aka The Big Foreclosure aka The Big Pierogie: Just like Brett Favre attaching his sidecar to AP's motorcycle, Shaqtus has latched on to LBJ like white on rice in order to make one more run at glory late in his career. Boy, that Brett Favre REALLY loves to play football!” As a huge Bulls fan, it’s safe to say I hate the Cavs. But, I will be intrigued to see how the O’Neal signing affects Bron Bron. I’ve been saying for the longest time that he needs a true point guard to become a champion, and Shaq is the furthest thing from a true point guard.
Boesch: “I'm rooting for Brett Favre? That's like rooting for vegetables at dinner or clothes for Christmas. And just to spite me, the clothes would be Wranglers.” Do you smell that? That’s the smell of a QOTW contender for Boesch.
Hug: “Hardball. This game should be a well fought contest but will not be won till they play "Big Poppa" in the fourth quarter.” Somewhere Matt Barnes is shedding a tear.
Fiz: “Reason No. 1,438 why the Steelers are a better team than the Browns: you think a drunken Billy Cundiff would’ve tried to stop the cops from ticketing Steve Heiden for urinating in public?” No, but a drunken Phil Dawson sure would have.
Schaffer: A Favre-Roethlisberger match-up will certainly set an all-time record for pump fakes in a game.” Not gonna lie, when Schaffer gets his comments in on time, it adds just the right herbs and spices to this column, and the result is pure deliciousness.
NEW ENGLAND (-14.5) @ TAMPA BAY (At London)
“Tom Brady plays.” Works for me.
My Pick: NE (-14.5)
Devin: “Fairly certain this is a once in a lifetime pick…” D-Frank is backing the Bucs as they fly across the Atlantic to greet Devin - probably the only Tampa Bay fan in England.
Reamer: “I wonder if D-Frank will make it to this game to see his valiant Bucs, but they way they've been playing I think he's more pissed that he can't get away from them this season, even by leaving the country!” Talk about the proverbial salt in the wound.
Lay: “Mo Williams: As Mo has done with LeBron, Randy Moss took his glittering resume (sans Raiders) to NE and proved to be a much more valuable player with the absolute best distributing the ball to him. I think Mo is a bit cuter, however.” Mo was a good player hiding on a bad team in Milwaukee. It’s the best Danny Ferry-signing since he sold his soul to rig the Bron Bron draft.
Hug: “Without a Paddle. The Buccaneers are on a sinking ship without a paddle stuck in the middle of nowhere. They're going to be lost for a while.” Well they could always fire off one of those cannons … they have plenty of ammunition remaining. They sure as hell haven’t fired them much this season.
Schaffer: “As pirates, playing in Europe will be a more historically accurate setting for the Buccaneers than America, while taking the Patriots out of their comfort zone. Oh wait, they still have to play them in football.” Somewhere Paul Revere is silently nodding his head in agreement … and cracking open a Keystone Light. Oh yeah, Revere loves the stones. Believe it.
CHICAGO @ CINCINNATI (-1.5)
Jess works for ITT Tech, and her boss is a huge Chicago Bears fan. Since this is the QOA’s week, let’s go with the Bears in hopes of her boss being in a good mood come Monday. Plus, I don’t want to root for the Bengals ... ever.
My Pick: CHI (+1.5)
Lay: “Boobie Gibson: Hands down my least favorite basketball player ever. He's part of a rare breed of PGs who can't dribble or pass. Sometimes, he makes wide-open 3s. His game six against Detroit in '07 was the high point of his career, which has traveled a downward spiral ever since that game, much like the Bengals since their playoff shellacking against the Steelers in '06. Apparently even God couldn't help Jon Kitna achieve success as a Bengal. Jesus could, however, hit a curveball.” Boobie Gibson is the epitome of why I hate the Cleveland Cavs. Their fan base has the ability to take a below-average player, and after one good performance - anoint him as the next coming of Mark Price. That same principle can be said of Craig Ehlo’s entire career.
Hug: “Ocean's Eleven. The Bengals are those cardiac cats (except for last week) that go for that high risk high reward opportunity. Let's see if they provide a better sequel than last week's ending.” Better sequel and Ocean’s Eleven do not go hand in hand.
Schaffer: “I get that Chase Coffman can't block, but how many more times are the Bengals going to let Daniel Coates drop the ball with no one in sight? It's like watching Barnes on the field...exactly like it.” Apparently Matt Barnes couldn’t catch the swine flu in the Homecoming Flag Football game last weekend. All those who were surprised please raise your hand.
