You Think You Know ... But You Have No Idea (And Neither Do I)

By: Luke Florence

Disclaimer: This post will not talk about the things I typically discuss. It won’t have anything to do with my favorite athletes, or who I think is going to win the Super Bowl. This post will show some of you a different side to me that you may not have experienced. So, if you are happy with what you think I am all about, then stop reading this right now, and my next post will be more of what you are used to.

I used that same disclaimer more than two years ago when I wrote my LIFE IS ... column. This is not another "what am I doing with my life" post, but it is a collection of random facts about yours truly.

The reasoning behind this post is two-fold.

1) The last couple of weeks have been littered with people who have shared "25 Random Facts" about themselves on Facebook. Somewhere along the line, it morphed from unveiling random facts like, "my first pet was a fish, and it's name was Randy," to something a bit more deep. This is when I decided to partake.

But more importantly ...

2) THIS IS MY 100TH POST!! We here at King of Arguments have been posting on-and-off again for nearly three years. It all started in Bromley Hall, room 310. Thanks to those who have been following from the beginning. You have had to battle my random months where nothing new gets posted, or when it is nothing but football picks. This is more for you guys than anyone else.

I wanted to do something special for this special occasion. I am going to let you get a glimpse of what makes me tick. Scary huh? Some of it may be. Some of it won't. I'll let you be the judge. But, before we get into the details, I just wanted to say thank-you. This blog has developed in those three years, as has my writing skills (don't believe me? ... check out the first few posts from '06 ... disgusting). So, to anyone who has ever read a column, made a comment (I live off of those ... tangible proof people are reading), or have linked me on a blog of their own (I try to return the favor), thank-you. More than you'll probably ever know, thanks.

If I tagged you/sent you this link, that means that I took a wild guess and figured you might enjoy reading this more than others. Or, because you are the person I am writing about (I've withheld the names). Will this come back to bite my ass? Probably, but, the greatest risk is not taking one. I firmly believe that.

Okay, onto the supposedly "random facts." As you will soon read, this is information usually reserved for a girlfriend, or a drunken night with your buddies. Depending on who you are, the following could be old news, new news, or no news. I'll let you guys make the call. Giddy up.

#1) It's been such a long time since I have cried, I have been wondering for the past three years if I can physically do it. The opportunities to shed a few tears have been plentiful recently (losing the only Grandfather I knew, changing majors/schools as many times as I did, struggling to land that coveted first job out of school, Andre Agassi retiring), but I haven't gotten close. I can not even remember the last time I belted some liquid discharge out of my eyes. Maybe when Charles Nagy retired?
#2) A common theme of this piece is how lucky I am. Starting off, I am so lucky to have a true best friend. It was almost as if we didn't have a choice in the matter. Our mothers have the same first name. We have been going to school with each other since Kindergarten. We were the first two to take advanced reading and math. We obviously went to high school together, and then afterward, we tackled Athens together ... twice. It's absolutely insane, but I've had the same best friend for 20 years. Wow. How many people can say that AND are 23 years old?

#3) One of my pet peeves is when people brag about how good they are at something. Typically, their word is never close to their actual results. I hate doing it at all costs, but, I don't see any other way around it here. I am the most well rounded athlete I know. I didn't run into a single person who could beat me in tennis at OU. In fact, I won the intramural championship singles title, double-bagel style, 6-0, 6-0. The guy I beat played on the club team the next quarter, and was the #3 singles player. Case closed on tennis. But my golf game keeps getting better, and only one person I played with the past four years would I consider better than me. Same with bowling (legit 180 average). Same with ping-pong. And with basketball? I ran into very few people who had the array of offensive skills as I did at OU. Now, we are simply talking intramurals here. And the recreational league at that. Okay, maybe just the guys on my team. But, in all seriousness, I can ball. Like I said, well rounded. Not spectacular, but very well-rounded. Throw in my range at short-stop, and well ... it's scary.

