With the leaves on the trees changing colors, jackets getting pulled out of hibernation, and baseball starting their postseason action, it can only mean one thing ... fall is here.
While there is no debate why fall is the greatest season of them all, there can be plenty of sorrow in the slow disappearance of summer. No more afternoons spent at the pool checking out the girls. No more t-shirt and short days. No more long days. No more.
In a couple of weeks, when it gets really chilly, most of us will wish we had 500 Days of Summer instead of just 90 or so.
No, 500 Days of Summer does not deal with an extended heat wave, instead, it is more of a unique take on the classic tale of boy meets girl, boy falls in love, girl breaks boy's heart.
It happens to all of us, and it happened to Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this terrific movie.
Maybe you believe in fate, maybe you don't, but beliefs can sometimes change when life gets in the way.
As for this league, many of us are experiencing differing degrees of struggle, and we are hoping that will change before it's too late.
SEATTLE @ CHICAGO (-7.5)
"You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me." - Summer
I have been almost nothing but wrong with my Sunday Ticket Pick this year. Here's to hoping Jay Cutler pulls a Todd Collins ... yikes.
My Pick: SEA (+7.5) - Sunday Ticket Not Gonna Watch Pick of the Week
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is such a copycat, he heard about Ochocinco's name change and almost made his "Ben Buffet" just to match." Kevin Hunt has been so excited for this e-mail ... it's been a year in the making. What follows is his full array of Big Ben jokes which will certainly be in the running for e-mail of the year.
Jake: "I wasn’t convinced how this one was gonna go, but it just seemed the probability of Julius Peppers killing Matt Hasselbeck was just too great." Does Hasselbeck even play anymore? How has he not turned into Kerry Collins is simply amazing or speaks to lack of QB depth in Seattle.
MIAMI @ GREEN BAY (-0.5)
"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated." - Tom
The Miami Dolphins are the most underrated team in the league, while the Green Bay Packers may be the most overrated team. Having said that, I'm taking the Pack.
My Pick: GB (-0.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so fat, he didn't call Taco John's to see IF they delivered, he called to say they HAD to deliver." Just another thing that Big Ben tells people they HAVE to do.
Jake: "I won’t pick against them, even as injuries turn them into a scout team." It's blind loyalty like this that will hurt Jake in the long run.
KANSAS CITY @ HOUSTON (-4.5)
"Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?" - Tom
If the loser of this game fails to make the playoffs, they will look back to this as one of the first signs of trouble.
My Pick: HOU (-4.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so dopey, he saw a picture of himself on peopleofwalmart.com ... and laughed hysterically." Never been to that website, but I have a pretty good idea as to what's on there.
Jake: "If the Texans and Matt…oh my god, the new Bobby Flay Throwdown commercial just made me have a seizure…" Was it this one? ...
BALTIMORE @ NEW ENGLAND (-3.5)
"Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... she's a robot." - Tom
Either way, Ray Lewis would probably try and kill her ... and then get away with it.
My Pick: NE (-3.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so douchey, he fit in at Miami of Ohio in every way (well, sorry, every way except for the Nick Lays of the world)." Hunt should have just ended it without the parentheses. Let's get another feud started.
Jake: "With Randy Moss out of the picture, it’s time for Taylor Price to shine." How many receivers does New England have? I picked up Justin Edelman thinking the same thing.
DETROIT @ NEW YORK GIANTS (-10.5)
"If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... Tom had finally learned, there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now." - Narrator
It's going to take a miracle for the Lions to win this one.
My Pick: NYG (-10.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so bad with money, he makes Detroit look like Charles Schwab (yay Detroit!!)." If Brian Boesch was still with us he would be proud.
Jake: "I just get this feeling that this will be a shootout. Go Lions!! Make Manning face!!" If it was in Detroit, then no question about it ... guns would be a blazing.
ATLANTA @ PHILADELPHIA (-3.5)
"I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it." - Tom
This is how Andy Reid feels about Michael Vick right now. Unfortunately, Kevin Kolb is kind of acting like the third-wheel.
My Pick: ATL (+3.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so unpopular, he was almost the target of the shooting at Michael Vick's birthday party, but he didn't get invited." Probably because all the females present at said party would have just said 'yes.'
Jake: "SEABISCUIT PICK OF THE WEEK: I won’t cheer for the Eagles until my dog is back under center, electrifying everyone in sight." Jake sent me a text a couple weeks ago talking about how his dog got hurt, and he had me thinking he had an actual dog. That's how close Jake is with Vick this year.
CLEVELAND @ PITTSBURGH (-13.5)
"Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real." - Paul
When Mike Holmgren drafted Colt McCoy I very much doubt he dreamed McCoy would make his NFL debut on the road against the Steelers ... but it's very much reality.
Could be worse though ... it could have been Jake Delhomme.
My Pick: PIT (-13.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben has such a small penis, his victim dropped rape charges." And the week six QOTW goes to ...