SAN DIEGO (-4.5) @ KANSAS CITY
If the QOA had to live in either of these cities, she would take San Diego (aka the Whale’s Vagina) in a heart-beat.
My Pick: SD (-4.5)
Lay: “Anthony Parker: Throughout his life, Anthony Parker has been overshadowed by his younger (but still large) sister, Candace. If you didn't know, she was the best dunker in high school in '04, where she performed her famous half-Dee Brown layup/dunk thing to succeed LeBron as the dunk champion. Matt Cassell was listed right behind OJ Simpson on USC's depth chart, and behind the antiques known as Flutie and Vinny in New England. However, both have blossomed now that they've escaped from the shadows, as well as attempted murder (who knew Cassel would live? He's white, OJ! Come on!).” Anthony Parker has the same problem Reggie Miller had. Being out-shined on the basketball court by a sibling … who happened to be a female.
Brian: “YAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNNN. Just look away. I swear, staring at it for too long may affect you forever.” God do I hate Norv Turner.
GREEN BAY (-6.5) @ CLEVELAND
After watching two Browns games, Jess knows that when Cleveland is playing, it’s time for a nap. You can’t blame her ... they make me want to shoot myself. “You should like Pittsburgh, they are way better than Cleveland.” (She said this without knowing anything regarding the Pittsburgh-Cleveland rivalry)
My Pick: GB (-6.5)
Shane: “The Browns playing with the flu is like chopping Petrellos other hand off and then telling him to go out and play receiver better than Barnes (oh wait, that would probably still happen) ... anyways it's so bad that Bodog took the game off the books.” This game will be Shane’s Slick Pick Of The Week, one he has not won yet. Could Shane be trying the reverse jinx with this pick? Trying to get the Browns to do the unthinkable? Or, is he simply trying to break the winless streak with the surest bet? I’m going with the latter.
Devin: “Minor rant here. On ESPN covering QB changes they were analyzing the Quinn vs Anderson situation and stated 'though the numbers are similar Anderson has lead the browns to their only win'. Really, he LEAD them? He went 2-17 for 30 odd yards. Why do we do this in American sports? Why do we put in so much B.S. phrases and clichés and dumb analysis? Drives me nuts.” D-Frank stepping it up and taking it to the next level with his comments in week seven.
Reamer: “I could in fact play better than DA, not doubt. Maybe not throw it 70 yards, but at least I know which color to throw too! And for the record, I put up great numbers as QB while winning the intramural flag football championship a couple years ago at Kent State. Sign me up Coach!” Not sure if Reamer parlayed that championship into a trip to the Flag Football Nationals, but if he did, he would have run into Matt Barnes. I’m all about the Six Degrees Of Separation theory.
Lay: “Departing from the theme for a second to bring this to everyone's attention: the Browns are on a three game win streak (against the spread)! Fun times in Cleveland again! Also, I'm going to the game and am going to party with Delonte West afterwards. He said I can ride in his side-car and hold his guitar case for safe-keeping. I anticipate a fried chicken covered in hot sauce, donut-eating good time.” Yes, these are my friends.
Brian: “If you are a Browns fan, read THIS . We're all in this together.” Great article, and a great find by Boesch.
Schaffer: “I hope the Packers run with this trend of bringing back former players. Today it's Ahman Green, tomorrow it could be Antonio Freeman. That's the world I want to live in.” Very strong possibility that Schaffer ends up with another QOTW for that effort. Outstanding.
SAN FRANCISCO @ HOUSTON (-3.5)
One of the weird things about Jess is that she hates bridges. Can’t stand them. Not sure if it’s their height, the water below, or the fear of a collapse. Whatever it is, I’m fairly certain the epitome of her fear would be driving across the Golden State Bridge.
My Pick: HOU (-3.5)
Brian: “Really an up-in-the-air battle here. Not sure how I would go on this one, so let's determine it the F'd Up way. Road team rolls first.
Roll #1: A quick start for the Texans, as they take a 9-7 lead early on.
Roll #2: By the way, I'm rooting for the 49ers. From a very reputable source (Rob Cornelius), he didn't see a Texans jersey at the Bengals-TEXANS game last week. Not a single one! He also saw Andre Smith's parents, who were also on Mr. 51-million-dollars dietary plan. And both teams are still better than the Browns. Awesome. Anyways...the second roll was also won by Texans, 7-6. HOU on top 16-13 early on.
