Two hours into Sunday's games, I received a text from league member Jake Young. He wrote, "This probably has potential to be the worst week ever for our league."While it certainly was a bad week for a good number of us, it wasn't a Titanic-like drowning. Yes, only two league members finished the week with a plus .500 record, and yes, more than half of us won six games or less.
It was bad, but it could have been much worse.
We could have been Anthony Tynan.
Congratulations to Shane Kline who went 10-6 and posted the best record for week two. Kline used that ten-win week to grab a share of the overall league lead with Erik Smith. Besides Tynan's 0-16 mark, Devin Frank and Luke Polito both went a miserable 4-12 to drop them to the bottom of the standings.
Speaking of standings, here are our award standings after two weeks.
GUS JOHNSON AWARD STANDINGS (after two weeks)
1) Brian Boesch - with Barnes and Hunt both missing a week already, Boesch has put some distance between him and the field.2) Jeff Schaffer - two weeks in and Schaf appears ready to follow Boesch's path to success ... win Rookie of the Year, and then Gus the year after.
3-tie) Matt Barnes - a missed second week drops Barnes a bit.
3-tie) Kevin Hunt - glad to have Hunt back ... didn't feel like an actual Sunday with his absence in week one.
5) Jake Young - his Reds parallels might have hit home harder if I actually knew half of them ... loved the effort though.
SWAMI AWARD STANDINGS
1-tie) Kevin Hunt's Ballbuster Pick of the Week (2-0) - KC over CLE.1-tie) Brian Boesch's F'd Up Pick of the Week (2-0) - GB over BUF.
3) Luke Florence's Sunday Ticket Not Gonna Watch Pick of the Week (0-2) - CAR lost to TB.
4-tie) Kevin Hunt's Gus Johnson Pick of the Week (0-1) - JAX lost to DEN.
4-tie) Jake Young's Seabiscuit Pick of the Week (0-1) - JAX lost to DEN.
"If I went against the Falcons in this one I'd be giving up on the season after one week ... not because a playoff team should easily beat the Cardinals, but because it would mean admitting that Derek Anderson isn't awful." - Jeff Schaffer."The Browns are definitely an improved team, but they should try to start getting Colt McCoy some snaps in the fourth quarter .... an inexperienced rookie under center will perform much better during crunch time than the alternative." - Jeff Schaffer.
"All I want out of this game is for Mike Mitchell to destroy Sam Bradford, since I certainly can't hope for good football to be played." - Jeff Schaffer.
"Second straight week I’m picking the Rams. That’s like deciding to go to a Rams game twice. Really dumb." - Brian Boesch.
"I had a dream this week that I had both Michael Bush and Darren McFadden on my fantasy team and was terrified because of it. Then I remembered that just a few years ago, I actually had both Bush and McFadden on my fantasy team. Do with this as you will." - Kevin Hunt.
"Mark Sanchez…pretty face, not much of a quarterback. Billy Bray…got sideburns like mine, not much of a pitcher. Yeah, it’s the same." - Jake Young.
"The Fighting Romos of San Francisco won't understand the whole "Who Dat??" thing. I know, I know -- just read it again and you'll get it." - Kevin Hunt.
10-tie) "Vick is gonna make the Lions his dogs." - Kevin Hunt.10-tie) "This game should be tighter than Ines Sainz… ‘s Jeans." - Brian Boesch.
9) "The Browns are Jim Edmonds. Like Jake 'Of the man' Delhomme, an over the hill, oft injured, mostly ineffective veteran has been added to the team to add leadership and some extra punch. Leadership…check, I guess. Extra punch…uhh, define punch again??" - Jake Young.
8) "Philip Rivers admitted he does not swear when going crazy on the sidelines. Imagine what kind of words he has said. It’s like the two burglars in Home Alone. How in the world do they not swear ONCE while getting destroyed by a five-year-old future drug addict?" - Brian Boesch.
7) "The Bengals are Brandon Phillips. I love them both, but they can’t seem to shut their mouths at the right time, and usually their threats end up being all talk. I just hope the Bengals don’t end up in a Reds-Cardinals type brawl this week because Ray Lewis will Johnny Cueto all of them, except instead of kicking them, he’ll kill them." - Jake Young.
6) "Sure, Revis put anyone in the league on an island, but the Jets need about 19 islands to shut down all the Patriot receivers. This ain't Indonesia." - Jeff Schaffer.
5) "I saw a kid at a high school game this week. 6-6, 320. Instantly thought of Albert Haynesworth. Good free agent signing, Washington." - Brian Boesch.
4) "Do I think the Bucs are reborn?? Aw hall naw, brah!! Jimmy Clausen might play in this game. Which means he'll probably start a few more times this year and then get traded to Denver for a running back who fumbles the ball." - Kevin Hunt.
3) "Since Michael Vick is Willie Beamen, Andy Reid will probably give a Pacino-esque pre-game speech, something like, 'The lunches we need are everywhere around us!'" - Jeff Schaffer.
2) "Imagine having your girlfriend turn down your proposal at a sporting event (Galarraga’s near perfect game) and then your employer pull down your pants in front of your whole office (Calvin Johnson’s near touchdown). That’s Detroit, baby!" - Brian Boesch.
1) "Canton is planning to open it's new NFL Hall of Shame, first ballot inductees include: O. J. Simpson, Lawrence Taylor, Nate Newton, Plaxico Burress, Travis Henry, Adam Jones, Donte Stallworth, Michael Irvin and of course Big Ben. Nominations remain open until the Browns win the Super Bowl. Rumor has it Chris Henry was dying to get in." - BESS Club.
BILL WALTON AWARD STANDINGS (after two weeks)
1) Brian Boesch - 372) Jeff Schaffer - 30
3) Matt Barnes - 18
4) BESS Club - 10
5) Kevin Hunt - 8
6) Jake Young - 6
7) Jason Fazzone - 3
Congratulations to the BESS Club for winning the week two quote of the week. They join Matt Barnes as the two competitors in the quote of the year award and they vaulted into 4th place in the Bill Walton Award.
Here's to fifteen more weeks of fun.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
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