Wednesday, October 28, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Seven QOTW

By: Luke Florence

It was a weird week for this league with regards to comments. Arguably, it was one of the most balanced weeks this season in terms of different people commenting. But, we also saw two of the top four Gus Johnson leaders fail to send in comments on time or at all.

Will this effect the Gus Johnson standings? Absolutely. The bigger question just might be how it mixes up the race for Bill Walton as well.

Giddy up.

TOP TEN WEEK SEVEN QUOTES
10-tie) “The 40 Year Old Virgin. Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson before she got fat and he's never sealed the deal with a playoff victory. Romo is homo.” - Eric Hug.

10-tie) “Z: Unorthodox, slow, 7-footer who relies on his mid-range jumper yet somehow manages to consistently score 15 and grab 7 or 8 boards. Wildcat: Unorthodox, mildly successful, works against certain match-ups. Buffalo chicken pizza: Unorthodox, delicious going down, fiery on its way out.” - Nick Lay.

9) “I'm rooting for Brett Favre? That's like rooting for vegetables at dinner or clothes for Christmas. And just to spite me, the clothes would be Wranglers.” - Brian Boesch.

8) “As pirates, playing in Europe will be a more historically accurate setting for the Buccaneers than America, while taking the Patriots out of their comfort zone. Oh wait, they still have to play them in football.” - Jeff Schaffer.

7) “Watching Roy E. Williams' awkwardness on the field (when he's not hurt) reminds me of Nick Lay on the basketball court. Lay made Tim Ritzler look athletic...Hell, Nick Lay makes Zydrunas Ilgauskus look athletic.” - Jamie Reamer.

6) “I forgot to swap Peyton Manning for Jason Campbell on one of my fantasy teams last week, but in retrospect I'm glad. The 2.16 points he would have earned me wouldn't have been worth having to admit that I started Jason Campbell.” - Jeff Schaffer.

5) “The Browns playing with the flu is like chopping Petrellos other hand off and then telling him to go out and play receiver better than Barnes (oh wait, that would probably still happen)." - Shane Kline.

4) “So the Redskins pulled Sherman Lewis out of calling BINGO games in Detroit to call the plays for the rest of the season. What’s going to be worse is Jim Zorn taking my old job and ringing up groceries in Youngstown after this season.” - Jason Fazzone.

3) “'The Eagles look to bounce back from a hard-fought loss to a black hole, while Todd Collins will try to revitalize the Washington high school offense' -Mike Tirico's MNF promo.” - Brian Boesch.

2) “I hope the Packers run with this trend of bringing back former players. Today it's Ahman Green, tomorrow it could be Antonio Freeman. That's the world I want to live in.” - Jeff Schaffer.

1) “The Wikipedia reference worked wonders for the Raiders last week. Well, how about one that will rattle the Sanchize. According to Wikipedia, Sanchez is ‘a symbol of Mexican-American identity and a role model for children.’ Good thing I'm not Mexican-American or a child.” - Brian Boesch.

Congratulations to Brian Boesch for earning the Week Seven Quote Of The Week. It's the first QOTW for Brian, and means six league members now have at least one horse in the running for the Quote Of The Year.

Both Boesch and Schaffer reaped the benefits of a couple regular QOTW contributors' absence, as they combined for six of the eleven QOTW contenders in week seven.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Seven Standings

By: Luke Florence

Week seven only brought us 13 games, but it did provide a semi-league shake-up as a couple at the top came back down to the middle, and a couple in the middle rose to the top.

Big congratulations to Eric Hug for going an impressive 11-2 last week. He was one play away in the Minnesota-Pittsburgh game for having the best weekly record (percentage wise) in the three-year history of this league. It also made Huggy Bear the biggest gainer of the week, jumping from 11th to sole possession of 4th place.

The biggest loser of week seven was Kevin Hunt. Everyone's favorite little guy went a heart-wrenching 3-10 and fell eight spots from 15th all the way to 23rd. He was greeted at the bottom of the league with open arms by Chewy, Bart and D-Frank.

The top three remain unaltered, although Jeff Normand did pick up a game on the co-leaders (Billy Wakefield and Nick Lay).

It should be noted how incredibly strong the middle of this league is doing. Out of 26 members, 22 of them have a winning record after seven weeks. In 2008, 14 of the 20 members had a plus .500 winning percentage entering week eight. It seems every year this league gets stronger and stronger.

2009 NFL ATS PICK 'EM: WEEK SEVEN STANDINGS (week seven record in parentheses)
1) Billy Wakefield 62-41 (7-6)
1) Nick Lay 62-41 (7-6)
3) Jeff Normand 61-42 (8-5)
4) Eric Hug 60-43 (11-2)
5) Erik Smith 59-44 (7-6)
5) Jamie Reamer 59-44 (9-4)
5) Luke Polito 59-44 (9-4)
5) Ryan Polito 59-44 (9-4)
9) Anthony Tynan 58-45 (6-7)
9) Chris Woodard 58-45 (6-7)
11) Justin Whelan 57-46 (5-8)
11) Jeff Schaffer 57-46 (8-5)
13) Shane Kline 56-47 (7-6)
13) Luke Florence 56-47 (8-5)
13) Matt Barnes 56-47 (9-4)
16) Jake Young 55-48 (8-5)
16) Andrew Braverman 55-48 (8-5)
18) Jason Fazzone 54-49 (5-8)
18) Chris Rapking 54-49 (6-7)
18) Josh Florence 54-49 (9-4)
18) Brian Boesch 54-49 (9-4)
18) Corey Taylor 54-49 (9-4)
23) Kevin Hunt 51-52 (3-10)
23) Andrew Reinhart 51-52 (8-5)
25) Bart Borer 44-59 (2-11)
25) Devin Frank 44-59 (7-6)

Please let me know of any discrepancy you may have with your record, and I will address that issue immediately. Also, the KOA is looking for a podcast guess to play a Guess The Spread-type game next Tuesday. This will hopefully turn into a regular feature, so if you can't make next Tuesday, maybe you can make one down the road. Let me know.

Awards standings will be updated later tonight.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."

Sunday, October 25, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Seven PICKS

By: Luke Florence

Here are our group's picks for week seven of the 2009 NFL season. Best of luck to everyone. Thanks for rebounding as a group and getting all of your picks in on time. Much appreciated.

