My apologies for having such an abbreviated post this week. I'm going to be on the road much of the weekend and I did not allocate enough time for me to put up my usual 3,000 word column. This one will be more like 300.
Week Two of the NFL was bizarre. We saw the Cleveland Browns score 51 points and actually win. A couple years ago they scored 48 points and still managed to lose by double digits. We also saw the Detroit Lions and Minnesota Vikings play in a game that can only be described as "downright ugly." It was one of those games where the teams were being overly polite throughout, "no, you go ahead and win, we really don't want to" or "no really, we don't mind." It was fitting FOX televised the game. As Homer Simpson put it, "I'm the worst thing to happen in sports since FOX." Absolutely.
In our picks we saw Sara have the best week, posting a 10-6 record. Sara managed to pick up two games on the entire field as the next closest went just 8-8. Barnes remains on top after two weeks, with a three way tie for second just two games back. Grothaus and Bart both took two steps in the wrong direction, each going 5-11.
STANDINGS
1) Barnes 19-13 (8-8)
2) Devin 17-15 (8-8)
2) Sara 17-15 (10-6)
2) Mr. N 17-15 (8-8)
5) Luke 16-16 (7-9)
6) Kevin 15-17 (7-9)
6) Grothaus 15-17 (5-11)
8) Bart 13-19 (5-11)
A couple of notes before the abbreviated picks. Kevin and Sara both had dreams last week involving the Cleveland Browns. Hunt dreamed he played for the Browns and after scoring a TD, Webster Slaughter came on to the field to celebrate. Sara meanwhile dreamed of marrying Derek Anderson. No joke. Bart meanwhile was so upset after last week he turned to Bone Thugs N' Harmony for all of his picks this week. The song Bart picked was "Thugs Mentality." If the team or region was represented in the song, Bart picked them for Week Three. Yes, these are my friends.
Indianapolis (-6) @ Houston
The Texans are playing without WR Andre Johnson. QB Matt Schaub won't know where to throw the ball. Pick: Indianapolis
Ind: Sara, Kevin, Mr. Normand, Devin, Luke, Barnes, Grothaus
Hou: Bart "My Texas thugs."
San Diego (-4.5) @ Green Bay
L.T has yet to return to his normal form. Expect him to get back to business this week. Pick: San Diego
SD: Sara, Mr. Normand, Devin, Luke, Barnes, Grothaus, Bart "My California thugs."
GB: Kevin
Minnesota @ Kansas City (-2.5)
Like I said last week. TAVARIS JACKSON ON THE ROAD!! TAVARIS JACKSON ON THE ROAD!! Pick: Kansas City
Min: Sara, Mr. Normand, Devin, Barnes, Grothaus
KC: Kevin, Luke, Bart "My Kansas City thugs."
Detroit @ Philadelphia (-6.5)
Six and a half points is a lot for a team that hasn't won a game facing a team that hasn't lost a game yet. If Donovan McNabb thinks he gets a lot of criticism, wait until they lose this one at home. Pick: Detroit
Det: Devin, Mr. Normand, Luke, Barnes, Bart "My Detroit thugs"
Phi: Sara, Kevin, Grothaus
Buffalo @ New England (-16.5)
This is the biggest spread we have seen all year. Until the Patriots stop covering, I'm not going to stop picking them. Pick: New England
Buf: Sara, Kevin, Mr. Normand, Barnes, Bart "My N.Y thugs", Devin
NE: Luke, Grothaus
Miami @ New York Jets (-3)
The Jets did not look that bad last week at Baltimore. Here's to hoping they continue that trend. Pick: New York Jets
Mia: Barnes, Bart "My Miami thugs"
NYJ: Sara, Kevin, Mr. Normand, Devin, Luke, Grothaus
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (-8.5)
Pittsburgh had without a doubt the worst uniforms I've ever seen last week. For that reason alone, I'm taking the points. Pick: San Francisco
SF: Sara, Luke, Barnes, Grothaus, Bart "My California thugs"
Pit: Kevin, Mr. Normand, Devin
Arizona @ Baltimore (-8)
I still don't have a good feeling about this Cardinals team. Something tells me they could actually even win this game. I'm going against that feeling however. Pick: Baltimore
Ari: Sara, Devin, Grothaus, Bart "My Arizona thugs"
Bal: Kevin, Mr. Normand, Luke, Barnes
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (-3.5)
Tampa Bay is not capable of having a winning streak, and RB Steven Jackson has yet to have a big game. Pick: St. Louis
Stl: Sara, Devin, Kevin, Luke, Grothaus, Barnes, Bart "My St. Louis thugs"
TB: Mr. Normand
Jacksonville @ Denver (-3)
Denver is 2-0, yet 0-2 ATS. To make matters worse, I've picked them both weeks. As our President G.W. Bush put it, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice ... we can't be fooled again." You got it G.W. Pick: Jacksonville
Jax: Luke, Grothaus, Sara
Den: Kevin, Devin, Barnes, Mr. Normand, Bart "My Colorado thugs."
Cincinnati @ Seattle (-3)
Seattle let me down big time last week. If Cincy can get two stops on defense, they should win. Pick: Cincinnati
Cin: Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Luke, Grothaus, Barnes, Bart "My Cincinnati thugs."
Sea: Kevin
Cleveland @ Oakland (-3)
Last week everyone picked against Cleveland. This week, everyone is picking with Cleveland. Such is the life of the Cleveland Browns. Pick: Oakland
Cle: Sara, Devin, Mr. Normand, Kevin, Bart "Cleveland in the house."
Oak: Luke, Barnes, Grothaus
Carolina (-4) @ Atlanta
Not picking the Falcons until they name Leftwich the starter. Won't be this week. Pick: Carolina
Car: Sara, Mr. Normand, Devin, Kevin, Grothaus, Luke
Atl: Barnes, Bart "My Atlanta thugs."
New York Giants @ Washington (-4)
The Redskins will not be 3-0, no way. Pick: New York Giants
NYG: Devin, Mr. Normand, Grothaus, Luke, Bart "My New York thugs."
Was: Sara, Kevin, Barnes
Dallas @ Chicago (-3)
The Bears have yet to cover this year. I blame Rex Grossman. Pick: Dallas
Dal: Sara, Jeff, Devin, Grothaus, Luke
Chi: Kevin, Barnes, Bart "My Chicago thugs."
Tennessee @ New Orleans (-4.5)
Are the Saints that bad? I will give them one last chance. Pick: New Orleans
Ten: Sara, Mr. Normand
NO: Kevin, Barnes, Devin, Luke, Grothaus, Bart "My New Orleans thugs."
Again, sorry for the abbreviated version, we will be back next week with a full column. Thanks to everyone who got their picks in on time. It is much appreciated. This is the last week for a while where there are 16 games. Bye weeks begin next week.
Until then, "read it, roll it, hole it."
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