2010 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week One QOTW

By: Luke Florence
For the few that are new to this league, this column will feature the top ten (or so) quotes of the week. We use these quotes for two purposes. First, we assign a point total to each quote, with the #1 quote of the week pulling in ten points. The person with the most points at the end of the year wins the Bill Walton Award. Secondly, the winning quote will be entered into the race for the season-ending quote of the year award.

Before we get into the week one quotes, let's settle our payout structure for this year. We have 28 members and a grand total of $560 up for grabs. Next year, if we get close to the same numbers, we will probably up the entry fee a little bit so we can play for a bit more (perhaps even a weekly winner). Anyways, here is what we will be going with in 2010.

First Place - $260

Second Place - $130

Third Place - $80

Fourth Place - $60

Fifth Place - $30

If you finish in sixth, better luck next year.

Congratulations to Kevin Hunt and Brian Boesch for starting the year on top of the league's standings. They both went 12-4 to tie for 1st place following the first week of action. Overall, our league had a very successful week one. More than half of our league went 9-7 or better, which is either blind luck or a sign of great things to come this year.

Also, congratulations to Corey Taylor for going 6-10 and posting the worst week one record. It's a long season, but CT will have the longest climb, having to pass every single one of us if he has any intention of taking home the top prize.

This year I will also be updating our Award sections in this column as well in lieu of a sidebar like last year.

Gus Johnson Award Standings (after one week)

1) Brian Boesch - you start as the defending champion, someone has to come get your spot ... hasn't happened yet.

2) Matt Barnes - his opening 'top 40' theme was strong, but we all know what "The Promise" is capable of.

3) Jeff Schaffer - had some solid comments, and the fact that several big players missed week one boosts Schaf's chances here early.

4) Jason Fazzone - don't know what was more surprising: Dennis Dixon winning on Sunday or Fiz being higher in these standings than Kevin Hunt.

5) Kevin Hunt - two-time champion is busy with coaching football and missed week one, but he's earned enough respect to still crack the top five.

Swami Award Standings

1-tie) Kevin Hunt's Ballbuster Pick of the Week (1-0) - NO over MIN.

1-tie) Brian Boesch's F'd Up Pick of the Week (1-0) - PIT over ATL.

3) Luke Florence's Sunday Ticket and Not Gonna Watch Pick of the Week (0-1) - SF lost to SEA.

All in all it was a very successful first week. Our live updated picks were a huge boost to our league, as our wins and losses changed with almost every scoring play.

Okay, now that the business is set aside let's move onto the first batch of quotes for 2010. Only the top ten count for Bill Walton points. Here we go folks.

Honorable Mention Week One Quotes - good enough to get posted twice, but not quite top ten material

"Not being a Browns fan, I found the Delhomme addition to be one of the most hilarious signings ever...and I'm still taking Cleveland." - Jeff Schaffer.

"OMG – My reaction when the Lions win a game and when Jay Cutler completes a pass to someone on his team." - Matt Barnes.

"I watched the 30 for 30 "Straight Outta LA" several months ago, and all I remember about it is seeing Al Davis in high definition. It was terrifying." - Jeff Schaffer.

"California Gurls – No wonder the Raiders have been struggling lately. They’re always around girls with sun-kissed skin that melts your popsicle. And wouldn’t a melted popsicle ruin your day?" - Matt Barnes.

(After picking Houston) "The Saints won a Super Bowl. All of Cleveland hates LeBron James. I may see Luke this calendar year. Stranger things have happened." - Brian Boesch.

"Not Afraid – Am I afraid of picking the Packers to win the NFC this year? Not at all. Am I afraid of Andy Reid when he’s hungry? Absolutely." - Matt Barnes.

"Did you work six days this summer? Congratulations, you did more than Albert Haynesworth." - Brian Boesch.

"I'm kind of worried about what will happen when Norv Turner, Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel meet at midfield. Kansas City might not have football anymore." - Jeff Schaffer.

TOP TEN WEEK ONE QUOTES

10-tie) "Alex Smith, Matt Hasselback, Derek Anderson, Sam Bradford. Sounds more like a law firm than a division’s worth of quarterbacks, but I don’t trust them with anything." - Brian Boesch.

10-tie) "I’m already planning my trip to Augusta to visit Jake Young in February for the Super Bowl. After the Packers win it all, he will touch me like never before." - Brian Boesch.

9) "Club Can’t Handle Me – This either applies to Plaxico Burress or Ray Lewis, who killed a guy. You can probably throw Rex Ryan in that group too, except it’s more 'Club Can’t Fit Me.'" - Matt Barnes.

8) "McNabb's in D.C., Haynesworth steals from Dan Snyder, Romo is homo." - Jason Fazzone.

7) "The Texans' late-game offense couldn't be more different than the Colts'. If there was a 4th quarter-only fantasy league I'd probably pick Jeff Saturday before Matt Schaub." - Jeff Schaffer.

6) "I'm so sick of people telling me I look like Roethlisberger that I might not pick the Steelers once this year...I'm so much more mobile than him." - Jeff Schaffer.

5) "Teenage Dream – I bet Brady Quinn had teenage dreams of being a star QB in the NFL. Now, his claim to fame: meeting Matt Barnes A.K.A. The Promise." - Matt Barnes.

4) "Luke needs to send an autographed bible verse to Brady Quinn. He really needs it this season." - Brian Boesch.

3) "The Niners should win this division semi-easily, kind of like they used to in the early-mid 90s. But instead of eventually making the NFC Championship, Alex Smith will be their quarterback." - Jeff Schaffer.

2) "I spent the entire summer in the Carolinas, and I didn’t meet a single Panthers fan. I asked many people. Yay expansion!" - Brian Boesch.

1) "I Like It – T.O. and Ochocinco on the same team. Rivals some of the best pairings ever like peanut butter and jelly, Wilbon and Kornheiser and Tiger and Elin." - Matt Barnes.

Congratulations to Matt Barnes for winning the week one quote of the week. Barnes now has the very first entry for the 2010 Quote of the Year. Barnes is well on his way to repeating for that coveted award.

Bill Walton Award Standings (after one week)

1-tie) Matt Barnes - 18

1-tie) Brian Boesch - 18

3) Jeff Schaffer - 17

4) Jason Fazzone - 3

Don't look now, but after one week Brian Boesch currently holds or shares the top spot in the three major awards (Bill Walton, Gus Johnson, and Mel Kiper). This is more commonly referred to as the Triple Crown. Thus far 2010 has been very kind to Brian Boesch.

Here's to sixteen more weeks of fun.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."