Last Sunday, Kevin and myself sat down and started compiling a list of At-Large candidates for the F'd Up Tournament. It is a daunting task to say the least. Trying to go back over the past 12 months and uncover the moments that mattered the most in sports, news, politics, movies, pop culture, music, etc is never easy.
Therefore we are enlisting your help. The following are the candidates we came up with, and we would like everyone out there to fill us in on the ones we missed. At the very least, let us know which ones you like the most, and which ones you wouldn't mind missing the cut. We need 48 At-Larges and at least 8 of those to be "bad" candidates. For example, the 0-16 Detroit Lions.
The range of dates used was Thanksgiving 2008 - Thanksgiving Eve 2009. Therefore, Tiger Woods JUST missed the cut-line for this year's tournament, but you better believe he is looking like a #1 seed come 2010.
Without further ado. The 2009 F'd Up Tournament At Large Candidates. (In no specific order)
- Big Ten Bowl Season (1-7): Our least favorite football conference was awful in last year's bowl season.
- Donte Stallworth’s Bentley: He killed a guy. Nuff said.
- Tim Tebow: Jesus Christ, doesn't this kid have to make it?
- Crennel/Savage Era: The Fat Black Man and the Skinny White Man didn't make a good combo.- $36 Library Fine: Only Kevin Hunt could collect a near $40 fine in library dvd's.
- 0-16 Lions: They came, they tried, they lost 'em all.
- Chris Brown: Rihanna will be rooting against him right?
- Jose Reyes: The first draft pick of Cool Runnings II (Kevin and my fantasy team). He killed us.- Eric Wedge Era: It only lasted five more seasons than I would have allowed it.
- The San-chise: Never has a QB played better while completing 5 of 14 passes.
- Eric Mangini: Anytime the Browns get a new coach, he has to at least be considered.
- Brady Quinn: My favorite player won a heated QB controversy. Talk about a dangerous 12 seed.
- Kimbo Slice: Anytime you can get the bearded wonder in this, you have to take advantage of it.
- Brock Lesnar: He may be dead, but this guy is an absolute beast.- Tyler Hansbrough: See Tim Tebow.
- Grady Sizemore's Pictures: He put Jeff Reed to shame unfortunately.
- Alex Mack: We thought it would be the #6 pick, but it turned out to be traded three different times, and eventually turned into this guy.
- Bar Refaeli (SI Swimsuit Cover Model): Hotness.
- Randy Moller: Hands down the best hockey goal calls in the business. YouTube him. Now.
- Kanye West: Still dreaming about a potential Barack Obama-Kanye West match-up.
- Patrick Chewing: What's up Ryan?
- Larry Fitzgerald: Dude was the best player in the 2009 NFL playoffs. Legendary.- Team Self-Esteem: Hunt's and Schaffer's beer-pong team that defied all odds.
- Gettin' Away from the Cops Speed: Gus Johnson's signature call of the 2009 NFL season.
- Weddings and Kids: Everyone is getting married, and everyone is having kids.
- NFL Sunday Ticket: It has changed the way Hunt and I watch sports. It's everything I thought it would be ... and more.
- John Madden's Retirement: Cris Collinsworth couldn't be happier, and Frank Caliendo couldn't be any sadder.
- Brett Favre: Could be getting old, but he is tearing it up with the Vikings right now.
- LOST Season 5: Still prefer Season 1, but the Season 5 finale still has me polarized.
- Bulls/Celtics Playoff Series: No question, the best 1st Round Playoff series I've watched in any sport.- Kenny Powers: "I've been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a c**k like a burmese python, and the mind of a f**king scientist."
- Usain Bolt: All he did was break the 100 Meter and 200 Meter World Records. And, he's a finalist for Time's Person Of The Year. #1 seed anyone?
- Randy Johnson: Might be the last pitcher to win 300 games.
- Mark Buehrle: Perfect game anyone?
- Alberto Contador: Won the Tour De France. They race bikes.
- Pregnant Manny Ramirez: He took pills for pregnant woman. I wish I could make this up.