WEEK SEVEN PICKS
Billy: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, CLE, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, ARI, WAS

Lay: IND, PIT, NE, CHI, SD, CLE, HOU, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Jeff: IND, PIT, NE, CHI, KC, GB, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Justin: IND, PIT, TB, CHI, KC, GB, SF, CAR, OAK, DAL, MIA, NYG, WAS

Tynan: IND, MIN, TB, CHI, KC, GB, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Woody: IND, PIT, TB, CIN, KC, GB, HOU, CAR, OAK, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Smitty: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Reamer: IND, PIT, NE, CIN, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, NYJ, DAL, MIA, NYG, PHI

L.Po: IND, PIT, NE, CIN, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

R.Po: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, ARI, PHI

Schaffer: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Fiz: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, KC, GB, HOU, CAR, OAK, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Shane: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, SF, CAR, OAK, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Hug: IND, MIN, NE, CIN, SD, GB, SF, BUF, NYJ, ATL, NO, ARI, PHI

Rapking: IND, MIN, TB, CIN, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, OAK, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Luke: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, NYJ, DAL, NO, NYG, PHI

Kevin: STL, MIN, TB, CHI, KC, CLE, SF, BUF, OAK, ATL, MIA, ARI, WAS

Jake: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, SF, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Barnes: IND, PIT, NE, CIN, KC, GB, SF, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Braves: IND, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, BUF, OAK, ATL, NO, ARI, PHI

Josh: STL, MIN, NE, CHI, SD, CLE, SF, BUF, NYJ, DAL, NO, ARI, PHI

Brian: IND, MIN, NE, CIN, SD, GB, HOU, BUF, NYJ, ATL, MIA, ARI, PHI

Taylor: IND, MIN, NE, CIN, SD, GB, SF, CAR, NYJ, ATL, NO, NYG, PHI

Chewy: IND, MIN, TB, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, NYJ, DAL, NO, ARI, PHI

Bart: STL, PIT, TB, CIN, KC, CLE, HOU, CAR, OAK, DAL, MIA, NYG, WAS

Devin: IND, PIT, TB, CHI, SD, GB, HOU, CAR, OAK, DAL, NO, NYG, PHI

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."

Saturday, October 24, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Seven

By: Luke Florence

The Beatles wrote, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” No, we are not using a Beatles song this week, but we are taking that lyric to heart in week seven.

One year ago the KOA needed a spark picking games, so we turned to members of the BESS Club (aka. The Gay Lanes regulars) to make our selections. They didn’t do anything spectacular, but they did provide something extremely valuable.

Perspective.

Taking the week completely off and putting the responsibility in someone else’s hands allowed the KOA to gain some perspective on the NFL. Believe me, you look at things differently when you aren’t frantically rooting for certain teams to score a meaningless touchdown just to obtain a cover.

One year ago, the KOA took that week off and parlayed it into a second place finish. Here’s to hoping it works again this year. But alas, no BESS Club in 2009. Nope, this year, we turn it to the Queen Of Arguments … starting with the theme song from her favorite movie.

The QOA will be making all of my picks this week. The reasoning is two-fold. First, hopefully 2008 will repeat itself, especially after my dismal 5-9 record one week ago. The second - and most important - reason, can best be summed up by Jean Jacques Rousseau, “Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.”

Giddy up. Week seven is here.

INDIANAPOLIS (-12.5) @ ST. LOUIS

Jess loves Peyton Manning. He is her favorite football player. She would pick Peyton Manning over any other professional athlete. It’s almost to the point where I hope she never meets Peyton, because if she did, I may be S.O.L.

My Pick: IND (-12.5)

Devin: “Disappointed that the prayers are now going to Rose now Florence. Jimmy still needs are prayers!” D-Frank is referring to the end of my weekly spreads e-mail where I petition the league to send prayers to someone. At first it was Brady Quinn, then Jimmy Clausen … now it’s Derrick Rose.

Lay: “LeBron James: Like LeBron, Peyton hosted SNL. Unlike LeBron, Peyton was AWESOME. He did an awesome DA/Browns impression in the United Way skit by throwing balls as fast as he could towards "receivers" who were roughly nine inches away, the kids picked it up on their end by dropping each and every pass. I do wish I could watch Bron Bron dance in a golden unitard on a more regular basis, however, as long as it's not as one of Jay-Z's backup dancers.” Nick Lay using the start of the NBA season as a catapult for another theme week. All Cleveland Cavaliers for Lay.

Brian: “It's sad when this could be an Appalachian State-Michigan-esque upset or a 16 over a 1 in the NCAA tournament. Too bad there won't be a crowd going crazy. Too bad there won't be a crowd. Too bad there won't be an upset.” Got to give Boesch credit. He’s not doing as well as he would like in the standings, but his comments are getting better and better each week. It’s his inner-Herm Edwards being released.

Hug: “The Truman Show. St. Louis is stuck in a bubble and they can't get out. Maybe they will finish strong, but for now their world is full of confusion. Indy plays as the almighty and controls this game.” Hug used movies to describe every week seven match-up. However, I think he is describing Bruce Almighty instead of The Truman Show with this one.

MINNESOTA @ PITTSBURGH (-4.5)

“Brett Favre doesn’t want to lose.” And yes, I will be quoting Jess from here on out. “He just doesn’t.”

My Pick: MIN (+4.5)

Devin: “All-Time favorite ND game was the season opener against Pitt five years ago which was the Wann-stache return to Pitt glory game and Corso predicted ND might go 6-6. We rolled Pitt. Yep all-time favorite moment is against the mighty Pitt Panthers and the Wann-stache.” My all-time favorite moment was flipping of Bobby Bowden in 1993 during the #1-#2 Florida State-Notre Dame game.

Lay: “Shaquille O'Neal aka The Big Foreclosure aka The Big Pierogie: Just like Brett Favre attaching his sidecar to AP's motorcycle, Shaqtus has latched on to LBJ like white on rice in order to make one more run at glory late in his career. Boy, that Brett Favre REALLY loves to play football!” As a huge Bulls fan, it’s safe to say I hate the Cavs. But, I will be intrigued to see how the O’Neal signing affects Bron Bron. I’ve been saying for the longest time that he needs a true point guard to become a champion, and Shaq is the furthest thing from a true point guard.

Boesch: “I'm rooting for Brett Favre? That's like rooting for vegetables at dinner or clothes for Christmas. And just to spite me, the clothes would be Wranglers.” Do you smell that? That’s the smell of a QOTW contender for Boesch.

Hug: “Hardball. This game should be a well fought contest but will not be won till they play "Big Poppa" in the fourth quarter.” Somewhere Matt Barnes is shedding a tear.

