It's hard to believe that the NFL regular season is half way over. In the next several weeks teams will try to seperate themselves from the middle of the pack to playoff contenders. In our pick'em however, there is very little seperation anywhere. Four games is the biggest gap between any two players. At the half way point it appears as if this is going to come down to the very last week.
The Grothaus Scandal of 2007 has been ruled upon. After getting feedback from the entire league, I have decided to give Grothaus three more wins which puts him in a tie for 7th place. Now if Grothaus goes on to win this thing by one or two I might have a mutiny on my hands. Staying with players in this pick'em I apologize to Mr. Normand. You are absolutely right, no more Jeff. I don't know what I was thinking. And lastly, with regards to Barnes, expect an e-mail and/or phone call sometime later today.
Okay, now that I got the business aspect of this post taken care of, I can move onto the pleasure side.
I thought it would be fitting to give half-way awards to not only the NFL players, but to players of this pick'em as well. Sit back and enjoy. The first annual Skywalker's are ready to begin.
MVP - Tom Brady. No surprise here. He is the best quarterback in the league and is on pace to throw 60 TD's and 4 INT's. He could take four weeks off and still be a sure bet for this award.
Offensive Player of the Year - See above.
Defensive Player of the Year - Osi Umenyiora. Basing this solely on one game earlier this year against the Eagles where he sacked McNabb six times.
Coach of the Year - Eric Mangini. Even though his Jets are at 1-7 he is the sole reason the Patriots are killing everyone.
Surprise Player of the Year - Derek Anderson. If the Pro Bowl started today, he would be the third QB in the AFC behind Manning and Brady. He has thrown the 2nd most TD's in the league and has the Browns sitting at 4-3.
Best Moment of the Year - Walking back from the Ravens-Browns game back in week four. It took seven tries, but I finally got to experience a Browns win. High fives and smiles from the masses was something I had never seen in Cleveland Browns Stadium.
Worst Moment of the Year - Sitting in the poring rain with Lucius during the Steelers-Browns game. Opening day started with the most excitement I had ever seen before. And then the game started. It was over after the Browns had four penalties on one play. The rain just made it perfect.
Rookie of the Year - Adrian Peterson. This guy is for real. Joe Thomas has been great, but man, Peterson would have looked amazing in a Browns uniform.
Game of the Year - Dallas 25 Buffalo 24 - Week Five - It could have been the Browns-Bengals game from week two but this Monday Night game was incredible. The Cowboys rallied to win it as time expired when they had to kick the game winning field goal, twice.
Now, on to our pick'em league.
MVP - The New England Patriots. I mean come on, they are 8-0 ATS!!
Mr. Consistency - Yours truly. I hate to brag, but my worst week has been 7-9 back in week two. Every other week I've been over .500, no one else can say that.
Best E-mails - Kevin Hunt. Bart was a close second, but Kevin has come through almost every week from the other side of the world.
THE Best E-Mail - Bart Borer, Week Nine. He might offend some, but he has without a doubt the funniest e-mail I have ever received.
Person to Look Out for in the 2nd Half - Matt Barnes. This guy was at the top after two weeks, and then hit a rough spot. However, I could see him picking up steam down the stretch.
Mr. Reliable - Mr. Normand. He always comes through with his picks and always has a great comment for every single game. No one else can say this.
Biggest Controversy - Michael Grothaus, Week Eight. He simply forgot.
Best Radio Show Partner - Devin Frank. O.C.R Tuesday's @ 9 on WHEI 88.9 FM.
Best Fantasy Player - Sara Normand. I said so way back in week one, and she has not let me down. Her team McNabb It is good. Really good. Almost like the Patriots good.
Well that wraps up the first annual Skywalker's. Onto the picks.
STANDINGS (after eight weeks)
1) Luke 67-49 (8-5)
2) Sara 63-53 (6-7)
3) Devin 62-54 (8-5)
4) Kevin 61-55 (9-4)
5) Mr. Normand 59-57 (8-5)
6) Bart 56-60 (8-5)
7) Barnes 54-62 (8-5)
7) Grothaus 54-62 (4-9)
Washington (-3.5) @ New York Jets
How good are the Patriots? Well, they smoke the Redskins 52-7 and then next week the Redskins are favored ON THE ROAD by over a field goal. Just another way Belichick is sticking it to Mangini. Pick: Washington
As I currently write this, Kevin has not gotten his picks in. I'm headed to his house this afternoon, so we'll get them then.