Jake: "This is the week I’ve been waiting for when I drafted Big Ben on my fantasy team. I’ve been dangling Matt Schaub as trade bait much the way Ben used to (still does) dangle Little Ben in Georgia bars." Not so fast my friends, Jake Young puts in his two cents for the QOTW as well.
SAN DIEGO (-8.5) @ ST. LOUIS
"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memory made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life." - Narrator
This game will have zero impact on my life whatsoever ... and I couldn't be more thrilled. Let's just move on.
My Pick: SD (-8.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so wacky, he likely spent his suspension weeks wearing a funny-looking hat at a BET taped concert that featured a white Ray Charles." Which, for those of you that don't know, is where the original Big Ben Game originated.
Jake: "Whenever I see a game involves St. Louis, my brain turns off. Also, suck it Cardinals. Just sayin." Not to be confused with the ever-so-popular, Suck It Barnes.
NEW ORLEANS (-4.5) @ TAMPA BAY
"Look, I know you think that she was the one, but I don't. No, I think you're just remembering the good stuff, next time you look back, I, uh, I think you should look again." - Rachel
Remembering the good stuff is all New Orleans can do right now, because they sure aren't creating any new memories worth remembering.
My Pick: NO (-4.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben hates the environment so much that he told BP to allow the oil spill so New Orleans, Houston and all of the Gulf could experience the black Steel Curtain defense on the coast." Thought Hunt was going to make a comparison about smothering fishes with smothering girls in bathrooms.
Jake: "Raheem is still trying to say his team sucks, so I guess I’ll take him at his word. Coaches don’t lie, right??" As Stephen King put it, "Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty."
NEW YORK JETS (-3.5) @ DENVER
"Sorry, I'm sorry, I um, I quit. There's enough bullshit in the world without my help." - Tom
Bullshit like the belief that Mark Sanchez is a good QB while Brady Quinn can't even find the sidelines these days?
My Pick: DEN (+3.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so cheap, he wouldn't buy Braylon Edwards a cab." Instead, he'd probably ask a drunken Edwards for a free ride, because we all know how much Big Ben likes free rides.
Jake: "If God has a sense of humor, he’ll end the Jets season in some hilariously, awful way." Hopefully with Braylon Edwards behind the wheel.
OAKLAND @ SAN FRANCISCO (-6.5)
"Misery, sadness, loss of faith, no reason to live... This is perfect for you." - Vance
Anyone who watches more than five minutes of this contest will experience all of the above.
My Pick: SF (-6.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so ethically corrupt, he asks Michael Vick for management advice... to use on women." That actually makes sense.
Jake: "So, the maintenance guy at my apartment complex walked into my place today without knocking or saying a word. I woke up to the sound of my door opening. He never said a word until I got out of bed and asked him what he was doing. Who does that?? Also, Jerry Rice fumbled." Last year Bart Borer told a similar story involving a hotel maid and his bare ass.
DALLAS @ MINNESOTA (-1.5)
"It pains me that we live in a world where nobody's heard of Spearmint." - Tom
It pains me that we live in a world where everyone has seen Brett Favre's gentle giant.
My Pick: DAL (+1.5)
Hunt: "Big Ben is so gay, He makes Elton John look straight. Romo is homo." There's the Big Ben/Romo haiku I've been waiting nearly a year for. Well worth it.
Jake: "I tweeted the other day, 'What would you do if Favre sent you a picture of his dong?' I got one response. 'Right click>>Set as background' I’m guessing that’s what Romo did when he got his copy." Watch out Jeff Schaffer ... here comes Jake Young climbing up the Gus Johnson standings.
INDIANAPOLIS (-2.5) @ WASHINGTON
"There's only two kinds of people in the world. There's women, and there's men. Summer Finn was a woman." - Narrator
There's only two kinds of QB's in the world. There's good ones, and there's bad ones. Peyton Manning is a good one.
My Pick: IND (-2.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so odd and egotistical, when he gets sick, he makes soup and calls it 'life saving chicken broth-lisberger.'" Yes, these are my friends.
Jake: "Manning Face will be AWOL in this one." Nationally televised game = no Manning Face (unless its the playoffs).
TENNESSEE (-2.5) @ JACKSONVILLE
"It's love, it's not Santa Claus." - Tom
And if the Jacksonville Jaguars win this game, I won't believe in Santa either.
My Pick: TEN (-2.5)
Hunt: "Yo Big Ben is so sloppy, when he eats he makes Barnes look elegant." Couldn't be happier with Kevin Hunt's Big Ben E-mail. Finished it off with a gem. Barnes' poor eating habits probably stem back to the fact he never sat at a table in elementary school.
Jake: "The Music City Miracle was a forward pass. Just so everyone knows."
Agreed.
That's all she wrote for week six. Do yourself a favor and go see 500 Days of Summer.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
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