2009 NFL ATS Pick 'Em: Week Eleven - Matt Barnes

By: Luke Florence
Theme: White American NBA Players

MIA-CAR

This is a match-up of which team can become the Chris Quinn (or any ND B-Ball player for that matter) of their conference: Just average.

PIT-KC

Matt Cassel is to the Chiefs as Tyler Hansbrough is to the Pacers - the Great White Hope.

IND-BAL

I wonder how much money would Knicks center David Lee pay Ray Lewis to stab him just so he could no longer play for the Knicks? Hell, Ray would prolly do it for free.

SF-GB

There's potential for both teams like there is with Kevin Love. But potential is the same thing Charlie Weis had as Notre Dame's coach and Luke as a tennis player. Didn't get them anywhere.

BUF-JAX

The Jags have a Matt Bonner approach to their games. It's real ugly to watch but it gets the job done in the end.

ATL-NYG

The Giants have gone all JJ Redick on us. Started off great like JJ in college but what's happened? The Giants have lost 4 in a row and Redick is about as useful as the mop boy under the hoop. Actually, that's an insult to the mop boy.

NO-TB

They may be 1-0 in the orange creamsicle uniforms but the Bucs are gonna feel like Chris Kaman when this one's all over. Overmatched by someone much better and the ugliest thing on the playing surface.

CLE-DET

Adam "cry me a river" Morrison is less of a disappointment than both of these teams are.

WAS-DAL

The Cowboys are still playing like Steve Blake, better than what many expected. Meanwhile, the Redskins are playing like Matt Carroll. They have their moments but aren't gonna be good anytime soon.

SEA-MIN

With the way Brett Favre is playing, he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Kind of like Brad Miller, except the fact that he is as much talent as Favre has his his left pinky finger.

AZ-STL

The Rams remind me a lot of Jason Kapono. They're only good for one thing. Rams can run it down your throat with Steven Jackson. Kapono can win a 3-point contest for whatever teams decided to sign him to the NBA minimum in the offseason.

NYJ-NE

Still waiting for Bill Belichick to just admit he pulled a BJ Mullens. Went for it all, got no results, and is now the laughing stock of everyone.

SD-DEN

After this game, Chris Simms might have to make a call to Luke Walton and discuss how much it sucks to be so much worse than your Hall of Fame dad.

CIN-OAK

The Bengals are the Brian Scalabrine of the NFL. You ask yourself what the fuck are they doing playing so well and while you think you know the answer, you don't. Good thing you don't have to worry about that with the Raiders.

PHI-CHI

Jay Cutler was the toast of the town in Chi-town just like Jason "White Chocolate" Williams was in the NBA back in the 90's. But now, Cutler is throwing interceptions like he's Jake Delhomme and Williams is wondering why he's become the white Penny Hardaway.

TEN-HOU

The Chris "Birdman" Andersen game of the week. Should be exciting to watch, just sans the 25 tattoos, white trash hairdo, broken english and baby blue headband.

Matt Barnes' posts stand-out this season for two reasons. One, he somehow intelligently ties in his theme with each and every game of the week. And two, he always knows how to use the 'personal dig.' Whether it be Notre Dame, Tiffin, etc., he shows no fear. I do the same thing with Ohio State and Columbus, so it's a great working trade-off.