#4) Of course we have all made mistakes in our lives (this post could be considered one of mine), some, obviously more than others. But, in my 23 years of life, I only have two regrets. Just twice do I wish I could go back and change my decision/actions. I've been able to move on from these bad choices I made, but I would still change them if Doc Brown let me.

#4-a) First would have to be sophomore year of high school during our homecoming dance. I wanted to say some things, but for whatever reason, never did. Of course I thought I would have more time, but, it just never really happened. That dance was my last opportunity.

#4-b) The second is junior year of college. It was my decision to not return to Gridiron Glory. My reasoning - at the time - based around the fact I was changing majors, and didn't want to take a spot for someone else. The producers, and the host, tried to convince me otherwise, but I was too set in my ways to agree. It's too bad, because those two years on the show were amazing. What's the lesson here in these two situations? Shit happens when you party naked. Well that, and everything happens for a reason ... even if we won't learn the answer until the very end.
#5) I could not have asked for a better childhood, particularly my backyard/basement. A ridiculous amount of memories playing basketball games, tennis matches (hitting the ball up against my wall, for hours at a time), home-run derbies, ping-pong matches, football and baseball games and bowling and golf tournaments (I have designed an 18 hole course in my backyard). Not to mention all the sleep-overs, poker events, and high-school hangouts. It was so perfect, that I look at other houses today and wonder where I could have done all of this?

#6) Speaking of all those activities, my imagination is always involved. I've played all four major golf tournaments in my backyard, coming up with different formats and rules for each one. I've played all four major tennis tournaments outside against my wall, giving advantages to big servers at Wimbledon (won by Patrick Rafter) and speedy returners at the French (won by Yevgeny Kafelnikov). I've bracketed the NCAA tournament countless times and played it all out. The winners were, Notre Dame (twice), Mississippi, Michigan, Connecticut and Arizona. The Mississippi win was overly dramatic. After I hit the winning shot, I jumped on my trash can as if my teammates were carrying me on their shoulders. Keith Carter will always be a legend in my head. And in my head, he's black. Those are both true statements.
#7) Staying right with those absurd activities that had the neighbors talking. I did play-by-play for all of them (at least in my head when I was outside). However, if it rained, and the basketball games were forced inside, I would take it to the Little Tikes hoop (my best present I ever received, and will follow me until the end) down in the basement. I would get our audio tape recorder, and say the play-by-play games out loud, while I was playing. These tapes included a pre-game show (with music), a halftime report, and a post-game show where I interviewed the winning coach and star player.

#8) These are just over-lapping at this point, and we are only at eight. Goodness. Anyways, I still interview myself all the time, especially in the shower or in the car. It will either be about a video game I just played, how the day is going, or an upcoming episode of LOST. It's my inner-Brett Favre being released. All of this proves I was born to be an idiot ... or an announcer. Let's hope for the latter, watch your back Jim Nantz. The future is coming.
#9) I sing ... and dance ... in the car/shower all the time. It used to be in the car, but only at night. Well, about four years ago I just started going for it. Now it's all the time. If it's broad daylight, and you are pulled up beside me at a stoplight ... chances are I'm singing a song. That or recapping how Notre Dame upset Oklahoma in NCAA Football '09. One or the other.

#10) I hate drama, and avoid it all costs. I also avoid people who create it. Rather, I simply try to make people smile. I know it's corny, but it's just a much better way to live your life.

#11) Unfortunately, I have a slight case of O.C.D. I really can't explain it, but it's there. It doesn't hinder me from doing anything, but I have little ticks that are present. For instance, the NWO "Wolf-pack" saying, "Just ... Too ... Sweet," gets repeated in my head all the time. I will never escape it. I'm not doing this section justice because it's so hard to explain, but, I'm a survivor. Let's put it this way, for the past five years, if I'm watching television, I prefer to have the volume level on my current age (if it's appropriate). Same goes with the radio. So yeah, the television is on right now, and it's on level 23. No joke.

#12) I rank everything ... and anything. TV shows, movies, professors, my friends' girlfriends (what an experience), etc. But, one thing I have never ranked, and refuse to even think about, would be a ranking of my friends. Obviously I have a best friend, but I also have a solid circle of buddies. At 23, they are scattered all over the U.S.A, so it makes sense to stay in touch with some more than others. That's just the way it goes. Oh, I don't rank friends ... or music. My favorite song is Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight," but besides that, don't ask.