Fiz: “Reason No. 1,438 why the Steelers are a better team than the Browns: you think a drunken Billy Cundiff would’ve tried to stop the cops from ticketing Steve Heiden for urinating in public?” No, but a drunken Phil Dawson sure would have.

Schaffer: A Favre-Roethlisberger match-up will certainly set an all-time record for pump fakes in a game.” Not gonna lie, when Schaffer gets his comments in on time, it adds just the right herbs and spices to this column, and the result is pure deliciousness.

NEW ENGLAND (-14.5) @ TAMPA BAY (At London)

“Tom Brady plays.” Works for me.

My Pick: NE (-14.5)

Devin: “Fairly certain this is a once in a lifetime pick…” D-Frank is backing the Bucs as they fly across the Atlantic to greet Devin - probably the only Tampa Bay fan in England.

Reamer: “I wonder if D-Frank will make it to this game to see his valiant Bucs, but they way they've been playing I think he's more pissed that he can't get away from them this season, even by leaving the country!” Talk about the proverbial salt in the wound.

Lay: “Mo Williams: As Mo has done with LeBron, Randy Moss took his glittering resume (sans Raiders) to NE and proved to be a much more valuable player with the absolute best distributing the ball to him. I think Mo is a bit cuter, however.” Mo was a good player hiding on a bad team in Milwaukee. It’s the best Danny Ferry-signing since he sold his soul to rig the Bron Bron draft.

Hug: “Without a Paddle. The Buccaneers are on a sinking ship without a paddle stuck in the middle of nowhere. They're going to be lost for a while.” Well they could always fire off one of those cannons … they have plenty of ammunition remaining. They sure as hell haven’t fired them much this season.

Schaffer: “As pirates, playing in Europe will be a more historically accurate setting for the Buccaneers than America, while taking the Patriots out of their comfort zone. Oh wait, they still have to play them in football.” Somewhere Paul Revere is silently nodding his head in agreement … and cracking open a Keystone Light. Oh yeah, Revere loves the stones. Believe it.

CHICAGO @ CINCINNATI (-1.5)

Jess works for ITT Tech, and her boss is a huge Chicago Bears fan. Since this is the QOA’s week, let’s go with the Bears in hopes of her boss being in a good mood come Monday. Plus, I don’t want to root for the Bengals ... ever.

My Pick: CHI (+1.5)

Lay: “Boobie Gibson: Hands down my least favorite basketball player ever. He's part of a rare breed of PGs who can't dribble or pass. Sometimes, he makes wide-open 3s. His game six against Detroit in '07 was the high point of his career, which has traveled a downward spiral ever since that game, much like the Bengals since their playoff shellacking against the Steelers in '06. Apparently even God couldn't help Jon Kitna achieve success as a Bengal. Jesus could, however, hit a curveball.” Boobie Gibson is the epitome of why I hate the Cleveland Cavs. Their fan base has the ability to take a below-average player, and after one good performance - anoint him as the next coming of Mark Price. That same principle can be said of Craig Ehlo’s entire career.

Hug: “Ocean's Eleven. The Bengals are those cardiac cats (except for last week) that go for that high risk high reward opportunity. Let's see if they provide a better sequel than last week's ending.” Better sequel and Ocean’s Eleven do not go hand in hand.

Schaffer: “I get that Chase Coffman can't block, but how many more times are the Bengals going to let Daniel Coates drop the ball with no one in sight? It's like watching Barnes on the field...exactly like it.” Apparently Matt Barnes couldn’t catch the swine flu in the Homecoming Flag Football game last weekend. All those who were surprised please raise your hand.

SAN DIEGO (-4.5) @ KANSAS CITY

If the QOA had to live in either of these cities, she would take San Diego (aka the Whale’s Vagina) in a heart-beat.

My Pick: SD (-4.5)

Lay: “Anthony Parker: Throughout his life, Anthony Parker has been overshadowed by his younger (but still large) sister, Candace. If you didn't know, she was the best dunker in high school in '04, where she performed her famous half-Dee Brown layup/dunk thing to succeed LeBron as the dunk champion. Matt Cassell was listed right behind OJ Simpson on USC's depth chart, and behind the antiques known as Flutie and Vinny in New England. However, both have blossomed now that they've escaped from the shadows, as well as attempted murder (who knew Cassel would live? He's white, OJ! Come on!).” Anthony Parker has the same problem Reggie Miller had. Being out-shined on the basketball court by a sibling … who happened to be a female.

Brian: “YAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNNN. Just look away. I swear, staring at it for too long may affect you forever.” God do I hate Norv Turner.

GREEN BAY (-6.5) @ CLEVELAND

After watching two Browns games, Jess knows that when Cleveland is playing, it’s time for a nap. You can’t blame her ... they make me want to shoot myself. “You should like Pittsburgh, they are way better than Cleveland.” (She said this without knowing anything regarding the Pittsburgh-Cleveland rivalry)

My Pick: GB (-6.5)

Shane: “The Browns playing with the flu is like chopping Petrellos other hand off and then telling him to go out and play receiver better than Barnes (oh wait, that would probably still happen) ... anyways it's so bad that Bodog took the game off the books.” This game will be Shane’s Slick Pick Of The Week, one he has not won yet. Could Shane be trying the reverse jinx with this pick? Trying to get the Browns to do the unthinkable? Or, is he simply trying to break the winless streak with the surest bet? I’m going with the latter.

Devin: “Minor rant here. On ESPN covering QB changes they were analyzing the Quinn vs Anderson situation and stated 'though the numbers are similar Anderson has lead the browns to their only win'. Really, he LEAD them? He went 2-17 for 30 odd yards. Why do we do this in American sports? Why do we put in so much B.S. phrases and clichés and dumb analysis? Drives me nuts.” D-Frank stepping it up and taking it to the next level with his comments in week seven.

Reamer: “I could in fact play better than DA, not doubt. Maybe not throw it 70 yards, but at least I know which color to throw too! And for the record, I put up great numbers as QB while winning the intramural flag football championship a couple years ago at Kent State. Sign me up Coach!” Not sure if Reamer parlayed that championship into a trip to the Flag Football Nationals, but if he did, he would have run into Matt Barnes. I’m all about the Six Degrees Of Separation theory.

