2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Eleven - Brian Boesch

By: Luke Florence

Pittsburgh -9.5

Sometimes it's better to look at stats a little differently. This isn't the case for the Browns. Kansas City has 8 more TDs than the Browns offensively. BUT! The Browns do have one more TD on the ground. 2-1! The name on the door is Cleveland.

Indy -0.5

An unbeaten team on the road basically straight up against a team that couldn't score on the Browns until the second half? Black Friday is early this year....what a deal.

San Fran +6.5

The Packers won despite Jake Young's white flag last week. By the way, he's still doing it. If you are confused about the word resiliency, this situation should clear it up for you.

Jacksonville -8.5

The Jaguars are doing better than I am in ATS pick 'em. If I didn't have a bigger fan base than the Jags, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Atlanta +6.5

This may be an impossible mission, but I'm gonna try to do something. Innovators need to have "marbles." Romo is homo was the first, but how about Eli's a Gay Guy? I think we can do it folks. All together now.

New Orleans -11.5

If you're a Browns fan and you need to hold back a smile, just think this...the Buccaneers are better than the Browns.

Cleveland +3.5

Not only is today my 20th birthday (the worst birthday out there), but I'm going to spend it watching the Browns lose 9-6 to the Lions. If I get my birthday wish, the Browns will be searching for a new coach tomorrow.

The F'd Up Pick Of The Week

Luke's been sick, so hopefully this is the perfect medicine. An F'd Up Pick of the Week with Mr. Tony Romo. Conveniently enough, there are 10 letters in the phrase "Romo is homo." So, we're gonna use that instead of numbers. In the words of Luke, Giddy Up.
Team with a heterosexual QB rolls first.
Roll R: Both teams roll an 8. Dallas doubled up with 3's and rolled a 2. 8-8 through 1.
Roll O: Washington with another 8, but Romo's crew only musters a 6. 16-14 WAS.
Roll M: Uh oh, Dallas comes back with a big-time effort. The Skins only get a 4, and Romo (who tends to like similar things...like guys) doubles up again with 5's (and-one: 2). DAL up 26-20.
Roll O: Redskins inch a bit closer with an 8-7 round victory. But the Cowboys still lead by 5, 33-28.
Roll I: I don't wanna jinx it, but we may be in for a good one here. A 10 for Washington, with a double-4 and an and-one 2. Cowboys get a 7. At ROMOI rounds, we sit at 40-38 in favor of Dallas.
Roll S: Washington pulls ahead. Jim Zorn was still booed. An 11 for the 'Skins and 8 for Dallas. 49-48 for the non-homos.
Roll H: Another close roll, but the Skins maintain the small lead. 7-6 in the round, 56-54 in the game. Seriously folks. Fasten your seatbelts.
Roll O: How about a pair of and-ones. Double 6's for Washington, and a 2 on the extra roll. Double 2's for Dallas, and a 6 on the and-one. After all that, the Skins have the lead 70-64 with two rolls to go.
Roll M: The Cowboys do exactly what they had to here...cut the lead in half. The 'Boys win the round 10-7. We head to the final roll, and Washington leads 77-74.
Roll O: WOOOOOOOOOW. What a statement by Washington. DOUBLE 6's! A 2 on the and-one. Dallas down 17. Can Romo pull the miracle.....knowing this league, did you have any confidence he would? Hell no. Just a 7. Washington wins 91-81 in a game closer than the score would indicate. The moral of the story? Don't like Tony Romo.

The pick: Washington +11.5.

Minnesota -10.5

I'm stunned Favre comes up as a misspelled word when you spell-check it? Quite frankly, I'm offended. Brett Favre is the most dynamic and interchangeable phrase in the English language.

Arizona -8.5

I like how everyone says that the Rams play hard for Spags. That's exactly like the whole "But she's got a great personality." It means they suck. Congrats.

New England -10.5

Remember when everyone was going bonkers over Rex and the Sanchize? Remember when they beat the Pats? Not For Long folks.

San Diego -2.5

Denver was dating a hot girl for awhile, and it was reaping all the benefits. Everyone loved it. It got a lot of attention. And then, the girl's ex-boyfriend swooped in and took her away. Losing to Washington was the last straw. The girl and ex-boyfriend just eloped in Vegas. Sorry, Denver.

Cincinnati -9.5

The only logical segway into props to the Ohio Bobcats. Friday at 11 AM on ESPNU, the MAC East title game...Ohio and Temple. Mike Mitchell will be watching. You should too. Go Bobcats.

Philly -2.5

This just in. That girl's ex-boyfriend from the San Diego-Denver comment was Jay Cutler. What a douche.

Tennessee +5.5

Vince Young is doing exactly what Romeo Crennel did in 2007...delaying the inevitable. He's not an NFL QB. Romeo isn't an NFL coach. I hope for Titans' fans' sake that he gets crushed the rest of the season.

I'll keep this rather simple. There's a reason Brian Boesch is currently ranked #1 in the Gus Johnson standings. And you just read it.