#13) This might be the weirdest random fact. So by now, you know I have a great group of friends. But, I also have a great group of friends' parents. Which just reiterates my belief that we are more like our parents than we are willing to admit. My friends' parents mimic so much of the great traits that are in my friends, that it also makes me feel I did a superb job of picking friends.

#14) Staying with parents and family associated items. I have been blessed with the best parents a kid could possibly hope for. They are supportive, loving, funny, and have always been there for me. I never had to look far to find a good set of role models.

#14-a) Never got to be the younger brother, but I did get a younger brother. We have differing attitudes, and you would never guess we are brothers based solely on appearance. But, we do have a rock-solid strong brotherly-bond, one that does get tested from time-to-time, but what doesn't kill it only makes it stronger. At our very core, I think we are both goofballs anyways. Note: you don't have to go as deep into me to find that goofball as you do Josh. I'm curious to see how alcohol will play a factor with him.

#15) I'm in love with Brady Quinn more so than I should be ... but I don't care. He has the possibility - albeit a very slim one - of surpassing Michael Jordan as my favorite athlete of all-time. He would have to lead the Browns to a Super Bowl win. As Gus Johnson said, "Hey, it could happen ... believe."
#16) Will I be the next Bill Simmons? We will see. My dream job (which will happen) consists of me writing a column for a newspaper/national web-site, hosing my own radio show/podcast, and getting on a PTI-type television show. But on top of that, I also want to do play-by-play professionally as well.

#17) Which leads me to Dallas, TX. Each day it is a growing possibility of me just flat-out moving down there. I've been applying to jobs for a solid month now, and the only ones that have come back are all part-time jobs with zero benefits. Why Dallas? Well, there are a ton of opportunities down there, and, a buddy has been pushing for me to come. It would be scary moving with no job in hand, but, it's a move that needs to be made.

#18) Only been to one concert in my life-time, and it was ... Huey Lewis and the News. A family trip to Cleveland to see Lewis and the News. It was outside, it rained, we got soaked, but honestly, it was a fun time. Concerts I want to see today: Coldplay, John Mayer, and Eric Hutchinson. That's the list.

#19) Everyone has a moment where they say they felt themselves growing up. For me, it was when people, on a consistent basis, would answer, "John?" (my dad's name) when I picked up the phone. Throw in the fact that some people, at the same time, would answer, "Maxine?" (my mom's name) when my brother answered, and I knew I was growing up.

#20) One thing I never accomplished, and always wanted to, was to hit a home-run during a Little League game. I batted .694 my 2nd year in E-League (10 years old), and .475 my 2nd year in D-League (12 years old), but never had the power to poke one over the fence. God blessed me with the ability to field the baseball like Omar, but he also gave me the hitting power of Felix Fermin.
#21) Due to the ongoing cold weather here in Ohio, I have not been as active lately as I would like to be. Therefore, I have put on some weight, which is something I never thought possible. I have eaten my way out of "skinny" range, and am sitting comfortably in the "thin" range. And, I couldn't be happier. Ten more pounds and I will be completely satisfied.

#22) Most depressing childhood sports memory: Watching the Indians lose Game Seven of the 1997 World Series. To be that close and then to have it ripped away, was as gut-wrenching as it's gotten for me thus far. Am I fully recovered? Not ... a ... chance.

#23) I love getting "chills" while watching a movie, or a live sporting event. Every single time I watch Cool Runnings, I force myself to get chills during the last bob-sled run. Usually it takes a little nudge, but I always get them during that final scene. But I also get them at unexpected times. Just recently I got "chills" watching Adam Sandler throw the game-winning TD in The Waterboy. Yes, this is my life.