Lay: “Departing from the theme for a second to bring this to everyone's attention: the Browns are on a three game win streak (against the spread)! Fun times in Cleveland again! Also, I'm going to the game and am going to party with Delonte West afterwards. He said I can ride in his side-car and hold his guitar case for safe-keeping. I anticipate a fried chicken covered in hot sauce, donut-eating good time.” Yes, these are my friends.

Brian: “If you are a Browns fan, read THIS . We're all in this together.” Great article, and a great find by Boesch.

Schaffer: “I hope the Packers run with this trend of bringing back former players. Today it's Ahman Green, tomorrow it could be Antonio Freeman. That's the world I want to live in.” Very strong possibility that Schaffer ends up with another QOTW for that effort. Outstanding.

SAN FRANCISCO @ HOUSTON (-3.5)

One of the weird things about Jess is that she hates bridges. Can’t stand them. Not sure if it’s their height, the water below, or the fear of a collapse. Whatever it is, I’m fairly certain the epitome of her fear would be driving across the Golden State Bridge.

My Pick: HOU (-3.5)

Brian: “Really an up-in-the-air battle here. Not sure how I would go on this one, so let's determine it the F'd Up way. Road team rolls first.

Roll #1: A quick start for the Texans, as they take a 9-7 lead early on.
Roll #2: By the way, I'm rooting for the 49ers. From a very reputable source (Rob Cornelius), he didn't see a Texans jersey at the Bengals-TEXANS game last week. Not a single one! He also saw Andre Smith's parents, who were also on Mr. 51-million-dollars dietary plan. And both teams are still better than the Browns. Awesome. Anyways...the second roll was also won by Texans, 7-6. HOU on top 16-13 early on.
Roll #3: Break out the Texans. After a snoozer of a 7 for the Niners, the Texans roll double-5s with a 4 on the and-one. Texans up big right now, 30-20, which by the way was my pick of the Ohio-Kent State score. See why I'm so awful at this stuff?
Roll #4: Hey, a comeback has to start somewhere. Niners win their first roll 6-5. Now 35-26 in favor of the team with no travelers.
Roll #5: A great late first half surge by the fighting Mike Singletary's. I'm sure he threatened to stare at Shaun Hill, which scared them into an 11. Only a 6 for Houston. At halftime, 41-37 Texans.
Roll #6: The Texans heard that someone cared about them (which was a lie), so they were motivated to outscore the Niners 9-7 in the round. 50-44 HOU.
Roll #7: San Fran with an 8 the unconventional way. Snake eyes, and-one a 6. Houston counters with a 9. Still up in the air with 3 rolls to go. HOU 59-52.
Roll #8: San Fran is lingering. It is a lingerer. But they are going to need a great end. HOU with the roll victory 8-7 and the lead...67-59.
Roll #9: OH MY GOD! It's time for the F'd Up Stat of the Week, and it was a memorable 9th roll for the 49ers. We saw FIVE rolls. FIVE!?!?!?! Four 2's, followed by a 4. I swear. Once I become a millionaire journalist (which will be never), I'm going to get a camera to make sure everything is run properly. Until now, I'll have to settle for the memory of me jumping up and rooting for the 4th 2 like I rooted for the Indians in the 90s. Truly remarkable. Oh, by the way, sorry to neglect you Texans (I know you're used to it), but you rolled a 6. It's a 2-point game as we head to roll #10. HOU up 73-71.
Roll #10: The Niners rolled a respectable 8, so Houston needs a 7 to win. Drumroll please. The roll.....oh no, one dice falls off the table, and the one I see is a 1!!!! The other......a 6!!!!!! Houston by one!!!! ONIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! ROMO IS HOMO!!!!!! (wow, what a versatile sentence...it showed up in a postgame celebration...gotta love it) In an instant classic, the Texans squeak by 80-79 in an absolute thriller. If that doesn't get your blood pumping and put goosebumps all over you, then you simply don't have a passion for dice and randomness.

So, the pick...Houston -3.5. Time to take a breather after that one.” How awesome was that?!? Doesn’t get any better, and with the 2009 F’d Up Tourney taking shape, I’m officially pumped.

Devin: “Or Weis 'cant win the big one'. Or any coach/player for that matter. GOD it drives me crazy. Manning, EITHER of them couldn't, and then they did. And both did it, and had shitty to average playoff games. Look at Peyton's playoff numbers before the Super Bowl win, you know when he was 'un-clutch' and 'couldn't win it all' then look at his playoff numbers when he won it. Maybe players and coaches loss because the other teams were better? Or it was possibly a bad match-up or a few untimely bad plays or series?” This is why Devin was the best co-anchor for a radio show I could ask for.

Schaffer: “Matt Schaub has thrown for more touchdowns than the entire 49ers team has scored. That's a real stat.” I’ve won just as many NBA Finals games as LeBron James. That’s also a real stat.

BUFFALO @ CAROLINA (-6.5)

“New York is greedy for having three teams in one state. That’s just ridiculous. And Buffalo doesn’t have a Manning play for them.” (Not quite sure how to respond to that random assortment of statements) And just for good matter, Jess adds, “Do you think anyone else will find this funny?” (As she laughs uncontrollably and her dog Frankie begs for another bone)

Frankie’s Boner Pick Of The Week: CAR (-6.5)

Reamer: “Oh, I could also put up more fantasy points than Trent Edwards, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jake Delhomme combined.” Somewhere Jason Campbell breathed a heavy sigh of relief for not being included in that comment.

Lay: “Coby Karl: Coby played basketball at Boise State. This game doesn't deserve to be played on the blue turf at Boise, but if it did, I'd make sure to throw lots and lots of potatoes onto the field in an effort to catch TO upside the head. It would be called a baked potato after it is launched from my laser rocket arm.” Isn’t this what Ryan Leaf currently does for a living?

Brian: “Remember who Terrell Owens is? How about Steve Smith? They're about as visible as Luke was at OU Homecoming this past weekend. Truly a weak effort on all accounts.” Touché Mr. Boesch. Touché.

NEW YORK JETS (-5.5) @ OAKLAND

Despite her hatred for three New York teams and her wanting to live in California, Jess takes the Jets. Which is tangible proof that I usually have no idea what women are thinking.

Not Gonna Watch And I Have Sunday Ticket Pick: NYJ (-5.5)

Shane: “I have no idea why I'm picking Oakland, but something about Hug's all Raiders gear this weekend has really inspired me....Plus I'd really like to know where all Sanchez's ass-kissers went??? Come out come out wherever you aaare!" Kudos to Huggy Bear for rocking the Raiders gear in A-Town last weekend.

