2010 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Three QOTW

By: Luke Florence
With the NFL its' nearly impossible to make the playoffs if you are 0-3. After three weeks you might not know who is good or who is bad, but at least you know who is awful. The same can not be said for our pick 'em league. After three weeks we know absolutely nothing about who will be contending or drowning.

This year, however, we do have a trend developing within our league. It can be summed up in two words.

Consistently inconsistent.

- No one has won double-digit games every week, although our leader Shane Kline (29-19) has come the closest.

- The two cellar-dwellers, Devin Frank and Anthony Tynan, both started the year going 10-6.

- Seven DIFFERENT people can lay claim to having the best week record, including four of us this week. The King of Arguments, Alex Lucius, Bill Wakefield, and Jamie Reamer all went 11-5.

- Brian Boesch has only one week above the .500 mark, and he is tied for 4th.

Strap in folks, this could be a bumpy 2010.

GUS JOHNSON AWARD STANDINGS (after three weeks)

1) Brian Boesch - unlike the New Orleans Saints, this defending champion is having an unblemished 2010.

2) Jeff Schaffer - unlike the Houston Texans, this upstart did not have a week three setback.

3) Kevin Hunt - unlike the New York Giants, this former champion didn't just lie down and take it this past Sunday.

4) Jake Young - unlike the Green Bay Packers, this cheese-head made some progress last week.

5) Matt Barnes - unlike the Atlanta Falcons, this 'contender' failed to show up ... again.

SWAMI AWARD STANDINGS

1) Kevin Hunt's Ballbuster Pick of the Week (3-0) - BUF over NE.

2) Brian Boesch's F'd Up Pick of the Week (2-1) - ARI lost to OAK.

3) Jake Young's Seabiscuit Pick of the Week (1-1) - ATL over NO.

4) Luke Florence's Sunday Ticket Not Gonna Watch Pick of the Week (0-3) - WAS lost to STL.

5) Kevin Hunt's Gus Johnson Pick of the Week (0-2) - TB lost to PIT.

"So Ryan Fitzpatrick is still playing for the Bills...you'd think an Ivy Leaguer would know better." - Jeff Schaffer.

"The Lions have been screwed over in both of their games, so they’ll keep it close. This week, my guess is Brett Favre quits mid-game, and Tarvaris Jackson leads a game-winning drive at the end. Yay Detroit!" - Brian Boesch.

"Patrick Willis is one of the most terrifying looking people I’ve ever seen. And I’m even more scared of Takeo Spikes. I’d feel more uncomfortable in a dark alley with these guys than I would with Ray Lewis. I’m too scared to pick against them." - Jake Young.

"I saw Stanford crushed Notre Dame this week (sorry, Luke), and I thought about Andrew Luck as a Brown. That’s how bad it has gotten." - Brian Boesch.

"I'm not convinced Baltimore can score a lot of points. I'm also not convinced I can score with a girl. Both could be answered if I ever make a trip to Baltimore in September." - Kevin Hunt.

"This could be questionable considering the Ravens can’t seem to score more than ten, but maybe (insert Browns’ starting quarterback name here) will want so bad to be Ray Lewis’ friend, that he’ll just keep throwing him the ball. I mean, if a bear can learn how to talk just to be his friend, he must be pretty cool. Or he’s sent 'be my friend or I’ll kill you threats.' Or maybe Old Spice really does just smell that good." - Jake Young.

"Hey Miles Austin. Couldn’t help but notice you lost me two points with your fumble last week. You’re not the one that’s supposed to be getting stripped. That’s your girlfriend. Now that we’re clear…" - Jake Young.

"The Fins’ defense probably hit Favre too many times last week. I’ve heard that you can contract 'old' through touch. So, they’re probably going to be a little too slow and constipated this week. Get these guys some prunes!!" - Jake Young.

"So dating a reality TV star is helping Jay Cutler's game...I thought Vanderbilt was the smart SEC school." - Jeff Schaffer.

10-tie) "I asked my two friends about what they thought of when they see Rex Ryan. Got 'elephant' and 'Ruben Studdard-like'. Yep." - Brian Boesch.

10-tie) "When going gets tough, The tough fire coach Wade Phillips. Romo is homo." - Kevin Hunt.

9) "With the days of Ed McCaffrey long gone I might be starting to legitimately dislike the Broncos. Looking at Kyle Orton under any circumstance just makes me angry." - Jeff Schaffer.

8) "I would be Mike Vick’s dog if he led my fantasy team to victory just one week." - Jake Young.

7) "I’m driving up to Cleveland next weekend for the Browns-Bengals game because I use my time wisely." - Brian Boesch.

6) "Alex Smith played well? On Monday night? In New Orleans? Yeah, doesn't sound right to me either." - Jeff Schaffer.

5) "Actual Adam Schefter quote from this week: 'That's why they're sticking with Gradkowski: it's a favorable match-up against the Cardinals.' Using this logic, the Raiders could get away with starting Cade McNown at QB...and use Barnes to spy Derek Anderson the whole game." - Jeff Schaffer.

4) "I feel like Jerry Jones is going to have recruiting visits for a new head coach. Wade Phillips has more chance of lasting than newspapers." - Brian Boesch.

3) "I was at the Laundromat today and the only other person there was a mom who was screaming at her three young boys. What was the first thing she pulled out of the dryer? A Panthers jersey. I immediately understood why she was so upset." - Jake Young.

2) "Do old west saloons still exist? That's the only place I can imagine Kerry Collins ever being." - Jeff Schaffer.

1) "Gus [Johnson] will absolutely make this game, too, considering Pittsburgh is back on its nth string QB, TB's QB is still raw and both defenses might have great days at the office. Gus knows he has about three big plays possible in this one. Let's see if Tampa Bay has 'Gettin away from the Big Ben' speed." - Kevin Hunt.

BILL WALTON AWARD STANDINGS (after three weeks)

1) Jeff Schaffer - 52

2) Brian Boesch - 49

3) Kevin Hunt - 19

4) Matt Barnes - 18

5) Jake Young - 17

6) BESS Club - 10

7) Jason Fazzone - 3

Congratulations to Kevin Hunt for winning the week three quote of the week. It was only a matter of time before someone made fun of Big Ben and took home this honor. Leave it to us Browns fans to take care of business in that regard. Hey, it's all we got.

Here's to fourteen more weeks of fun.

Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."