#24) Michael Jordan said that he hated to lose. His competitiveness drove him to greatness. For me, it was more about gaining respect. I hated to lose as well, but I could handle losing if I knew my opposition respected my game. It made handling losses much easier. Classic example of this would be Jeremy Miller (Ohio high school tennis state champ - beat me three times during my career), saying I was a pretty good tennis player. That's all I needed, his respect.

#25) I am not a morning person, and I doubt I ever will be. But, the iHome, is making that a little bit better. Waking up to music of my choice beats the hell out of that annoying buzzer. But it still hasn't made me a morning person ... yet.

#26) One of the most misunderstood facets of my life. I hate letting my friends down. I hate saying 'no' to them, or telling them I can't participate ... or maybe that I don't want to. So instead of straight up telling them, most of the time, I will make myself scarce, and avoid that conversation at all costs. I would be much better if there was a code word I could say, instead of 'no.' Perhaps if I could say "peanut-brittle," instead, I would be more willing to let them down. Perhaps.

#27) Okay, it's time for my guilty pleasures. If you made it this far, congrats. You will be rewarded.

#27-a) The television show Friends. I watch it more than I probably should, but I always end up laughing at something. When I made my list of 50 favorite TV shows, I deliberately did not put it on there, for fear of getting ridiculed. Now, well, I guess it's open season.
#27-b) Britney Spears. Yes, I'm a fan. Grew up with her music. Loved it when she beat out Christina Aguilera for top-spot on TRL. Still hope she does well to this very day. Secretly, I want to marry her. Did I just type that last sentence? If I can't cry after writing that, I doubt I ever will.

#27-c) Justin Timberlake. If Britney can't be with me, then next in line would be J.T. Again, grew up with his music. Loved it when N'Sync beat out The Backstreet Boys for top-spot on TRL. Think he is in the top-five for current-coolest white guys. But, I liked him before he became "cool." So there.

#27-d) Lauren Conrad. The sub-categories of this would The Hills and Laguna Beach, I guess. The sad part is I can even name the scene in which she became a guilty pleasure. It was on Laguna Beach, when her and Stephen were driving back from dinner. They started signing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." I've been following her ever since.

#27-e) Being a sucker for those relationships. I root for relationships. I want Lauren-Stephen to get together. Same with JT and Britney, or Ross and Rachel. Recently it's Jim and Pam. It's the hopeless romantic in me I'm sure. A psychiatrist might say something else.

#27-f) The movie Love, Actually. Another hopeless romantic-type. I love how it has so many different characters, but they are all connected somehow. That, and it has a top-five all-time movie-scene in it. The one with Keira Knightley and "Enough ... enough now."

#27-g) Randomly bad songs that I have heard so many times I know the words to, and then sing them when they are on the radio. This category has too many to name, but Katy Perry's "Hot 'N Cold" song was on yesterday, and yes, I listened to the whole thing ... while singing parts. Do I like the song? Absolutely not, but I've heard it so many times that it occupies a part of my brain. Might be the scariest fact about me of them all.

#27-h) I spend too much time messing with my hair. When I go out, and don't wear a hat, I spend too much time making sure my hair is okay. Not gonna lie, I love my hair. One of the best decisions I've made was letting it grow out before senior year of high school. Yes, it was on a recommendation by my girlfriend at the time, but I still followed through on it, so give me some credit. Until that point, I was a buzz-cut guy. Short hair for the first 17 years. Longer hair for the rest ... until it eventually all goes away.

#27-i) The two items of clothing that I will spend more money than what is necessary are sneakers and hats. I have no problem wearing a $5 collared-shirt if it looks okay, but not with shoes or hats. I've been known to spend more than $30 on a hat, and five-times that much on a pair of shoes. But, I don't buy them that often, which is how I justify it. My current black shoes (Jordan's), which were the most expensive I've ever purchased, have been worn for the past three years, and still look solid. They will get me through 2009 more than likely, and then I will be ready for another large purchase.

And with that, you have reached the end of the list. One thing is certain. After reading that, I'm sure you learned something about me. Christ, I learned something about myself ... which is that I must be clinically insane for opening this up to the general public. But, I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate 100 K.O.A. posts.

Here's to the next 100.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."