Lay: “Bizarro Anderson Varejao (if that can even exist): While he doesn't stuff the stat sheet, he brings multiple intangibles to the table that can't be measured using a box score. Russell and Sanchize bring tangibles that can be measured in a box score, however. Those are in the column labeled ‘INT.’" See my comment for Boobie Gibson. Anderson Varejao qualifies nicely.

Brian: “The Wikipedia reference worked wonders for the Raiders last week. Well, how about one that will rattle the Sanchize. According to Wikipedia, Sanchez is ‘a symbol of Mexican-American identity and a role model for children.’ Good thing I'm not Mexican-American or a child.” And the week seven QOTW goes to …

Hug: “The Pursuit of Happyness. Both of these teams have dealt with some hardships the last few years, but their pursuit is endless, and hopefully worth the reward in the end, even if it is a few years away.” That’s some wishful thinking for an Oakland Raiders fan.

Fiz: “About a month ago, Mark Sanchez was on top of the world. Then he lost to Chad “Big Game” Henne. And then he lost to Ryan Fitzpatrick at home. And now he’s traveling cross-country to face…JaMarcus Russell. Sanchez may be going from Joe Namath status to Ken O’Brien status in a hurry here.” Say what you will about Brady Quinn, but he’s never lost to three quarterbacks that were as bad as the three Sanchez would lose to if he drops this game against Oakland. Whoa.

ATLANTA @ DALLAS (-4.5)

“Well, according to your blog, Romo is homo.” I heart the QOA. Oh yeah, she likes the cheerleaders as well. Which apparently Tony Romo doesn’t.

My Pick: DAL (-4.5)

Reamer: “Watching Roy E. Williams' awkwardness on the field (when he's not hurt) reminds me of Nick Lay on the basketball court. Lay made Tim Ritzler look athletic...Hell, Nick Lay makes Zydrunas Ilgauskus look athletic.” And the first official feud of 2009 begins right now. Kudos to Reamer for responding. In the words of the late Miles Lane, “Let’s get it on!”

Brian: “When are we going to see a punt hit the scoreboard? I blame Tony Romo and his homo-ness.” It doesn’t stop. It can’t stop. It won’t stop. Romo will forever be homo.

Hug: “The 40 Year Old Virgin. Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson before she got fat and he's never sealed the deal with a playoff victory. Romo is homo.” God I love my friends.

NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) @ MIAMI

Not only was Jess impressed with the Saints thrashing the Giants last week (“Poor Eli Manning”), but New Orleans was our first travel experience together in July. Drew Brees it is.

My Pick: NO (-6.5)

Lay: “Z: Unorthodox, slow, 7-footer who relies on his mid-range jumper yet somehow manages to consistently score 15 and grab 7 or 8 boards. Wildcat: Unorthodox, mildly successful, works against certain match-ups. Buffalo chicken pizza: Unorthodox, delicious going down, fiery on its way out.” Lay looking for yet another QOTW winner.

Fiz: “Everyone talks about how lucky the Saints were that the Dolphins didn’t sign Drew Brees. Did anyone stop to think that Brees is the lucky one for not having to play in some shit-tastic offense with putrid receivers?” It goes both ways. Maybe Ted Ginn develops a little faster with Brees back there. Maybe Marques Colston doesn’t develop as fast with Chad Pennington throwing him the ball. It’s the classic chicken and the egg conundrum.

Schaffer: “This match-up of former Big Ten QBs should be infinitely better than any game in the conference this season...how can a collection of 11 teams be so collectively bad offensively?” When there is no one specific to blame … blame affirmative action. It works every time.

ARIZONA @ NEW YORK GIANTS (-7.5)

Her love for Peyton Manning is so strong that she actually likes Eli Manning. “He’s pretty good, AND he gets paid more. Poor Peyton.” Don’t forget about the “funny Oreo commercials as well.”

My Pick: NYG (-7.5)

Lay: “Danny Ferry: Eli forced a draft day trade to the Giants. Ferry forced a trade after being drafted by the Clip Show. After many ups and downs, both would wind up winning titles, albeit with completely different roles. And yes, I just successfully compared the worst trade in Cavs history to acquire Ferry by dumping Ron Harper pre-knee surgeries to a Super Bowl winning QB.” Welcome to the life of a Cleveland sports fan. Where crazy-absurd analogies are common-place.

Fiz: “I see the Giants defense looking to make a statement at home and turning Kurt Warner into what he was when he played for…well, the Giants.” Solid QOTW contender for Fiz. Make sure to check out Fiz’s In The Zone this week. New format and I couldn’t be happier with it.

Schaffer: “My new cell phone ringer is Gus Johnson yelling "SPEED!" on a loop. That has nothing to do with this game but I felt like I had to mention it.” Couldn’t be prouder right now.

PHILADELPHIA (-6.5) @ WASHINGTON

“Washington’s uniforms are ugly.” Everything surrounding that Washington team right now could be accurately described as “ugly.”

My Pick: PHI (-6.5)

Devin: “Movie clip of the week:”

I expect this to become a weekly occurrence Devin.

Lay: “Random member of LeBron's crew, aka the Four Horseman: While several of LBJ's cronies have spots in the front office of the Cavs, they lack any credentials whatsoever to be as high-ranking as they are. You can actually lump the entire Redskin organization into this category, from Daniel Snyder to Jim Zorn to Jason Campbell to the janitors.” I’m still waiting for Brady Quinn or Grady Sizemore to punch one of Bron’s boyz to get out of Cleveland. Or maybe Bron Bron will do it himself after the season, ripping off his shirt WWF style, unveiling a Knicks jersey? Good Gawwd! That's New York's music!!?!?!

Brian: “"The Eagles look to bounce back from a hard-fought loss to a black hole, while Todd Collins will try to revitalize the Washington high school offense" -Mike Tirico's MNF promo.” Big round of applause for Brian Boesch. His week seven e-mail will compete for the best e-mail of the year at our season ending awards banquet. Nick Lay’s week one e-mail is sweating right now.

Fiz: “So the Redskins pulled Sherman Lewis out of calling BINGO games in Detroit to call the plays for the rest of the season. What’s going to be worse is Jim Zorn taking my old job and ringing up groceries in Youngstown after this season.” Zorn couldn’t handle that much responsibility. Zorn would stare haphazardly into the distance and then immediately pass out when the first person asks him to double bag.

Schaffer: “I forgot to swap Peyton Manning for Jason Campbell on one of my fantasy teams last week, but in retrospect I'm glad. The 2.16 points he would have earned me wouldn't have been worth having to admit that I started Jason Campbell.” One of those awesome instances when fantasy and real life create comments like that.