- A-Roid: And who exactly coined the phrase that cheaters never win?
- Sexy Rick Pitino: If you own a restaurant, don't let Rick Pitino enter after 6 PM.
- H1N1 Swine Flu: Made the bird flu look down right silly.- Twitter: It exploded this year.
- iPhone: Changed the way cell-phones work.
- PS3: Changed the way video consoles work.
- Sonia Sotomayor: A new Supreme Court Justice doesn't happen every year.
- Erin Andrews Hotel Pics: Christmas came early for a lot of guys this season.
- Balloon Boy: The biggest hoax since Global Warming.
- Stimulus Package: Too many sexual jokes to think of just one.
- Hulu: Watched every It's Always Sunny and Arrested Development episode before they started the dumb "rolling episodes" idea.
- Cash For Clunkers: The Beast was a victim, sadly.
- Bernie Madoff: When you get featured on the Seinfeld Reunion show, you get mentioned here.
- Slumdog Millionaire: Won Oscar for Best Picture. I thought it was okay.
- Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”: Probably the track I heard the most this summer.
- Artie Lange/Joe Buck: "Joe, TMZ is your favorite website? What's your second, suckingc**k.com?"
- Barack Obama: Doesn't have a ton of credentials, but he did correctly pick the NCAA Men's Basketball Champion.
- UCONN-Syracuse 6 OT game: Craziest basketball game I've ever watched. Unreal.- “The Hangover”: Funniest movie of the year.
- Funny People: Probably the 2nd funniest movie of the year.
- Queen of Arguments/Frankie The Dog: Wouldn't you like to see the Queen of Arguments face the King of Arguments in the 2nd round?
- Dick Cheney's Wheelchair: So upset by Obama winning the presidency, he couldn't even walk for his Inauguration.
That makes 58 possibles, meaning 10 of these would be out the door. Not to mention the ones you think we forgot. Let us know as soon as possible, because time is of the essence.
Coming up next, we take a look at the three finalists for the F'd Up Enthusiasm Spot. It goes to the person who showed the most enthusiasm and spirit towards the F'd Up Tournament. This year, the finalists are Jake Young, Jeff Schaffer, and Brian Boesch. More information to come very soon.
Until next time, "read it, roll it, hole it."
6 comments:
Here’s the order I choose to put these in…in descending order!
58. Jose Reyes-I couldn’t be more disappointed in a player not named Willy Taveras.
57. PS3-I’ve never actually seen one in person. It may not actually exist.
56. Funny People-I didn’t see it, and wasn’t planning on it, but maybe I will now.
55. Lost Season 5- This will probably get me docked hardcore, because I know the KOA’s obsession with Lost, but I’ve never seen it.
54. Kenny Powers- Never heard of him, but if he is what he says he is, I should probably rank him higher
53. Alberto Contador- I <3 Lance Armstrong
52. Brock Lesnar- Hate him
51. Weddings and Kids- Because I don’t want to think about this stuff right now
50. Tyler Hansbrough-I grew up liking the Pacers. He is the crown jewel of the Indiana’s “Let’s make our team the all-white all-stars” I still think he’s a crying baby
49. Randy Moller- He should be a mainstay, but I don’t think he qualifies here.
48. Bernie Madoff- Just. Don’t. Care.
47. Artie Lange/Joe Buck-Bad Candidate One- They don’t deserve much love. From anyone
46. Eric Wedge Era- He’s no Mike Hargrove. Of course, I didn’t see many Kenny Loftons, Omar Vizquel’s, Jim Thome’s, Alomar brothers, El Presidente’s or Bulldog’s on these teams either. Just Cy Young winners on their way out of town.
45. Dick Cheney’s Wheelchair- Just too funny but he’s old news
44. Big Ten Bowl Season (1-7)—Bad Candidate Two- What a disappointment, but it’s okay because I like the Bobkitties first and foremost these days.