Bart gets things started on a great note by giving the Jets something else to spell, "J-E-T-S!Suck! Suck! Suck! Should be the new chant in New York."
Mr. Normand tried, but could not think of a single reason to pick the Jets.
WAS: Luke, Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
NYJ:
Green Bay @ Kansas City (-2.5)
I still do not trust these Packers. Especially coming off of a road Monday Night game. In Herm Edwards I Trust. Pick: Kansas City
Mr. Normand follows my line of thinking, "Green Bay hangover from Monday Night Football."
Bart puts things in perspective however, "I have to take a 6-1 team getting points to a 4-3 team." We'll see.
GB: Sara, Devin, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
KC: Luke, Mr. Normand
Arizona @ Tampa Bay (-3.5)
Going with the Bucs. Don't know why. I hate the NFC. Pick: Tampa Bay
Bart and I both agree when he says, "I dont really care about either of these teams, but I would like to live in either of these places." Absolutely.
Mr. Normand says, "Another great match-up of NOBODIES."
Does the NFC have to be represented in the Super Bowl?
ARI: Mr. Normand, Grothaus
TB: Luke, Sara, Devin, Bart, Barnes
Carolina @ Tennessee (-4)
Playing a hunch that the Titans will win by three. Call me crazy. Pick: Carolina
I think Devin is asking for a provisional pick when he says, "Vince Young rule (he must start)."
Mr. Normand says the Panthers are falling apart. I guess he is referring to the fact that Vinny Testaverde is STARTING. Wow.
CAR: Luke
TEN: Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
San Francisco @ Atlanta (-3)
The Falcons are favored by three? This is insane! The oddsmakers must know something that I don't. Seriously though, we have more players in this pick'em league than will actually attend this game. Pick: San Francisco
Mr. Normand does the correct thing by flipping a coin for this game with three total wins between them.
Bart has another great point, "I don’t think they (Atlanta) can score enough to cover, even when they are getting points." I love my friends.
SF: Luke, Sara, Devin, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
ATL: Mr. Normand
Jacksonville @ New Orleans (-3.5)
Keep riding the hot team until they let you down. Right now the Saints are on fire. Pick: New Orleans
Bart had plenty of options, but this came through as the quote of the week, "I had to throw some love to the Saints this week, it is the least I can do, because I will probably not make it to mass on All Saints Day, a holy day of obligation. I think I just got struck by lightning, which is weird because I am in an office, and it is nice outside. Yikes!"
Mr. Normand asks a really good question, "Drew lighting it up--who is the Jags QB anyway?"
I believe the answer is Quinn Gray. Yeah, I like my pick a lot more now.
JAX: Sara, Grothaus
NO: Luke, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes
Denver @ Detroit (-3)
The Broncos are just 1-6 ATS this year. While the Lions are 5-2 ATS overall, 2-0 ATS while being favored, and 3-0 ATS @ home. Numbers like that make this easy. Pick: Detroit
Sara hands out some hardware, "Jon Kitna wins my award for best Halloween costume ... he and his wife went as a naked man and drive-thru attendant as a tribute to one of the Lions coaches who got arrested for going through a drive-thru naked. I would've never expected this from this man." Is it too late to change my pick?
Mr. Normand senses a high scoring affair, with Kitna throwing a couple TD's. My fantasy team, Brady's Bunch would like to see those TD's tossed to Kevin Jones and Calvin Johnson.
DEN: Sara, Devin, Barnes
DET: Luke, Mr. Normand, Bart, Grothaus
Cincinnati @ Buffalo (PK)
For the first time all year we have a straight up pick'em. The Bills are 4-0 ATS at home this year. However they are throwing J.P. Losman out there this week. I can't back Losman. Not a chance. Pick: Cincinnati
Devin adds a comment that I cannot post. It involves asking "Who Dey?" And then answering said question. Lucius knows the answer.
Sara gives the Bengals the '07 award for team chemistry. I love it.