So, even though two of the top four Gus Johnson candidates did not get comments in on time, the 2009 version of this league showed just how versatile it can be.

And now on to the special sections for this week.

Po's Knowledge Dropping - Vol. II - Num. VI
Week 6 in Review
By: Ryan Polito

MOST DOMINANT AND LEAST DOMINANT - Fans At Sporting Events

For the first time in Knowledge Dropping history I am putting something in both the most and least dominant category, because I just cant decide whether it is good or bad. I guess you will just have to read and decide for yourselves.

Usually I am highly opposed to fans running out of the stands and being drunken idiots all for attention, but a couple moments I saw this week were actually pretty entertaining.

First, at the Lakers-Nuggets preseason game JR Smith slipped and fell on the court while driving to the hoop. Normally the team has someone assigned to wipe off the court when a player hit’s the ground. However, no one did it this time, so during a timeout a fan decided to do it himself. Maybe because this was a preseason game security was optional, but the fan came out of the stands... grabbed a mop... and wiped off the court himself to a massive standing ovation. The best part about this is that the fan went back to his seat and was seen collecting money from his friends. Ain’t nothing like a friendly bet between friends.

The next incident happened during the Yankees-Angels ALCS Game 5. With the Angels in the lead and about to make the series 3-2 and send it back to New York, a fan in the outfield decided to jump out of his seat and into the fountain display the Angels have in center field. I don’t know if the fan was being a drunken idiot, or if again was doing it as a bet. The fan jumped into the water and started swimming in the fountain. I was stunned to see FOX actually put him on TV, but apparently they thought it was good clean fun as well.

When people must be idiots and try to be on TV, why do they always have to streak naked or attack players when just wiping off a court or swimming in a fountain gives you all the air time you will ever need.

Promo time: On Saturday November 7th, Phil Ivey goes for history as he sits down at the final table of the WSOP main event, the biggest and most prestigious poker tournament in the world. After the poker boom in 2003 it was said the main event field was too big for a big name pro to ever win it again. The final table will be LIVE on Espn PPV on Nov. 7th, and shown on ESPN Nov. 10 from 9-11pm. Hopefully in about two weeks time, Mr. Ivey will find his way onto my most dominant list.

**Watch out for Darvin Moon, who just may be the most unlikely poker world champion of all-time.

Cya, Go Steelers.

IN THE ZONE - Vol. I - Num. VII
By: Jason Fazzone

I decided to take a bye week last week and in the process, figured that a change in content would be beneficial to me jumping Bart and Polito in the Special Section standings. From now on, the column will consist of anything I’ve thought about in the past week. So without further ado, my random thoughts of the week:

Speaking of bye weeks, “Bye Week” is still the greatest intramural football team name ever created: I’ll never forget winning our first intramural game freshman year because the other team thought they had an actual bye week. The only thing better than winning that game was costing those snot-nosed punks 20 bucks. Another reason I won’t forget that year is because I don’t think we won another game in intramural football in the following three years.

RIP Jasper Howard: You hate to see a young kid lose his life over something ridiculous. It was good to see UConn and West Virginia pay tribute to Howard during their game Saturday.

The LeBron/Shaq experiment finally begins Tuesday: Can’t wait to see how these two co-exist in what is the biggest season in Cavaliers history.

I have a Bart Borer story of my own: I met Bart in Mobile when a group of us were down there for the GMAC Bowl. On the night I met him, Bart proceeded to drink an entire bottle of champagne we bought at Wal-Mart. He then straggled toward my bed and climbed into it as soon as I was about to fall asleep. From there, he managed to scoot me over until I was on the edge of the bed, about to fall off. And finally, he put his arm around me not once, but twice. I slept on the floor that night and used my jacket as a blanket. I haven’t been the same since.

The Steelers played teams with former Ohio players two weeks in a row: I don’t think this one Lions fan believed me when I told him I had a class with Landon Cohen. Then again, Lions fans didn’t believe us when we told them the Steelers would collapse in the fourth quarter or that the Lions would choke as soon as their mascot stomped on the Terrible Towel.

I have the highest one-week point total in my fantasy football league: Adrian Peterson didn’t reach the end zone and I still scored 179 points this past week. That’s what happens when Tom Brady goes into God mode, though.

Roger Goodell is a tyrant: He fined Ochocinco $10,000 for wearing the wrong-colored chinstrap. His children have to be either the most scared kids in the country that don’t have the last name of Gosselin or chemical-huffing fiends who are buddy-buddy with Lindsay Lohan.

Journalism sucks: So much for those four years of toiling away in the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism and listening to Bernhard Debatin drone on about media ethics: I took a job working in the cash department of the largest private ambulance supplier in the country.

Shark Tank > LOST/Flash Forward: I like to watch shows that are, I don’t know…real?

I really hope Cincinnati meets Boise State for the BCS Title: Anything to save me from a three-hour love-fest session on Tim Tebow, Nick Saban and Colt McCoy.

I wish I was going to be in Athens for Halloween: Girls in sexy costumes never gets old.

I need to rebound from a poor week ATS this past week: Last time I had a sub-.500 week, I bounced back with one of my best weeks to date. I hope the trend continues here.

I haven’t picked a Steelers game right all season: If a couple plays go the other way (see Hines Ward’s fumble opening night, the Bears/Bengals finishes), I’d feel a lot better about myself.

The Steelers will beat the Vikings Sunday, but won’t cover: It’s the late-game magic of Brett Favre versus the late-game magic of “Renegade” at Heinz Field (search “steelers renegade” on YouTube if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) I’m taking Styx every time.

Ryan Polito still sucks at picking games and writing columns. There’s your knowledge-dropping of the week.

Until next week, go Steelers!
______________________________________________________________
Not gonna lie, I thought this was the most well-rounded column of the entire season. We have excellent comments from multiple sources, several feuds developing within the league, and two superb special sections.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Six QOTW

By: Luke Florence

Homecoming has so many wonderful qualities that it's hard to complain about any negative side-effects that come with it. However, one drawback to the annual reunion of friends would have to be that it takes away from this league's quotes a bit.

Only a select few turned in comments on time, and of those, just a select few were worthy of being included in the race for Bill Walton.

TOP 10 WEEK SIX QUOTES
10) “Terrelle Pryor makes JaMarcus Russell look like Steve DeBerg. I have no idea what I mean by that, but I'm watching the OSU game right now and Pryor is wretched.” - Nick Lay.