Roll #3: Break out the Texans. After a snoozer of a 7 for the Niners, the Texans roll double-5s with a 4 on the and-one. Texans up big right now, 30-20, which by the way was my pick of the Ohio-Kent State score. See why I'm so awful at this stuff?
Roll #4: Hey, a comeback has to start somewhere. Niners win their first roll 6-5. Now 35-26 in favor of the team with no travelers.
Roll #5: A great late first half surge by the fighting Mike Singletary's. I'm sure he threatened to stare at Shaun Hill, which scared them into an 11. Only a 6 for Houston. At halftime, 41-37 Texans.
Roll #6: The Texans heard that someone cared about them (which was a lie), so they were motivated to outscore the Niners 9-7 in the round. 50-44 HOU.
Roll #7: San Fran with an 8 the unconventional way. Snake eyes, and-one a 6. Houston counters with a 9. Still up in the air with 3 rolls to go. HOU 59-52.
Roll #8: San Fran is lingering. It is a lingerer. But they are going to need a great end. HOU with the roll victory 8-7 and the lead...67-59.
Roll #9: OH MY GOD! It's time for the F'd Up Stat of the Week, and it was a memorable 9th roll for the 49ers. We saw FIVE rolls. FIVE!?!?!?! Four 2's, followed by a 4. I swear. Once I become a millionaire journalist (which will be never), I'm going to get a camera to make sure everything is run properly. Until now, I'll have to settle for the memory of me jumping up and rooting for the 4th 2 like I rooted for the Indians in the 90s. Truly remarkable. Oh, by the way, sorry to neglect you Texans (I know you're used to it), but you rolled a 6. It's a 2-point game as we head to roll #10. HOU up 73-71.
Roll #10: The Niners rolled a respectable 8, so Houston needs a 7 to win. Drumroll please. The roll.....oh no, one dice falls off the table, and the one I see is a 1!!!! The other......a 6!!!!!! Houston by one!!!! ONIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! ROMO IS HOMO!!!!!! (wow, what a versatile sentence...it showed up in a postgame celebration...gotta love it) In an instant classic, the Texans squeak by 80-79 in an absolute thriller. If that doesn't get your blood pumping and put goosebumps all over you, then you simply don't have a passion for dice and randomness.
So, the pick...Houston -3.5. Time to take a breather after that one.” How awesome was that?!? Doesn’t get any better, and with the 2009 F’d Up Tourney taking shape, I’m officially pumped.
Devin: “Or Weis 'cant win the big one'. Or any coach/player for that matter. GOD it drives me crazy. Manning, EITHER of them couldn't, and then they did. And both did it, and had shitty to average playoff games. Look at Peyton's playoff numbers before the Super Bowl win, you know when he was 'un-clutch' and 'couldn't win it all' then look at his playoff numbers when he won it. Maybe players and coaches loss because the other teams were better? Or it was possibly a bad match-up or a few untimely bad plays or series?” This is why Devin was the best co-anchor for a radio show I could ask for.
Schaffer: “Matt Schaub has thrown for more touchdowns than the entire 49ers team has scored. That's a real stat.” I’ve won just as many NBA Finals games as LeBron James. That’s also a real stat.
BUFFALO @ CAROLINA (-6.5)
“New York is greedy for having three teams in one state. That’s just ridiculous. And Buffalo doesn’t have a Manning play for them.” (Not quite sure how to respond to that random assortment of statements) And just for good matter, Jess adds, “Do you think anyone else will find this funny?” (As she laughs uncontrollably and her dog Frankie begs for another bone)
Frankie’s Boner Pick Of The Week: CAR (-6.5)
Reamer: “Oh, I could also put up more fantasy points than Trent Edwards, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jake Delhomme combined.” Somewhere Jason Campbell breathed a heavy sigh of relief for not being included in that comment.
Lay: “Coby Karl: Coby played basketball at Boise State. This game doesn't deserve to be played on the blue turf at Boise, but if it did, I'd make sure to throw lots and lots of potatoes onto the field in an effort to catch TO upside the head. It would be called a baked potato after it is launched from my laser rocket arm.” Isn’t this what Ryan Leaf currently does for a living?
Brian: “Remember who Terrell Owens is? How about Steve Smith? They're about as visible as Luke was at OU Homecoming this past weekend. Truly a weak effort on all accounts.” Touché Mr. Boesch. Touché.