Bart, who is 2-0 when he does this, has another provisional pick, "The team that is wearing the darker jerseys. Both teams suck, the team that attracts the most sunlight with its jerseys will stay the warmest during the game which will in turn lead to victory."
Mr. Normand is enjoying the empty bandwagon in Cincy. I would imagine it's been quiet there in Cincy the last couple of weeks.
CIN: Luke, Devin, Barnes
BUF: Sara, Mr. Normand, Grothaus
San Diego (-7.5) @ Minnesota
The following scenario is all set to begin.
I start believing in this Chargers team.
They start looking good and covering games.
Norv Turner senses this and then when I start backing them, does something that makes absolutely no sense. For example, pulling LT in the 2nd half.
The Chargers quit on Turner.
Get ready folks. Pick: San Diego
Bart thinks the real coaching is coming from somebody else, "The Chargers are back, I think LaDanian Tomlinson may be doing the actual coaching now. Ron Turner is just a figure head, kinda like the Queen of England, they make a lot of money but don’t do any work." Yep, he said Ron Turner. Yes, these are my friends.
Mr. Normand says that the Chargers are finally starting to find the endzone on both sides of the ball.
SD: Luke, Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
MIN:
Seattle @ Cleveland (-1)
Kind of a big game for this Browns team. If they have any hopes of making it to the playoffs they either need to win the AFC North, or probably have 10 wins at least. It needs to be seen if Derek Anderson can come through against a decent team. These next three games are going to be crucial. Home vs. Seattle, At Pittsburgh and At Baltimore. Gotta get this one. Pick: Cleveland
Sara comes through with yet another award, "It needs to be noted that the Browns get the award for playing New England the closest out of anyone through this entire season!!!! BROWNIES!" While this is true it may have something to do with Belichick and Crennel still getting along.
It should be pointed out that Sara is 7-0 picking Seattle games. Go Browns.
Bart sees bad things in this match-up for the Browns, "The Brownies are due for a let down, they haven’t won three in a row in 45652566325665365 years." It's true, I looked it up.
Mr. Normand is wishing for a time change in this game, and for good reason, "Wish it was at 1PM - will be at Quicken arena watching while waiting for Springsteen!!!" Doesn't get too much better than that.
SEA: Devin, Bart, Barnes
CLE: Luke, Sara, Mr. Normand, Grothaus
New England (-5.5) @ Indianapolis
They are calling it Super Bowl 41.5. It's the first time in NFL history that teams with at least a 7-0 record are playing each other. The winner will be in the driver seat for AFC home field advantage. The loser will still only be just one game back. I honestly think the Patriots are going to destroy this Colts team. Then, all the talk will shift to whether or not the Patriots will go 19-0. You will also then see a segment on ESPN matching up this Patriots team to all the great NFL teams of all-time. Kirk Herbstreit is already on record of taking the Patriots except if they would play the 2005 USC team. Pick: New England
Bart wants to pick New England but can't go against the Colts at home while getting points.
Mr. Normand is relieved to finally have a game that means something, other than the Browns of course.
Sara pours a glass of haterade for Bill Simmons, "I planned on picking Indi a couple weeks ago but I got embarrassed last week by picking Washington. I'm not making that mistake again. I blame Bill Simmons. After making all my picks I saw we made 9 of 12 the same ... Let's just say his wife is doing better than him."
NE: Luke, Sara, Devin, Grothaus
IND: Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes
Houston @ Oakland (-3)
Not picking Houston again until they get healthy. Andre Johnson is not coming back until week 11. Oh, did I mention I'm 8-0 picking Texans games? Pick: Oakland
Bart flipped a coin, which landed Heads. He picked Houston because they both started with an "h". What's not to love?
I seriously feel bad for Gus Johnson. He should be doing the Colts-Pats game. A game of that magnitude deserves Gus. Instead he is sittting at Oakland writing hate mail to Jim Nantz and Greg Gumbel.
HOU: Sara, Bart, Barnes
OAK: Luke, Devin, Mr. Normand, Grothaus
Dallas (-3) @ Philadelphia
Picking the Cowboys. Let the comments about Andy Reid's house begin. Pick: Dallas
Bart's got a good one about Reid's kids, "I think Andy Reid should start hanging out with his sons more, not so he can keep them out of trouble, but rather so he can let loose and have more fun. Just a thought, his sons seem like they know how to party."