9) “The Browns last beat the Steelers in 2003. Back then, Ohio State won big games, the Raiders were almost Super, George Bush was respected, and Nintendo Gamecube was a "technological advancement." But remember our slogan from last year...THE NAME ON THE DOOR IS CLEVELAND!” - Brian Boesch.

8) “Taco Tuesday kind of game. Two unbeaten teams. Two MVP candidates at QB. Hmm, kind of hungry for taco’s now. Or maybe just a churro.” - Matt Barnes.

7) “A Detroit team with no Johnson. Gonna be hard for them to punch it in the pink end zone. And the only reason that the end zone is pink is because it's breast cancer awareness month so get your head out of the gutter.” - Nick Lay.

6) “Only in Cleveland can a quarterback win the starting job by throwing three interceptions in a half, and keep the job after completing two passes in a game.” - Jason Fazzone.

5) “One time in intramural football, the opponent's QB ran for a touchdown and did the Culpepper Dance (which, in case you were wondering, sucks). On the next play, he slipped and sprained his ankle. I wish I would've seen the foreshadowing. I wish I would've paid more attention in English class.” - Brian Boesch.

4) “Taking Norv Turner to cover is betting suicide.” - Jason Fazzone.

3) “If Ray Lewis went to OU, you would probably find him at the Crystal. That’s where all the douche bags are. And no, he wouldn’t drink with them … he’d stab one.” - Matt Barnes.

2) “According to Wikipedia, a black hole is region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, not even light, can escape. That's about right, Oakland.” - Brian Boesch.

1) “Fantasy play of the week: Picking up Matt Cassel and dropping DA. I could've started Jamie Reamer at QB and gotten more points than DA would've given me.” - Nick Lay.

Congratulations to Nick Lay for winning his 2nd Quote Of The Week honor. He is the first league member to have multiple qualifiers for the Quote Of The Year Award. Had to give him the nod this week because he beautifully intertwined a joke about the Cleveland Browns and one of our fellow league members.

Brian Boesch came close to winning that elusive QOTW, but ultimately fell just one place short. Odds are in his favor of claiming at least one QOTW before season-ends.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Six Standings

By: Luke Florence

Take a deep breath everyone. It's been a fast and furious six weeks, but more than ten weeks remain. Plenty of time to sink or swim.

Instead of going the traditional route in showcasing our standings, let's get creative for once.

Enjoy. (The week six QOTW, awards standings, etc. will be updated tomorrow afternoon)

The JaMarcus Russell Division -
We may be good ... but not this year.

26) Devin Frank 37-53 (5-9) - Hard to blame D-Frank for his lousy record. This man is overseas, studying like crazy to obtain his Masters in just one year. Give him credit for staying with us. Sadly, he has nothing to look forward to sports wise ... unless he wants aboard the Pittsburgh Penguins bandwagon, we'd love to have him.

25) Bart Borer 42-48 (9-5) - Bart had exactly 42 wins at this point last year, showing us that consistency and mediocrity often go hand-in-hand. Bart does have one of the best special sections this season ... and arguably the greatest entry of all-time with his Las Vegas tale from two weeks ago.

24) Andrew Reinhart 43-47 (7-7) - At least his Denver Broncos are 6-0. Something would tell me that Chewy would take that trade-off every day of the week. A couple Chew On This segments would be nice though. Especially since his Broncos just keep on winning.

The Jason Campbell Division -
We feel like we are average, but compared to everyone else, we are well below average.

21) Corey Taylor 45-45 (9-5) - After finally getting his money in this past week, karma worked in Taylor's favor with a league-best 9-5 week six record. That got him to .500; where he goes from here is anyone's guess. And considering no one knew his whereabouts during Homecoming weekend, it's a familiar position for CT.

21) Brian Boesch 45-45 (8-6) - Winning nine games in two weeks will land you here. Fortunately for Boesch, the Indians need a new manager (please not Manny Acta), the Athens Bulldogs football team are looking good (although not playoff bound), and he gets to spend this beautiful time of the year in A-Town.

21) Josh Florence 45-45 (7-7) - Might be the only guy with the potential to go 16-0 one week and just bypass everyone. When you don't watch football, it gives you that slight advantage. However, the defending champion needs lots of ten win-weeks to get back in to the money.

The Matt Cassel Division -
We still might have time to turn it around ... but the deck is stacked against us.

18) Andrew Braverman 47-43 (7-7) - Braves is now in Denver, Colorado which has got to be beautiful this time of the year. Throw in the Broncos thriving success (and considering he left Nashville - Titans 0-6), and it's safe to say Braves traded-up. The countdown to the 2009 AJB Holliday CD is right around the corner.

18) Matt Barnes 47-43 (5-9) - Barnes has a legit chance of winning both the Bill Walton and Gus Johnson Award, which would be historic. His comments week in and week out have been nothing short of outstanding. He is the only league member to legitimately pick a theme each week and carry it out. Three years ago I created league comments mainly because of Barnes, and we are finally seeing the fruits of that decision today. I can not wait until Christmas, because the only thing I want Santa to bring me is a Matt Barnes NFL Holliday Poem ... PLEEEEASE!!

18) Jake Young 47-43 (5-9) - Had a semi-controversy surrounding Jake's picks last week. He sent me a text at 12:23 saying he would take all the favorites. Then, at 1:02, he made some corrections. Then, at 1:13, he made some more. I hate to be a stickler, but the deadline for picks without comments is one hour before kick-off. Obviously it's not that big of a deal if you are a couple minutes late on that ... but making picks after games have kicked off won't fly. Sorry Jake, I hate to do it to you, but your original picks have to stand. Don't worry, your Packers smoking my Browns this Sunday should provide some justice.

The Tony Romo Division -
No we are not homo ... we could be good, but we fail to put it together when it counts the most.

15) Kevin Hunt 48-42 (9-5) - Fitting that the original creator of the "Romo Is Homo," line winds up in this division. Hunt has put some great weeks together ... and some poor weeks. Which can be safely said for the rest of this group. He has 11 weeks left to try and make up some ground ... both in the standings, and in his defense of Gus Johnson. SPEEEED!

15) Luke Florence 48-42 (5-9) - Had 51 wins at this point last year. Two weeks with nine losses have killed the KOA, but fortunately, he is only four games out of the money, which is nothing with all the games left to pick. If there were no more games after 1:00 on Sunday, the KOA would probably be in first place. The 4:00 games have hurt me, while the Sunday and Monday (1-5) night games have killed me.