NEW YORK JETS (-5.5) @ OAKLAND
Despite her hatred for three New York teams and her wanting to live in California, Jess takes the Jets. Which is tangible proof that I usually have no idea what women are thinking.
Not Gonna Watch And I Have Sunday Ticket Pick: NYJ (-5.5)
Shane: “I have no idea why I'm picking Oakland, but something about Hug's all Raiders gear this weekend has really inspired me....Plus I'd really like to know where all Sanchez's ass-kissers went??? Come out come out wherever you aaare!" Kudos to Huggy Bear for rocking the Raiders gear in A-Town last weekend.
Lay: “Bizarro Anderson Varejao (if that can even exist): While he doesn't stuff the stat sheet, he brings multiple intangibles to the table that can't be measured using a box score. Russell and Sanchize bring tangibles that can be measured in a box score, however. Those are in the column labeled ‘INT.’" See my comment for Boobie Gibson. Anderson Varejao qualifies nicely.
Brian: “The Wikipedia reference worked wonders for the Raiders last week. Well, how about one that will rattle the Sanchize. According to Wikipedia, Sanchez is ‘a symbol of Mexican-American identity and a role model for children.’ Good thing I'm not Mexican-American or a child.” And the week seven QOTW goes to …
Hug: “The Pursuit of Happyness. Both of these teams have dealt with some hardships the last few years, but their pursuit is endless, and hopefully worth the reward in the end, even if it is a few years away.” That’s some wishful thinking for an Oakland Raiders fan.
Fiz: “About a month ago, Mark Sanchez was on top of the world. Then he lost to Chad “Big Game” Henne. And then he lost to Ryan Fitzpatrick at home. And now he’s traveling cross-country to face…JaMarcus Russell. Sanchez may be going from Joe Namath status to Ken O’Brien status in a hurry here.” Say what you will about Brady Quinn, but he’s never lost to three quarterbacks that were as bad as the three Sanchez would lose to if he drops this game against Oakland. Whoa.
ATLANTA @ DALLAS (-4.5)
“Well, according to your blog, Romo is homo.” I heart the QOA. Oh yeah, she likes the cheerleaders as well. Which apparently Tony Romo doesn’t.
My Pick: DAL (-4.5)
Reamer: “Watching Roy E. Williams' awkwardness on the field (when he's not hurt) reminds me of Nick Lay on the basketball court. Lay made Tim Ritzler look athletic...Hell, Nick Lay makes Zydrunas Ilgauskus look athletic.” And the first official feud of 2009 begins right now. Kudos to Reamer for responding. In the words of the late Miles Lane, “Let’s get it on!”
Brian: “When are we going to see a punt hit the scoreboard? I blame Tony Romo and his homo-ness.” It doesn’t stop. It can’t stop. It won’t stop. Romo will forever be homo.
Hug: “The 40 Year Old Virgin. Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson before she got fat and he's never sealed the deal with a playoff victory. Romo is homo.” God I love my friends.
NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) @ MIAMI
Not only was Jess impressed with the Saints thrashing the Giants last week (“Poor Eli Manning”), but New Orleans was our first travel experience together in July. Drew Brees it is.
My Pick: NO (-6.5)
Lay: “Z: Unorthodox, slow, 7-footer who relies on his mid-range jumper yet somehow manages to consistently score 15 and grab 7 or 8 boards. Wildcat: Unorthodox, mildly successful, works against certain match-ups. Buffalo chicken pizza: Unorthodox, delicious going down, fiery on its way out.” Lay looking for yet another QOTW winner.
Fiz: “Everyone talks about how lucky the Saints were that the Dolphins didn’t sign Drew Brees. Did anyone stop to think that Brees is the lucky one for not having to play in some shit-tastic offense with putrid receivers?” It goes both ways. Maybe Ted Ginn develops a little faster with Brees back there. Maybe Marques Colston doesn’t develop as fast with Chad Pennington throwing him the ball. It’s the classic chicken and the egg conundrum.
Schaffer: “This match-up of former Big Ten QBs should be infinitely better than any game in the conference this season...how can a collection of 11 teams be so collectively bad offensively?” When there is no one specific to blame … blame affirmative action. It works every time.
ARIZONA @ NEW YORK GIANTS (-7.5)
Her love for Peyton Manning is so strong that she actually likes Eli Manning. “He’s pretty good, AND he gets paid more. Poor Peyton.” Don’t forget about the “funny Oreo commercials as well.”