43. The San-Chise-I’m still not sure he can play in cold weather…and he’s playing in New York…hmmm
42. Eric Mangini- I’d like to toss this to Schaf, because there’s gotta be an Eric Mangini face. HaHa
41. Brady Quinn- Nottt exactly one of my favorites. Sorry big guy.
40. Slumdog Millionaire- A great feature of this movie-the song Jai Ho. Love it
39. Chris Brown- Not only did he make Rihanna suffer. I suffered because I missed the Wrigley’s commercials.
38. Mark Buerhle-Who would’ve thought that a Reds cast off would save the best pitched game of the season?
37. NFL Sunday Ticket-It’d probably be ranked higher if I had it, but it’s this high because, even without it, I recognize it’s worth.
36. A-Roid-Bad Candidate Three- Broke it off with Kate Hudson…I should’ve kicked him off the list for that.
35. Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”- Great song. Loved it all summer
34. Crennel/Savage Era- This could be a sitcom, except only the self loathing Browns fans would be laughing…so, all of the Browns fans would be laughing.
33. Bar Rafaeli- Could easily be a mainstay, but deserves to be in this as well because of her first SI cover. (ranked this low because I wish it had been Brooklyn Decker)
32. Hulu-a life saver
31. Donte Stallworth’s Bentley-Bad Candidate Four-what. An. Idiot.
30. Kimbo Slice-Bad Candidate Five- What can be said about this village idiot? Except that now he’s going to kill me but get knocked out in 10 seconds by the next person that fights him.
And...here's the rest.
29. Twitter- I loved it for like a month.
28. Queen of Arguments/Frankie the Dog- Couldn’t leave out KOA’s special people
27. John Madden’s Retirement/Brett Favre- These should be combined. One of the greatest mix ups In communication of all time. Madden wanted to go out with his golden boy. Then the boy dupes everyone again and Big John is on the outside looking in.
26. Balloon Boy-And everyone thought Favre could fool some people.
25. iPhone- the bridge to the future
24. Randy Johnson- one of my favorites of all time and someone I can’t see using an iPhone
23. Kanye West-Bad Candidate Six-Most people’s first thought of Kanye this year is interrupting Taylor Swift. But a good second? When he performed on American Idol and maybe didn’t sing a note on key. (and wore denim jeans and a denim jacket)
22. The saga of Alex Mack’s draft selection is a small picture of the Browns’ franchise currently
21. Stimulus Package- I don’t think I saw any of this. I hope the ones that did actually took advantage of it.
20. Sonia Sotomayor-She seems like she’d kick my ass so she’s top 20
19. 0-16 Lions-Bad Candidate Seven- I was so scared the Pack would lose to them in Week 17. I could barely watch.
18. $36 Library Fine-Fall Quarter Freshman Year at OU, the OU library tried to charge me a $50 past due fee. The problem? I had never taken out a book there. All of them were about Hitler. My mom called and yelled at them until they took it off. They still claimed we were lying though.
17. Cash for Clunkers- My dad is still kicking himself for not taking advantage of this.
16. H1N1 Swine Flu- My first Athens MidDay VOSOT. I got an A- for both quarters of MidDay. I was told less than an A was impossible. Yay me.
15. Pregnant Manny Ramirez- I still love Manny B. Manny.
14. Sexy Rick Pitino- Slick Rick-never did his nickname ring so true
13. The Hangover- I’ll need to watch it 3 or 4 more times to decide if it’s better than Wedding Crashers or Old School.
12. Bulls/Celtics Playoff Series- I don’t like the NBA, but I liked that.
11. Tim Tebow Crying-Bad Candidate Eight-I couldn’t let him crack the top ten, and the name needed altered.
10. Grady Sizemore’s Pics- The news told me tonight that 1 in 6 teens has received a nude pic in a text. So, Grady was really just following the crowd.
9. Usain Bolt-I love him.
8. Gettin Away From the Cops Speed-What Usain has and what makes me love Gus Johnson
7. UConn-Syracuse 6 OT Game-The best game in any sport in 2009 (that I saw)
6. Team Self-Esteem- Not only a great story but also involved in the only tournament where I’ve lost without taking a shot ( thank you girlfriend concussion)
5. Larry Fitzgerald-One of my favorite athletes, and what an amazing player. I don’t know if you know this, but his coaches throw him the ball and he catches it by the point. The catch? He does so without the point making it to his palm. Wow.