15) Chris Rapking 48-42 (3-11) - There are two members in the race for the Katy Perry, Hot N' Cold Award. One of them is Chris Rapking. Here are his four previous weekly records - 12-4, 5-9, 9-5, 3-11. It means Rapking has the potential to finish anywhere from 20th to 1st. Justin Whelan would be the first person to tell you that the award is cool-looking, but not nearly as satisfying as an in-the-money finish.

The Matt Ryan Division -
We are on the cusp ... just waiting for the top tier to fall.

11) Eric Hug 49-41 (9-5) - Huggy Bear has been consistently average thus far, but he showed some promise last week with his 9-5 record. Add in an Oakland Raiders victory and an Athens reunion, it would be safe to say he had a great weekend.

11) Shane Kline 49-41 (8-6) - The preseason odds-on favorite was terrific in the early weeks, but finally buckled under the weight of expectation with 11 wins combined in two weeks. However, he has rebounded a bit as of late, which should be expected. Shane Kline doesn't quit ... he fights to the very end. Which makes him dangerous in this format, and nearly unstoppable come December for the 2009 F'd Up Tourney.

11) Jason Fazzone 49-41 (6-8) - Fiz has written the most special sections to date, and the content is well-written but highly controversial in this group (mostly Browns fans). But that is what makes this league so unique. Everyone has an opportunity to write whatever they want, and one of the Pittsburgh Steeler fans takes the chance and runs with it. I love it. Go Penguins!

11) Jeff Schaffer 49-41 (5-9) - Well, several missed weeks have probably done in Schaf's bid to obtain Gus Johnson, but he's right in the hunt for the money. Spider also has a Quote Of The Week to hang his hat on, which could turn into the Quote Of The Year at our Season Ending Awards Banquet. And yes, I did purposefully put Schaffer in the Matt Ryan division. You are welcome Spider.

The Eli Manning Division -
We have several great weeks, but we don't have enough to make any money ... yet.

8) Ryan Polito 50-40 (7-7) - He's always around the money, but has yet to take any home. Not gonna lie, despite Polito and I having rival teams in EVERY sporting league (sans hockey), I hope he either wins it all or flames out during the pursuit. Finishing just outside the money in 2008 was heart-breaking for Polito. It reminded me of Phil Ivey finishing 10th during the World Series Of Poker's Main Event a few years back.

8) Luke Polito 50-40 (7-7) - Polito's younger brother is doing just as well as his older - and more experienced ATS - brother. Luke must be feeling pretty good right now, mostly due to his Houston Texans guarantee last week (his only comment thus far). Time will tell if Luke continues his assault towards the top, but with a first name like that, odds say he will.

8) Jamie Reamer 50-40 (7-7) - Some may be surprised by Reamer's consistence in picking winners ... but I'm not. When money is on the line, this guy does not go down quietly. He was always among the top NFL pickers back in high school, always gave me fits on the poker table, and defeated me in the playoffs of our quarter-sliding game back in Calvert's cafeteria. The kid is like a shark, always on the hunt for fresh money.

The Drew Brees Division -
Show us the money.

4) Erik Smith 52-38 (9-5) - Chris Rapking has been streaky, but Smitty might be even streakier. 12-4, 7-9, 11-5, 5-9, 8-6 and 9-5. Katy Perry couldn't be prouder. Smitty is also an active member of this league with regards to new ideas. He wanted to incorporate Bill Simmons' record on here, in hopes of obtaining a link on the Sports Guy's web-site. The KOA hasn't figured out the best way of doing so, but it shows that Smitty is a passionate ATS league member.

4) Chris Woodard 52-38 (9-5) - Slow and steady wins the race. It describes the turtle in the Tortoise and the Hare book, but it also describes Woody in this league. He continually puts together solid weeks and continually moves up the leader-board. I hate to use the Aaron Rodgers analogy, but it's staring me directly in the face. Last season, Rodgers' first as a starter, he guided the Packers to a 4-3 record. After the bye week, the Pack only won two more games, losing seven of their next eight. Sorry Woody, your justice will be when your Packers destroy my Browns on Sunday. You are welcome.

4) Anthony Tynan 52-38 (8-6) - He came in surrounded by an aura of confidence. He broke ATS records the first few weeks. He has continually been in the money throughout. He is Anthony Tynan ... aka All Day. Baseball may be his expertise, but he has shown a tremendous amount of football knowledge the first month and a half of the season. He will probably be right around the top for the remainder.

4) Justin Whelan 52-38 (7-7) - If Shane Kline was my odds-on favorite to win, then Justin Whelan would have been my 2nd choice. I'm still not sure how Whelan ended up 10th last year (probably his back-to-back 6-10 records the last two weeks of the season), but he has shown resiliency to climb back into the money in 2009. My hope is to continue this league throughout the remainder of my life-time, and it wouldn't surprise me when I finally "retire", that Justin has multiple ATS championships hanging in his room.

The Peyton Manning Division -
We are good ... really good.

3) Jeff Normand 53-37 (8-6) - Hard not to root for Jeff. He was a late addition, but a welcome one. After struggling to maintain a .500 record the first two years of this league, Jeff has had a resurgence of monumental proportions. He is sitting alone in third place in a 26-member league. Being a Cleveland Browns fan in Cincinnati ... it's safe to say Jeff finally deserves to have the NFL reward him. Here's to hoping he continues to prosper.

1) Nick Lay 55-35 (9-5) - Matt Barnes may have a chance to win the Gus Johnson and Bill Walton, but Nick Lay has a chance to win the Triple Crown (Johnson, Walton, AND this league). The KOA was correct in their pre-season predictions of Lay's success in this league, both with his picks and with his comments. It is early, but the front-runner for the Free Agent Acquisition of the Year (Brian Boesch won last season), would have to be Nick Lay. They may nick-name him wheel-barrow during the Awards Banquet at this pace. Well deserved though.

1) Billy Wakefield 55-35 (4-10) - What Billy was doing through the first five weeks was nothing short of remarkable. He was 51-25 (a 67% clip) and had a five game lead on 2nd place. If Billy were to maintain that 67% for the 17-week season, he would have ended up with 171 wins, a staggering 21 more than the 150 record put up in 2007 by yours truly. That being said, it's not surprising that Billy dropped back down to earth in week six. Despite only picking up four wins, he still holds a share of first for the fourth consecutive week.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."