My Pick: NYG (-7.5)
Lay: “Danny Ferry: Eli forced a draft day trade to the Giants. Ferry forced a trade after being drafted by the Clip Show. After many ups and downs, both would wind up winning titles, albeit with completely different roles. And yes, I just successfully compared the worst trade in Cavs history to acquire Ferry by dumping Ron Harper pre-knee surgeries to a Super Bowl winning QB.” Welcome to the life of a Cleveland sports fan. Where crazy-absurd analogies are common-place.
Fiz: “I see the Giants defense looking to make a statement at home and turning Kurt Warner into what he was when he played for…well, the Giants.” Solid QOTW contender for Fiz. Make sure to check out Fiz’s In The Zone this week. New format and I couldn’t be happier with it.
Schaffer: “My new cell phone ringer is Gus Johnson yelling "SPEED!" on a loop. That has nothing to do with this game but I felt like I had to mention it.” Couldn’t be prouder right now.
PHILADELPHIA (-6.5) @ WASHINGTON
“Washington’s uniforms are ugly.” Everything surrounding that Washington team right now could be accurately described as “ugly.”
My Pick: PHI (-6.5)
Devin: “Movie clip of the week:”
Lay: “Random member of LeBron's crew, aka the Four Horseman: While several of LBJ's cronies have spots in the front office of the Cavs, they lack any credentials whatsoever to be as high-ranking as they are. You can actually lump the entire Redskin organization into this category, from Daniel Snyder to Jim Zorn to Jason Campbell to the janitors.” I’m still waiting for Brady Quinn or Grady Sizemore to punch one of Bron’s boyz to get out of Cleveland. Or maybe Bron Bron will do it himself after the season, ripping off his shirt WWF style, unveiling a Knicks jersey? Good Gawwd! That's New York's music!!?!?!
Brian: “"The Eagles look to bounce back from a hard-fought loss to a black hole, while Todd Collins will try to revitalize the Washington high school offense" -Mike Tirico's MNF promo.” Big round of applause for Brian Boesch. His week seven e-mail will compete for the best e-mail of the year at our season ending awards banquet. Nick Lay’s week one e-mail is sweating right now.
Fiz: “So the Redskins pulled Sherman Lewis out of calling BINGO games in Detroit to call the plays for the rest of the season. What’s going to be worse is Jim Zorn taking my old job and ringing up groceries in Youngstown after this season.” Zorn couldn’t handle that much responsibility. Zorn would stare haphazardly into the distance and then immediately pass out when the first person asks him to double bag.
Schaffer: “I forgot to swap Peyton Manning for Jason Campbell on one of my fantasy teams last week, but in retrospect I'm glad. The 2.16 points he would have earned me wouldn't have been worth having to admit that I started Jason Campbell.” One of those awesome instances when fantasy and real life create comments like that.
So, even though two of the top four Gus Johnson candidates did not get comments in on time, the 2009 version of this league showed just how versatile it can be.
And now on to the special sections for this week.
Po's Knowledge Dropping - Vol. II - Num. VI
Week 6 in Review
By: Ryan PolitoMOST DOMINANT AND LEAST DOMINANT - Fans At Sporting Events
For the first time in Knowledge Dropping history I am putting something in both the most and least dominant category, because I just cant decide whether it is good or bad. I guess you will just have to read and decide for yourselves.
Usually I am highly opposed to fans running out of the stands and being drunken idiots all for attention, but a couple moments I saw this week were actually pretty entertaining.
First, at the Lakers-Nuggets preseason game JR Smith slipped and fell on the court while driving to the hoop. Normally the team has someone assigned to wipe off the court when a player hit’s the ground. However, no one did it this time, so during a timeout a fan decided to do it himself. Maybe because this was a preseason game security was optional, but the fan came out of the stands... grabbed a mop... and wiped off the court himself to a massive standing ovation. The best part about this is that the fan went back to his seat and was seen collecting money from his friends. Ain’t nothing like a friendly bet between friends.
The next incident happened during the Yankees-Angels ALCS Game 5. With the Angels in the lead and about to make the series 3-2 and send it back to New York, a fan in the outfield decided to jump out of his seat and into the fountain display the Angels have in center field. I don’t know if the fan was being a drunken idiot, or if again was doing it as a bet. The fan jumped into the water and started swimming in the fountain. I was stunned to see FOX actually put him on TV, but apparently they thought it was good clean fun as well.