4. Patrick Chewing- My favorite commercial of the year probably
3. Glee-My addition. I loved show choir in high school. This is about high school show choir and is based 25 minutes from where I live. I love Glee.
2. Erin Andrews Naked Pics-Erin deserves mainstay tournament. The naked pics things was pretty insulting for her and other female reporters so I pretty much am just saying that I love her.
1. Barack Obama-the first minority leader of the free world gets top nod.
Right on.
Ok, I went through with a few musts and a few no's. Plus a few I think should be considered:
Musts: Tim Tebow, Donte Stallworth's Bentley, 0-16 Lions, Kimbo Slice (because if you don't, he might kill you), Grady Sizemore's Pictures, Patrick Chewing (speaking of, what about the LeBron/Kobe puppets...FANTASTIC), Larry Fitzgerald, Gettin' Away from the Cops Speed, John Madden's Retirement, Kenny Powers (this is the BEST show most people aren't watching), Usain Bolt (more impressive than Michael Phelps in the '08 Olympics), Randy Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Pregnant Manny Ramirez (because he is the only athlete who used PEDs who may actually have thought he needed these...Manny can do anything), Twitter (the F'd Up Tournament should have a Twitter account...just saying), Cash For Clunkers, The Hangover (in fact, I think every major character should get a spot, including Mike Tyson...it was THAT good), QOA (she will be outpicking Luke in this league by 2011...book it)
And the number one MUST: RANDY MOLLER...unbelievably funny. So good.
No's: Jose Reyes (you can win without your top pick in fantasy baseball...football, not so much), Eric Wedge Era (because the F'd Up Tournament isn't about grinding), The San-chise (NO NO NO NO NO...please keep him out), A-Roid, PS3 (agree with Jake, I've never played it...I think Wii Bowling changed the way video consoles work), Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" (that, along with "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night, can go away and I would be better for it)
Possibilities: Derek Anderson's 2-17 win (if you want failure, you need DA in there somewhere), Jaspar Howard (he would be the sentimental favorite...an F'd Up Tournament win might give the blog some national publicity), Dallas Stadium's Scoreboard (one of the biggest stories of the preseason, and now it's a huge failure), Adam Schefter (this guy is unbelievable at reporting stories...basically a monopoly).
I'll think of some other possibilities. This is just what I came up with off the top of my head.
- Brian
Gonna just post some of my suggestions for now, but would love to offer my opinions if needed during the selection process.
Maxime Talbot/Evgeni Malkin - Feel like the KOA will probably want one of these in...Talbot all of a sudden found the ability to score in game 7 of the Cup finals, while Malkin's 36 points in 24 playoff games are nearing Gretzky territory
Taylor Swift - My girl. Her 8 Grammy nominations did come after the cut-off, but the body of work was before it, so I guess it's up to the committee whether or not she'll have to wait til next year.
Michael Mitchell - Second round draft pick from where?
Marc Krauss - See above.
NCAA Lacrosse Final - I know now I seem to be just listing things from my countdown, but this game was incredible
"Bad" Candidates
Marian Hossa - outstanding player but a candidate for a fail seed in the F'd Up Tourney...whores himself out to Detroit to win a ring only to lose to the very team he left
O'Betty's glasses guy - this guy sucks, and I know Hunt can back me up.
Bryant University Basketball - The great Tim O'Shea ending NJIT's epic losing streak...this need's to make it
State Face - The original.
more to come...
Here's a couple forgotten At-Larges:
1) The Most Interesting Man In The World
2) Tom Watson
Love the ideas you guys are coming up with. This is going to be terribly difficult. Due to conflicting Christmas plans with Hunt and myself, this won't be completed until after New Year's.
But what a way to start 2010.
Keep 'em coming guys.
Going to add "Mother Lover" as well. The SNL skit with J.T.
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