It should be noted that authorities called Reid's house a "drug imporium." Now, I don't know what the levels of drug houses are, but I would think "imporium" would be high on that list.
Mr. Normand takes the high road (pun intended) by saying the Eagles need the win, but won't get it.
DAL: Luke, Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
PHI:
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (-9)
The Ravens are 1-6 ATS. The only team that is worse are the Rams at 1-7. I'd love to take the points with this one, but I've been getting killed picking against the Steelers this year. Pick: Pittsburgh
Sara backs the Steelers and then hopes she is wrong for the Browns sake. Mr. Normand does the same.
Bart is thanking the Steelers for making the entire city of Cincy quiet for yet another week.
BAL:
PIT: Luke, Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Bart, Barnes, Grothaus
That wraps it up for the picks. Like I mentioned earlier, I will be getting Kevin's picks soon.
Now I give the microphone to Bart. He said he spent four hours coming up with the following, and let me be the first to tell you, it was time well spent.
BART'S THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK
"First of all, I am not a man to toot my own horn very often (though I do toot quite regularly), but I am gonna have to say that my Nacho Libre costume was the best costume in all of Oxford last weekend. Also since I know there are some OU students in our group (past, present, and future, with Luke being the past and the future part of that statement), I was told that my costume would have been the best one in Athens as well, so I must have done something right. I am guessing that is was a mixture of a couple things. First I kinda look like Jack Black anyway, so that was a big help. Second, I grew and pampered a 100% all-natural mustache, that way I wasn’t just playing the part, I was BEING the part. Third, I did not wear a shirt of any kind throughout the whole night, so for all of you who don’t know my central region very well, I got to show off my sweet chest and stomach hair, which was very interesting in the mall and at a house party and at the bars in uptown Oxford. Last but not least, I was half of a handle into a bottle of rum before I did anything, so that may have been the biggest help of all.
To Kevin, I agree that we should stop trying to pick the Boring Game of the Week. Collectively we are a very big 0 for 2 in our picks, because each of our picks may have actually been the most exciting game of its respective week. We suck, there is nothing more to it than that.
As for the Grothaus situation, we should do one of two things. We should either make the 1-12 record stand because it seems as if Luke really tried to get a hold of him and lets face it, we do not need to be baby-sitted (sat?) anymore, we are all adults and we have one simple task for this each week and it is really not that hard. To be honest, it can be as simple as sending Luke a text that says “I pick all underdogs this week," that takes three seconds, maybe four if you have fat fingers like me and will usually give you about a .500 winning percentage. I only know this because I have done this, or a slight variation of this, three different times and I think my winning percentage for those weeks is actually higher than the weeks I try to think about each game individually. Anyway, my second option is that we give him those extra three wins and then kill him, so that way he doesn’t beat me by one win for second-to-last place at the end of the year.
Awards:
Diversity Award: Matt Barnes
Way-To-Complicated Ballbuster Pick of the Week Award: Kevin Hunt
Horrible Boring Game of the Week Picker Award: Kevin Hunt, Bart Borer
Consistently Knowledgeable Comments Award: Jeff Normand, Devin Frank
The I Have Way Too Much Free Time, So I Write A Really Awesome, Sarcastic, And Funny Blog Award: Luke Florence
No Comments Ever Award: Mike Grothaus
The I Stay Up Until All Hours Of The Day and Night To Watch Sports In The US Via Webcam Award: Sara Normand, Kevin Hunt
For those of you that don’t know this, Kevin Hunt is very short and isn’t going to get taller anytime soon. That is why I decided to give him three awards and everyone else just one. Since I can’t boost his eye level, I thought I would give his ego a boost.
Good luck to everyone except Barnes, not for any other reason than I don’t want to get last in this God forsaken contest of trying to pick which millionaire a-hole athletes are actually going to care about their job for any given week. I have come to the conclusion that it is like trying to predict the exact time that I am gonna take my afternoon dump, its hard to do because most of the time I don’t even know what I am gonna eat for lunch, which makes a big difference … I suck and I know it, I just needed a place to vent. Peace. Love. Hot Dogs."
That is exactly what I had in mind when I came up with that segment.
Best of luck to everyone, and until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
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