When people must be idiots and try to be on TV, why do they always have to streak naked or attack players when just wiping off a court or swimming in a fountain gives you all the air time you will ever need.
Promo time: On Saturday November 7th, Phil Ivey goes for history as he sits down at the final table of the WSOP main event, the biggest and most prestigious poker tournament in the world. After the poker boom in 2003 it was said the main event field was too big for a big name pro to ever win it again. The final table will be LIVE on Espn PPV on Nov. 7th, and shown on ESPN Nov. 10 from 9-11pm. Hopefully in about two weeks time, Mr. Ivey will find his way onto my most dominant list.
**Watch out for Darvin Moon, who just may be the most unlikely poker world champion of all-time.
Cya, Go Steelers.
IN THE ZONE - Vol. I - Num. VII
By: Jason FazzoneI decided to take a bye week last week and in the process, figured that a change in content would be beneficial to me jumping Bart and Polito in the Special Section standings. From now on, the column will consist of anything I’ve thought about in the past week. So without further ado, my random thoughts of the week:
Speaking of bye weeks, “Bye Week” is still the greatest intramural football team name ever created: I’ll never forget winning our first intramural game freshman year because the other team thought they had an actual bye week. The only thing better than winning that game was costing those snot-nosed punks 20 bucks. Another reason I won’t forget that year is because I don’t think we won another game in intramural football in the following three years.
RIP Jasper Howard: You hate to see a young kid lose his life over something ridiculous. It was good to see UConn and West Virginia pay tribute to Howard during their game Saturday.
The LeBron/Shaq experiment finally begins Tuesday: Can’t wait to see how these two co-exist in what is the biggest season in Cavaliers history.
I have a Bart Borer story of my own: I met Bart in Mobile when a group of us were down there for the GMAC Bowl. On the night I met him, Bart proceeded to drink an entire bottle of champagne we bought at Wal-Mart. He then straggled toward my bed and climbed into it as soon as I was about to fall asleep. From there, he managed to scoot me over until I was on the edge of the bed, about to fall off. And finally, he put his arm around me not once, but twice. I slept on the floor that night and used my jacket as a blanket. I haven’t been the same since.
The Steelers played teams with former Ohio players two weeks in a row: I don’t think this one Lions fan believed me when I told him I had a class with Landon Cohen. Then again, Lions fans didn’t believe us when we told them the Steelers would collapse in the fourth quarter or that the Lions would choke as soon as their mascot stomped on the Terrible Towel.
I have the highest one-week point total in my fantasy football league: Adrian Peterson didn’t reach the end zone and I still scored 179 points this past week. That’s what happens when Tom Brady goes into God mode, though.
Roger Goodell is a tyrant: He fined Ochocinco $10,000 for wearing the wrong-colored chinstrap. His children have to be either the most scared kids in the country that don’t have the last name of Gosselin or chemical-huffing fiends who are buddy-buddy with Lindsay Lohan.
Journalism sucks: So much for those four years of toiling away in the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism and listening to Bernhard Debatin drone on about media ethics: I took a job working in the cash department of the largest private ambulance supplier in the country.
Shark Tank > LOST/Flash Forward: I like to watch shows that are, I don’t know…real?
I really hope Cincinnati meets Boise State for the BCS Title: Anything to save me from a three-hour love-fest session on Tim Tebow, Nick Saban and Colt McCoy.
I wish I was going to be in Athens for Halloween: Girls in sexy costumes never gets old.
I need to rebound from a poor week ATS this past week: Last time I had a sub-.500 week, I bounced back with one of my best weeks to date. I hope the trend continues here.
I haven’t picked a Steelers game right all season: If a couple plays go the other way (see Hines Ward’s fumble opening night, the Bears/Bengals finishes), I’d feel a lot better about myself.
The Steelers will beat the Vikings Sunday, but won’t cover: It’s the late-game magic of Brett Favre versus the late-game magic of “Renegade” at Heinz Field (search “steelers renegade” on YouTube if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) I’m taking Styx every time.
Ryan Polito still sucks at picking games and writing columns. There’s your knowledge-dropping of the week.
Until next week, go Steelers!
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Not gonna lie, I thought this was the most well-rounded column of the entire season. We have excellent comments from multiple sources, several feuds developing within the league, and two superb special sections.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
